The valley of refinement can be an excruciating place, but also an encouraging one for me as I go through “on the job training tests” that tear down old ways for wiser ones. The Lord has been showing me that I can waste a lot of joy, a lot of living and a lot of tears hurt by the words and actions of others. I am not saying harsh words or unkind acts do not pierce hearts; they do! It is how I frame those events that makes the difference. I am a recovering people pleaser. I want everyone to like and be happy with me. Moments when my desire for life to be lavished by the sweetness of petunias, but it stings with shards of pain; my thinking becomes very crucial. I have to practice and practice learning that the hurtful things people do and say are much more about the thorns of their heart than the thoughts knocking to enter my head. When I am quick to make it about me, I am journeying towards the company of self-pity, whose arms are always open and waiting to receive a sensitive, people pleaser like me. Father, sometimes I am the wounded and sometimes the wounder, help me keep careful watch over the growth of my heart so I may be quick to give you my splinters in exchange for the fruit of your Spirit.