Author: dannalundstrom

Rest

- dannalundstrom

DSC_0438

I open my eyes and it’s 8:00 AM. I squint a little harder, surely I must not see right? I walk out onto the balcony, life giving reading material and breakfast in hand. As I sit trying to read, nature keeps stealing my attention. There is a gentle, but commanding breeze that is stirring up a chorus among the trees. Their leaves swish and sway in a harmony that beacons a deep exhale.There is a lizard with a bright blue tail gingerly exploring the deck. The water is calm and flowing like silk. The air is cool and feels fresh and crisp as it dances around me. There are birds chirping, signaling the start of a new day. They chirp and pause, chirp and pause as if they are in deep, connected conversation.

These are the sights and sounds of rest. These are the sights and sounds of peace, telling me it’s time to unplug and step off of the treadmill of the daily grind, and rest. It seems like such an easy invitation, so why is it so hard? It feels so natural yet so incongruent. It’s inviting and it’s awkward at the same time. It’s seemingly effortless but it takes focused intention.

Why? Why is that four letter, little word, rest, so hard? For me, I don’t live in that place near as much as I would like to, yet it is what we were created for. Rest in our minds; rest in our hearts and rest in our realities. Some realities are hard to rest in, and in those spaces I find myself fighting, fighting to make life work. Fighting to see the expectations I have created come to be, rather than be shattered before my eyes. Fighting to understand the realities of those that don’t seem fair and surely don’t make sense. It’s here I have to remind myself that expectations are the thieves of souls, as much as trying to understand HE who I am only called to know and trust, not comprehend.

So as the trees are singing a song of rest, and the harmony and chorus of nature is beckoning me, I hear a faint summons in my soul, asking me to lay it down. Lay it all down, and rest. As I listen to that calming voice, I am reminded of one of my favorite verses that always provokes a deep breath and a sense of calm within me: For now we see only a reflection in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.~1 Corinthians 13:12. I am fully known, and I am fully loved-that is rest!

The Rescue is in the Relationship

- dannalundstrom

tumblr_lsylffo0pn1r2tpdmo1_500

I know a lot of you are facing some very difficult circumstances. Trails and hardships that threaten your desire to wake up, to get dressed, to smile, and carry on. I can confidently say I am familiar with that place. A few years ago, I went through a trial that positioned me in such despair that I gained a new identity-victim. Life alternates between numbness, crying, anger and fear there. I was drowning in a set of circumstances with no life preserver.

Why? I had plenty of friends for support. I went to a good church, and had all my life. I had a supportive family. I had every provision I needed. I had…I had…I had so much, yet none of it was enough to save me from my own despair. It was there, broken and helpless, that God found me.

It’s a perplexing thing to understand. I had been in church all my life. He hadn’t found me, or I him before? No! I had found a religion, not a relationship. I had found a lot of laws, not a lot of grace. I had found a lot of truth and not a lot of freedom. I had found a book called the Bible, but not the gospel. I had heard but I didn’t really hear. I saw, but didn’t really see, and I knew, but didn’t really know, didn’t really know-HIM.

It was not until I entered the darkest place that I began to find the light. For when things are always bright we cannot see, and when we cannot see we will eventually stumble. I say all this to encourage you that when life feels overwhelming, unbearable and hopeless, we can choose hope and peace, because it is in the darkness that we see the light, and it is only by the light that we find our way.

Rescue comes in the Relationship, and I did very little on my own to initiate that. All I did was start showing up, and some days it was a battle to do that! I can tell you, though, once you have been dragged through a dense forest, once you have been redeemed from victim to victor, subsequent trails, which are no doubt inevitable, become such a different experience! If for no other reason they draw us into compete lack of self-sufficiency, and into complete dependance upon a Savior. The more you need someone, the more you get to know them. Then a curious thing happens, the more you get to know Jesus, the more you want to spend time with him, and it only gets sweeter from there.

I’m not going to lie, some circumstances are outright unthinkable, but you can choose to find one positive thing in the midst of them, and that is an invitation…come broken, come messy, come weary, come over burdened-just come! I will personally testify-HE will meet you there. Trust me, I am there a lot, and I do know!

Scandalous Vulnerability

- dannalundstrom

Damian-Gadal-1 It is out of our own bleeding that we are equipped to become blessings.  Gods word says that it is in our suffering that we become qualified to be comforters of those who follow the broken paths we have traveled~2 Corinthians 1:4.  No one precisely understands like someone who has worn our shoes.  Not one relates as one who has followed our journey.  We acquire so much healing power along the broken roads we travel.

Trails of brokeness where expectations are shattered, wholeness is lost, and life intersects the realities of a fallen world are actually the very places we are made into the image of Christ.  They are the moments HE becomes real to us. They are the hollow spaces that Jesus becomes a necessity and not a duty, a Savior and not a story book character.

Why do we try to conceal our wounds?  In our shame we dress them up and disguise them in ways the Bible calls filthy rags.  In reality, they are beautiful stories that are filled with so many opportunities to help others, and in turn heal us. Our trials are signs that something threatened us, but we overcame.  They are painful, but in all their pain lies a power that only we possess.  A power to heal and share that healing with a friend.  As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.~ Proverbs 27:17.

May we all use our wounds to bless not depress; encourage not discourage; connect not conceal; heal and not hide. We all share a common brokenness in this life. We can let that brokenness be ruled and concealed by toxic shame, or another option is we can choose a different course.  Many things can be taken from us in this life, but the power to choose our thoughts belongs to us alone, it just takes intentional discipline and sometimes an outright fight between the enemy that pursues us, and the  Spirit that dwells within us.

The choice to choose to use our wounds to heal, free and connect takes courage and a great act of faith, not to mention vulnerability. Scandalous vulnerability is a beautiful thing!  It says, I am HIS, He has paid my debt, and I am free to be broken because Jesus made me whole.  It is in this place of sharing and connecting that we discover we are all really more alike than different. We find that we are not an anomaly, we are normal.  I pray for my faith and courage to be strengthened so I choose faith over fear and scandalous vulnerability over safety shackled by shame.  I’m not saying it will always be easy.  What I am saying is that what is right is not often painless, and what is painless is not often right.  Once I savored the freedom of Christ imparted righteousness, and consequential vulnerability, it was the setting free of an over burdened soul.  The freedom is yours too friends.  You just have to choose it.

Finding the Sparkle in the Quiet and the Small

- dannalundstrom

I’m going to be honest for the sake of being transparent and authentic, because I have learned that it is in admitting my struggles that I find freedom, and maybe loan a little out, too. Holidays are difficult for me. Whether it’s Christmas, birthdays, 4th of July…I have to fight some degree of sadness, and sometimes my fight is weak.

I grew up in a big family, and everyone lived within a reasonable distance. Holidays were very grand at our house and my grandmother’s houses. My mom and grandmothers were all great cooks, and definitely fed many small armies over the years. As much as the food, I remember the fellowship, the laughter, the sporting events on TV, big firework displays, football games in the yard, all the men falling asleep on the couches-:)… I remember so many people, the constant roar of conversation, laughter and the euphoria of kids everywhere-a lot of kids!

Every holiday was as old as it was new, foreign as it was familiar, and worn as it was refreshing. They were truly wonderful times that have branded priceless memories deep into my heart.

As another holiday approaches Friday, I have felt that restlessness settling into my soul. I have to be intentional to remember the happiness of what was, while forging gratitude in what is. What is, is still beautiful, it’s just different. If you have the luxury of having most of your family healthy and close by, don’t take it for granted. You are truly blessed. I am blessed too, my blessings just look different than yours.

A couple of weeks ago I was flying back from Texas, (where all of my family is), to Birmingham. As I was standing in line with my children waiting to board the plane, a dialogue was going on in my head. Was I flying back home or leaving home. I was conflicted in my answer. I later realized that the answer didn’t really matter, because home is wherever the people we love are, and that can be many places. Also, in his grace, The Father reminded me that all these homes are just temporary resting places along the journey to my forever home-a place where it will be one big, ongoing reunion with all those I love in attendance.

Jesus promises that “in my Father’s house there are many rooms.” I’m so grateful, because we will need them! As for this holiday, it may be quite, it may be small, but sometimes it’s the the quite and the small that create the most sparkle! More so, though, it is about focusing on cherishing my blessings and committing to choose joy in all situations, whether they be extraordinary or ordinary. So much beauty in life really is found in the ordinary.

 

A Little, BIG Choice

- dannalundstrom

fear-or-faith

Every morning is a new start, and we wake up to the reality of a simple choice. A choice to choose one of two things that will chart the course of our day-fear or faith. Because we live in a fallen world this is an ongoing choice that has to be renewed daily, sometimes hourly, and even minute by minute. It really is the most daunting, small choice we make each morning.

Frankly, fear is the easier choice. It requires no fight, no hope and when we are tired, weak and weary it accepts us with open arms asking nothing of us. No effort, no commitment, no nothing! It can seemingly be a non-threatning friend whose presence can actually become more secure and comfortable if we abide there too long.

Faith is the harder choice because it requires us to fight: fight to believe when we are tired; fight to trust we we are skeptical; fight to understand when life is unfair, difficult and cruel.

Fear is unpredictable and has many faces. It can grip us to the point of disability. It can make our bodies shake, our hearts race and risk the stability of our physical, emotional and spiritual well being. It can be the quiet whisper or the loud scream of cynicism that burdens us with our unbelief.

Faith, is the more stable choice because it requires of us only one thing-belief. The belief in what is promised will never fail. Fear will fool us, sicken us and make us crazy, and even sometimes comfort us, but it will always fail us. Faith only requires one thing, but it gives much: protection, hope, security, and an assurance of a beautiful, pain free, inheritance that is promised us if we just believe (just to mention a few)! Fight friends!

Dying to Self

- dannalundstrom

Living the Christian life is a constant, daily renewal of ourselves in so many ways.  One of those ways is dying to the desires of our flesh, so that we may seek and walk the path that Jesus has laid for us.  Sometimes this is hard, very hard.  The desires within us are not a bad thing, but it is us within the desires that is the problem.  When we hold on too tightly to a desire, it can easily preoccupy our mind in a way that gives more time and energy to the desire, and less focus to God.

This is something I have to remain aware of every morning when I wake up.  I have a lot of desires.  Most of them good, healthy desires, but certainly all of them could control me if I didn’t daily submit them to Jesus upon waking.  I have started a new habit ever morning.  Either before getting out of bed, or just upon waking, I thank Jesus for giving me another day, and then I ask him this:  Jesus please get me aligned and focused with you vertically before I begin interacting horizontally with the world.  Please help me to filter my words, actions, and thoughts through a  lens that is reflective of you.  Amen.

One desire I struggle with is to live close to my family.  They all live 3 states away, and this is very hard for me.  Holidays are especially hard.  When I think of all the get-together’s, birthdays, dinners, weddings, and much more that I miss, it makes me sad.  I could really dwell on this and be consumed by my sadness and my will to be closer if I didn’t re-submit it to God every morning.  It is a daily “dying to self” and believing that this is where my Heavenly Father, the one who loves me beyond all others; the one who desires what is best for me more than anyone;  and the one who protects me in ways I cannot understand and no one else can, would have me be.

 

It is not an easy thing!  It is hard for me to understand why?  It is difficult to comprehend why something that feels so wrong can be right.  Belief is hard work!  Sometimes it is the most difficult work I do every day.  If we can bathe ourselves in Jesus’s promises, however, and allow ourselves to believe in HIM, it all becomes a little easier, at least it does for me.  He does not promise us we will understand, but HE does promise us that HE works all things for the good of those who love HIM.

Ecclesiastes 11:5~  As you do not know the path of the wind, or how a baby is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things.

Romans 8:28~  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.

These types of promise are the only things that keep me at peace in a world where desires of my flesh run wild.  Giving my selfish needs to my loving Savior daily is the only way.  It is not always the easy way, but nowhere in the Kingdom, only in the world, does it say the right way will be the easy way this side of Eden.

Whatever desires you are struggling with, and my guess is there are many because I cannot believe you are that different from me, submit them.  Submit them daily, and sometimes that even means hourly.  Ask Jesus to help you to be content where he has you, and fight to believe he has you there because it is where you belong in his story, not yours.  I ask him every day, Jesus please help me to be content no matter what my zip code reads.  It took me a long time to get to a place where I could give him that desire, still have it, but leave him in charge of it and my happiness, not me!  It took me a long time, the desire is still there, but my desire to trust and believe My Father, and walk in his way,  is stronger as long as I keep giving it to Him!

 

Divine Interruptions

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

b1bf407f6c6d23bef2fb91ccffeee89e

This has been on my mind a lot this week. We go about our lives planning our days and our family’s days. We set our sights on goals, and achievements which is a good thing, but sometimes we get lost in the pursuit of those goals and we loose living, really living because our plans overshadow our purpose. The problem with this is that so many of these goals are not eternal, and in the blink of an eye they can be snatched from us with no warning and no apology.

Like a thief that has broken into our sacred space, we are left feeling stripped, lost and defeated. Interruptions to our plans steal our joy and our purpose when we are so strongly married to an outcome that we perceive as success. It’s hard to accept that something that feels so wrong could be right when these unwelcome interruptions come along, but it is a fact of life we must fight to embrace because we are not in control and our picture of success that is based on anything of this world is an illusion.

I pray to fight harder and believe stronger that these interruptions, are divine redirections even when it feels counterintuitive. I pray to not let myself be so warped up in an outcome that an interruption or providential re-positioning cannot move or shake me, but rather peak curiosity laced excitement about where my future surrendered to THE one who paves my paths, and my family’s paths will lead. Mostly, belief is a hard fight. I pray to keep my fighting gloves always laced up and ready to fight for what I know to be true by faith, and not necessarily what appears to be true by sight.

My Plans, His Providences

- dannalundstrom

Isaiah 30:21

Whether you turn to the right or the left, you ears will hear a voice behind you, saying; “This is the way, walk in it.”

path

 

Yesterday was a rough day, today will be a good day. I was painfully reminded of this verse yesterday: Proverbs 16:9~ In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. As a mom we pray, research, investigate…what is best for our kids, and then we plan for them accordingly. I forgot in my planning, and subsequently “sealing of the deal” in my mind, nothing is ever permanent or guaranteed, (even when you have it in writing), except the will of God. When we hold our plans too tightly in our hands, it can really shake us when those paths are providentially re-directed. A potter works his masterpiece with skilled hands, applying just the right amount of pressure at the right time. If squeezed too hard, the clay begins to twist, or in potters language, torque.The key is knowing just the right amount of pressure to apply and when. If the potter grasps the piece too firmly with both hands and holds on tightly during the perfecting, molding process, it will not turn out as he planned. Life is a lot like that, too. We must hold all our plans loosely in our hands so that God can change, refine and perfect them with his accurate hands, not ours. I forget so easily when I forget I’m not in control.

Turn Your Child’s Sin Into Success

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

e1a29e552d75ad2d2406d2f9a8f688b3As any good parent, we all want to have perfect children, and we all know we don’t.  Sometimes we try very hard  to cling to “perfect child” righteousness, because it makes us feel more socially acceptable, and like we are keeping up with all the “perfect” people in the trifecta of disillusionment-Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.  I am casting no judgement, because let me assure you-been there, done that-FOR SURE!

When I finally grasped that none of my accomplishments, my children’s accomplishments…, or anything outside of Jesus could make me righteous and complete, it was another triumph in my heart.  It was another fresh taste of freedom that we only find in the provisions of our Provider!  When I forget, it is finished, I am finished.  Forgetting that always proves costly for me, because trying to grab the world’s robes of righteousness to dress myself, my life, my marriage, my children or any other part of me up (filthy rags,as the Bible calls them), is an exhausting and artificial way to live .

Our children’s sin is natural, just as ours is.  They are young, not so smart, and still learning to negotiate this life.  They are still fighting for their position, their worth and their reputation in the eyes of their peers.  Knowing that they are going to mess up, and often, is wise to go ahead and make peace with as early as possible.  It is much easier to redeem their sin as a parent when we can find the messages in the mess ups that will teach them more than any punishment ever would.  I’m not saying there is never a time for consequences, because there is, but sometimes grace yields much more growth than grounding.

Last week I went to my kids school because my son called and told he was in the finals of a 3 on 3 basketball tournament.   He wanted me to come watch.  When I arrived in the gym, the game had not started.  I immediately saw my daughter (7th grade) standing in the gym with a circle of friends.  I ambitiously waved to her, and much to my surprise, she looked mortified, and mouthed the words to me, “why are you here?”

Ok, I know that I should have remembered my junior high years, but come on, am I really that embarassing?  I was dressed pretty hip, had makeup on, and a smile on my face.  Oh, that so did not matter!  I might as well have looked like an alien because she definitely looked like she saw one.  Noticing I was not necessarily a welcome sight to her, “what will my friends think mentality,” I retreated to a corner to wait on the game.

What I thought was a safe corner shortly became a war zone of redundant text messages… LEAVE NOW, PLEASE GO AWAY, WHY ARE YOU HERE… To say I was horrified is an understatement.  After ignoring several messages,  I texted her back, “Sorry I was invited here by your brother.   I have a right to be here, and if you have a problem with that, you are free to go to another room in the school.”

The reason this was all so shocking to me was because this is my,  child that rarely gives me any problems.  I rarely have trouble with her, and when I do, it’s minor.  Discipline is just never an issue.  She obeys, is helpful and has always been eager to please.  The “body snatchers” had definitely shown up in that moment and abducted my pleasant child.  They robbed her of  all her, I love my mom sweetness.

To make matters worse, when I did not leave she decided she had to take a more aggressive step to ignite my departure, and restore her social status in the realm of her peers.  I am now talking to another mom, and up she comes , body snatchers on board,  and starts telling me, “please leave,” while trying to push me out of the gym.  Now I am not only horrified, but mad, shocked, and in total disbelief.  I wanted the floor to open up and just take me away in a magic hole.  Yea, we know that didn’t happen.  She looked ridiculous, and I felt horribly embarrassed.

Upon leaving the school that afternoon, I felt angry and hurt, but I knew that I needed some time to process and pray about how to handle what happened, and that’s what I did. I thought about taking her phone away, grounding her, and a lot of other punishments, but grace kept chiming in.  This was very atypical behavior for her.  I rarely have to discipline her beyond telling her something once.  Did she deserve to be punished-absolutely.  Would she learn anything from me taking her phone away, or any other restriction?  I wasn’t really sure.  Usually one stern look can send her into tears, so I knew I had a to choose my course of action wisely if this was going to be a learning experience.

Ultimately, I decided to take the road less traveled that day, and as the famous words go,  it made all the difference!

When I picked her up,  she was in the backseat.  We exchanged a few awkward pleasantries.  I then told her I was very shocked, hurt and saddened by her behavior that day.  I told her I had been thinking and praying since I left the school about how to handle what happened. I explained to her that I was contemplating taking her phone away, restricting TV privileges, among other options.  I let her know once she finished her homework we would need to sit down and talk.  From the backseat I only heard a soft, but shame laden, “yes ma’am.”

6cc889098349daf806f65245c9d0af4f

We did sit down later, face to face, and I told her I had decided not to punish her, but that I wanted to discuss some things with her.  I again explained to her there would not be tolerance for that type of behavior next time, so be warned.

Then we really got into the heart of the matter.  I asked her if she knew why she did what she did that afternoon?   She shamefully shook her head no, and said, “I’m sorry mama.”  I said, “I think the reason you acted that way today was because in that moment, you felt what your friends thought of you was more important than what Jesus thought of you.”  Her eyes got big.  I asked her if she thought that was right, and she nodded in agreement.  I hugged her and told her, that I understand how that happened, because I, too, sometimes forget that only Jesus’ opinion matters.  Sometimes I also am trying to impress the world, but the world does not give me my worth or value, only Jesus can do that.  We then said a prayer and asked God to forgive us for all the times we try to make ourselves perfect outside of him.

That night as I was tucking her into bed, we said prayers, and she looked at me a bit  ashamed, and said, “mom, I am really sorry how I acted today.”  Now we needed to take care of that shame and condemnation she was feeling.  Perfect!  This was a great opportunity to go to God’s word and show her life giving truth such as:  Isaiah 30:15~In repentance and rest is my salvation, Romans 8~1 Therefore, there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus,  Isaiah 43:25~ He blots out our transgressions and remembers them no more. Thank you Jesus for you word that nourishes our weak and weary souls.  Thank you for grace that frees us from the pressure to perform and get it right.  Thank you that we can mess up, and you can manage it into a beautiful message.  Thank you for my daughter’s sin that day.

This was such a fruitful sin my daughter committed that day.  It was loaded with learning opportunities about grace, mercy, repentance, rest, forgiveness and so much more.  I have no doubt that this approach was abundantly more successful than any punishment would of ever been!  I am so glad grace won out that day.  It is a day I don’t think either of us will soon forget.  There was so much success in her sin that day, and punishment would of crushed any chance of redemption!   It was an imperfectly, perfect day!

I love my daughter.  She is a sinner just like me, but she is a great kid, and I am blessed to be her mama!  She has more determination and a work ethic like few I know. I pray that she can begin to find the freedom from the idol of people approval, and rest in the freedom   of Jesus’ unending approval.

IMG_4705

Grace

- dannalundstrom

Judgement is so insidious. It lurks in my thoughts, lashes out in my words and sometimes directs my actions without much, if any planning. In this life, judgement is free to give, but costly to receive.

 Grace is just the opposite of judgement. It is free to receive but often costly, requiring much of myself, to give away. Things are not usually worth much if there isn’t a struggle in giving them away. It is always in giving that I find I am actually receiving. Today and everyday, may my thoughts, words and actions be filtered through blood stained glasses so that I may abide more in grace and less in judgement.

6cc889098349daf806f65245c9d0af4f