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Scandalous Vulnerability

- dannalundstrom

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It is out of our bleeding that we are equipped to become blessings. God’s word says that it is in our suffering that we become qualified to be comforters of those who follow the beaten paths we have traveled~2 Corinthians 1:4.  No one precisely understands like someone who has worn our shoes. No one relates as one who has followed our journey. We acquire so much healing power along the broken roads we travel.

Trails of brokenness where expectations are shattered, wholeness is lost, and life intersects the realities of a fallen world are the very places we are made into the image of Christ. They are the moments HE becomes real to us. They are the hollow spaces that Jesus becomes a necessity and not a duty, a Savior and not a story book character.

Why do we try to conceal our wounds?  In our shame, we dress them up and disguise them, only holding our souls hostage.  In reality, they are beautiful stories that are filled with so many opportunities to help others, and in turn, heal us.  Our trials are signs that something threatened us, but we overcame.  They are painful, but in all their pain lies a power that only we possess to set free.  A power to heal and share that healing with a friend.  As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.~ Proverbs 27:17.

May we all use our wounds to bless not depress; encourage not discourage; connect not conceal; heal and not hide.  We all share a common brokenness in this life.  We can let that brokenness be ruled and concealed by toxic shame, or we can choose a different course. Many things can be taken from us in this life, but the power to choose our thoughts belongs to us alone, it just takes intentional discipline and sometimes an outright fight between the enemy that pursues us, and the Spirit that dwells within us.

The choice to choose to use our wounds to heal, free and connect takes courage and a great act of faith, not to mention vulnerability.  Scandalous vulnerability is a beautiful thing!  It says I am HIS, He has paid my debt, and I am free to be broken because Jesus made me whole.  It is in this place of sharing and connecting that we discover we are all more alike than different.  We find that we are not an anomaly, we are normal.  I pray for the grace to choose faith over fear and scandalous vulnerability over safety.  I am not saying it will be easy; it won’t but it will be eternal.  What is right is often painful, and what is painless is often not right.

Once I savored the freedom of Christ imparted righteousness, and consequential vulnerability, it was the setting free of a hidden soul.  The freedom is yours too friends.  You just have to choose it.

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises you made
You make me brave ~Amanda Cook

 

Even If

- dannalundstrom

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I was sitting on my counselor’s couch Thursday, and we were talking.  She has several large picture windows in her office, and it is up high, so I often feel like I am sitting in the trees, so close to the big blue sky that I could reach out and stroke my hand through the white, puffy clouds. This day the sky was particularly beautiful. Like a sea of bright, unadulterated baby blue.  As I talked to her, my attention kept being drawn to the beauty of the sky.

I was explaining to her my need to stay in the moment every day as to prevent events on the horizon from sabotaging my peace.  Taking every thought captive to the obedience of The Lord is imperative for me. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

As I continued talking I told her,”I want to sit here and ask you, what if this happens; or what if this, what if, what if, what if.  At the very moment I finished those words, my mind was interrupted.  There was a pause in my spirit, and The Lord planted a crucial truth in my heart.  The words spilled out of my mouth before even realizing it.  In that moment God said, D’Anna, you are asking the wrong question.  Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego?  They never asked what if, they confidently and courageously stated, “Even If.”

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were the three pious, Jewish, youths thrown into a “fiery furnace” by Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon because they refused to bow down to the king’s image according to chapter 3 of the book of Daniel.  The three replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you.  If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us.  But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”  As the chapter goes on to relate, the three were bound up and thrown into the fiery furnace.  Much to Nebuchadnezzar’s amazement they were seen walking around unbound with a fourth person who looked like a God in the furnace.  The king ordered the men to come out.  Not a hair on their head had been harmed, and the king exclaimed, “Praise to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego!”  (Daniel 3)

How often are we letting our minds become battlefields; wandering around asking, “what if?”  When we enter the “furnaces of life”, what questions are we asking, and how are we viewing God; absolute or apathetic?  I am thankful the Lord reminded me of this valuable truth on Thursday.  I pray I never again forget not to ask what if; but with confidence and trust in my Savior to say, “even if.” Even if it does not work out as I see it, I will still stand with faith in my God who works all things for my good because I know He loves me! (Romans 8:28)

Perfectly Imperfect

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

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She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.  Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”  Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Does this crush you?  It sure does me if I am using it as a motto to live instead of a model to learn!  I cannot measure up to this, and I cannot think of anyone who does.  This passage is not meant to condemn us, though, but rather point us to our need for Jesus.  Also, the last part is the concept we all need to grasp. A woman who fears The Lord will be greatly praised.  Fear in this sense does not have a negative connotation, but a positive one.  Do we live in reverence, of God, desiring to please Him and be obedient to His will?  Do we do this to make ourselves look good, or because we understand the sacrifice Jesus endured for us, and we want to honor Him out of an understanding of the deep love He has for us? A love so sincere and pure that he died for us.  If we try to be good out of our strength we will never measure up; we will be crushed by our failures.

Mom shame is one of the deadliest tools of the enemy that depletes our self-worth, peace,  joy and contentment.  We have all experienced it, and we have all felt the condemnation that accompanies it.

Yesterday morning was one of those less than stellar mom mornings for me.  I was feeling remnants of anger and frustration from an event the night before, and the scurry of the morning had further contributed to my agitation.

In my sinfulness, at a point along our drive during morning carpool, I pounded my hand hard on the steering wheel.  I spoke no words, but my action resounded loudly.

Immediately I felt shame and convicted by The Lord.  I had just modeled very ungodly behavior for my children. It threatened my “good mom righteousness,” (which is sinful in itself, but that is a whole other post!) and I felt condemned.

After the kids had gotten out of the car, I pulled over and prayed a prayer of repentance and then asked Jesus to help me rest under the warm, peaceful shade of the promise given in Isaiah 30:15~ In repentance and rest is your salvation.

After getting right with The Lord, I knew I had to apologize to my children.  Boy, that is a lot of fun! Humility is holy, but sometimes very hard.

I sent both kids a text that read: I modeled bad behavior for you this morning.  I am sorry I let the frustration in my heart show itself in my action this morning.  I have repented and asked Jesus for forgiveness.  I am also asking for forgiveness from both of you.  I was wrong, and that is why I need Jesus every day!  Love you both, Mom.

The Lord was merciful as He showed me there is good that comes even from my goof ups if I am seeking Him.  After repenting, I felt at peace.  God can bring redemption to every story in our book of life.  He showed me that sometimes my biggest mess ups are my best means to teach my children lessons of eternal value; such as repentance, prayer, and most importantly how much we all need a Savior!

Moms, give yourself a break.  Nowhere does it say we should be perfect, just progressing.  When your brokenness comes knocking, and it will, model for your children how to restore it in a way that redeems and glorifies the Lord.  Sometimes it is our biggest mistakes that convey our best messages when we frame them in the context of the gospel!

Perfectly imperfect,
D’Anna

Are We Living In Poverty or Provision

- dannalundstrom


The little girl took the bread and, crumb by crumb started eating it.  I said to her, “Eat, eat the bread.  You are hungry.”  And the little one looked at me and said, “I am afraid.  When the bread is finished, I will be hungry again.” (A story from the life of Mother Teresa).

This story not only pulls at my heart but rips it apart.  Sadly, though, when I minimize God and maximize fear, I am living in poverty just like the afraid little girl.  Fear says you cannot trust God for His provisions to be enough.  You do not have to be homeless and hungry to be impoverished.  When we do not feel secure, we live a small and static existence.  God invites us to enjoy a free and bold way of living because He alone is the grantor of our daily bread.

In what ways are you suffocating your life because you are afraid?  Will your life be derailed by fear or defined by faith?  The decision to choose faith, and be free to get out and live, love, leap, and lead is one we must make every day; in doing so, you will be amplifying The Father and annihilating fear.

Word of God Speak

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

I was having a conversation with God while driving down 280 yesterday.   I was praising him for finally breaking His silence and working in what has felt like a place I have been stuck for a long time.   As I was mentally speaking to Him, these beautiful words graced my mind;

“sometimes I leave you places not because it is the path of your destiny but the process of your destination.”  

Wow!   Thank you Jesus for loving me so personally!   He loves you that much, too, friends, but He cannot speak to you if you are not meeting Him daily in conversation.

A Beautiful Story

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

Her successes humbled her; she softly accepted them with gratitude.  Her wounds filled her heart with compassion, and she knew though painful, they would mature into wisdom that she would rely on to comfort others.  Both together wrote her story; the story she drew from to minister to others with gentleness and grace.  You, my dear, are a beautiful story with pages full of pleasure and pain that have formed your unique and eternal purpose.

Give Us This Day

- dannalundstrom

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…and give us THIS DAY our daily bread… Most of us learned the Lord’s Prayer as children.  But like many things I learned as a child, it was something I memorized and did not necessarily internalize.  The words were in my head, but the meaning was not in my heart.

It became apparent to me the last half decade of my life that I cannot be looking for “tomorrow’s bread” to sustain me today.

When I am searching for provision past the present, I am likely keeping company with anxiety, fear, and worry who are all known to avert me from the presence of today to the planning of tomorrow.

Tomorrow was never promised, so it is frivolous for me to waste my day, my energy or my mood trying to manage tomorrow.

This all sounds wise, but it is not always straightforward.  The Apostle Paul said he LEARNED to be content in all circumstances.  (Philippians 4:11). For me, learning is a life-long process of remembering, forgetting and remembering again.

 Every day I have to recommit to staying in the details of today and not staring at the destination of tomorrow.

Present living is challenging when I have concerning things on the horizon, but to be honest, I have learned anytime I am out of today and into tomorrow it is about me trying to control, and not letting God command.  Control is such a false imposture.  I was not in control yesterday, or today and if today should materialize into tomorrow I will still not be in control.  Fixing my eyes on tomorrow only holds me, hostage, today and robs me of the freedom found in the here and now.  May we all find rest today, and let God take care of everything beyond that should it be granted.

A New Year an Old You?

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

 

Indeed, it is the second day of 2016, and it seems as if everyone is talking about a new year, new you, new goals and even new happiness.  But you, you are lugging old crosses right across the old and into the “new” calendar.   There is illness still present that is old, not so new.   There are prodigal children and missing loved ones still pricking the old pain and seeming to prevent the new picture.   If only our hearts had zippers, so they didn’t have to be ripped out maybe the pain would be less, just maybe.

You cannot seem to shed the trials and a new year just feels like the continuation of past troubles.  Nothing new, nothing better, nothing changed, just the same struggles sabotaging your progress.

You look at others who seem to have it all, not a care in the world, and you feel discouraged.   Comparison is a free invitation for the thief to come in and send you further into distress.   Pain is not prejudiced but we forget that, feeling like only a few of the unlucky get chosen.

Friend, if you try and make one change in 2016, let it be your thinking.  Our thoughts are responsible for the stability of our souls.

We are only as healthy as how we think about our most challenging circumstance.

You may be lugging chronic challenges into a new year, but with significant obstacles come eternal opportunities to nurture a refined you.   It is not a date on a calendar that steers us in a fresh direction.  It is the desire of our hearts for a Savior that is the only one who can make all things new.  (Revelation 21:5)   Do not look at dates and set deadlines for out with the old and in with the new.   Our plans are perishable, but the will of the Lord stands forever.

There is nothing wrong with setting goals, but if it is our responsibility alone to obtain these objectives, we are creating a set up for disappointment.  

We must hold our ideas with free hands, not firm hearts.

We are only as strong as our understanding of our dependence on a Savior outside of ourselves, our doctors, our pastors, counselors, self-help books and the list goes on.   If we are placing our hope in where instead of Who we will remain in a vortex of despair.

You will prosper from your pain.   If not now, someday soon.   If we do not believe that, (Romans 8:28), life becomes void of hope.   Hope is a beautiful burden.  Why not focus on the beautiful?   Isaiah 40:31 ~ but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

You are loved friend.

A Love to 2015

- dannalundstrom

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As the hours of another year fade, I am thinking about the things, the hard ones, that I would have never chosen in 2015, but they chose me.   They brought much grief but were always accompanied by gratitude.

Our years are made of days, some ordinary and some extraordinary.   Those days, the ordinary and the extraordinary, occasionally conquer but also create us.   They sometimes shatter us but subsequently sharpen us.   We experience triumphs, and we endure tragedies.   Some days break us only to build us. Days can be messy but NOT without meaning.   Refinement and restoration marry well with an available heart.

The self-reliant use tallies of good and bad days to calculate the success of their year.   It is perspective and the pursuit of meaning and quality of growth amidst days, broken and beautiful, that the surrendered use to measure theirs.   May I always evaluate my years from a position of obedience to the word, not obtainments of the world.

This year has felt like another year of wandering in the Psalms for me.   I have been desperate, and I have been dependent.   I have lamented, and I have praised.   The year cultivated both difficult and defining memories. It was pretty, and it was painful.   I have learned that all years are as long as we are living under the sun.

2015 was a reminder that the goal of life is not happiness because it is not happiness that brokers comfortable homes; but joy outside of circumstances found in a Savior that breeds content hearts.
I am reflecting on all the fragments of the past year, the brutal and the beautiful, and placing them within the context of Romans 8:28 today. ~And we know that God causes everything to work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I can find meaning in much of the messiness, but there are other situations; however, I am still waiting.   I am aware as Deuteronomy 29:29 tells me, I may never understand.   Some things are only to be known by The Lord.   Many circumstances are unfair. I am tempted to wonder how God could be working right from something seemingly so wrong?   It is here that I must exercise unreasonable faith, not in circumstances I see but in a creator, I trust.   I am slow to submit daily my exclusory perspective to God’s eternal plan.   It is here, in the stuck places, I have to put away all the “whys” and rest in Who.   I do not say this lightly because this is a difficult assignment, but we are not called to an assurance of facts, but an acceptance of our Father.

We can view life through skeptical-glasses or Savior-glasses.   It is a choice and a very crucial one. 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011… They all had obstacles that shook and shaped me; not to my final destination but towards my desired direction.   It has been those dreaded moments, the broken ones, that have rendered the sweetest fruit. So while some are saying so long 2015, I cannot wait to forget you; I am saying may I always remember you.

Meaning is often disguised within the parameters of messy.   Jesus was born in the most unclean of environments.   Isn’t it beautiful how the sloppiest of circumstances can become sacred.   Jesus was crucified and suffered a painful death with the intent to secure the salvation of a sinner like me.   It is no wonder that pain is piercing, but priceless because our eternity was founded on that principal.

Thank you 2015 for all the opportunities you provided God to prune and protect me.   Thank you for all the sorrow that stretched me.   Growth is most fertile when planted in the soil of grief.   Thank you for the tears of pain and the tears of joy.   Thank you for the portraits of beauty and the scribbles of brokenness. Mostly 2015, thank you for transporting me deeper into a relationship with my Savior.

Welcome, 2016.   I know your terrain will be one indigenous of peaks and valleys.   I also know it is my triumphs over your tribulations that are for my growth and God’s glory.   May I be a good steward of all you behold, the pleasant and the unpleasant.   This year, nor any ahead, as I have finally learned, will I evaluate by happiness or success, but holiness and stewardship of the shattered and the shiny moments that meet me down roads I do not yet know I will travel.   What a blessing to enter a new year given the grace to understand that!

Happy New Year to all. May you be rich enough to embrace prosperity and rattled enough to experience your Savior.   Holiest of New Years, friends.

Heart Reformations

- dannalundstrom

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My success rate with New Year resolutions is 0%; therefore, I am not a fan!   I have been “planning” consistent commitment to exercise for more than half my life.   That goal was just a picture absent of prayer that bred exhausted expectations void of any rewarding realizations.   Healthy resolutions will not prosper without heart reformations.   I do not need a new year to be a new me, and neither do you.   We can be made new any day, any month and any year when it is not about us who corrects our habits, but He who changes our heart.   Progress only thrives in the shadows of prayer, and growth is granted under the wings of grace.   Without turning over control from self to Savior resolutions become rejections and dates breed despair.   Results come from my Provider, not my power and by His appointments not my agenda.   1 John 4:4…for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.