ISIS, Ebola, Enterovirus, missing airliners, mystery stomach bug…Lord each day we wake to new seeds of fear being planted by news outlets, and subsequently spread through social media. These worries and concerns become fertilizers for growth of fear in our concerned and protective hearts. Assist us in finding that healthy space of being informed but not infiltrated, because this world is too heavy for us, but not for you. When we allow information to become infatuation, remind us Father that it is rooted in an unbelief of your sovereignty. You are surprised by nothing, and never caught off guard. Give us the grace to place our world and loved ones in your capable hands, and not our controlling ones. I ask that you continue to gaze upon our country, other countries and all those we love with merciful eyes. May we all be missionaries of peace graced with the message of faith in the midst of so much worldly fear.
This is a patchwork quit that was made for me by a very special lady who now quilts, sews, bedazzles everything, and likely plays cards in Heaven. She made one for everyone she loved. I love this quilt, and many days I find refuge under it from cold, exhaustion or just the weight of what the day has supplied. It is warm and insulating, and when blanketed in it, I feel safe, secure, and like I am reminiscing with happy places, and some sad places of years gone by.
I was laying under this quilt with Macey last night, as she was telling me a story. A story that was a piece of her, and letting it go set a little part of her heart free. As she talked I began noticing each distinct square of the quilt. They are all individual. Not one is the exact same. Some may resemble, but each one has it’s own unique character. Each square, if it could talk, I imagine would tell a story.
People are a lot like patchwork quilts. Everyone has a story. Some very tragic, some triumphant, many perpetually present. No two people’s stories are exactly identical, and no two people come through a story with the same experience to tell. We all reflect an individual character that like a patchwork quilt was carefully handpicked, each and every part, and delicately sewn together to make up who we are. Those parts of us, along with the roads we travel in life make up our stories, our own unique quilts. Our stories, like patchwork quilts, are meant to be shared, and given away for the benefit of others. It is in their revealing that we not only give, but gain comfort, protection, freedom, connection, healing and friendship. 2 Corinthians 1:4 ~He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
It is the painful stories, the ones that scar our souls, that are often kept hidden under all the make shift patchwork quilts we can acquire. The detriment of this is that it is those very stories, the ones we want to hide, that possess just as much potential, if not more, than the ones we are eager to tell. The real tragedy is not bound to the story itself, but the concealing of it, which leaves us hostage to its control.
Our lives are a series of stories, that if we cut apart and sewed together, would make a beautiful patchwork quilt. Some squares would be prettier than others, but they would all be necessary to complete the quilt. One thing is for sure, each square of our quilt embodies a valuable story full of precious life lessons. Those stories, like patchwork quilts, were not meant to be hidden away in dark places where they become collectors of dust, rendered useless by the dark room they inhabit. They were intended for connecting in order to create something beautiful.
In setting our stories free, we set ourselves free. Even our darkest experiences manifest beams of light waiting to be turned into, and told as a testimony. All darkness is impenetrable by light. It is only the presence of light that makes it possible to visualize the beauty that the darkness conceals.
Courage is sometimes having the strength to let your light shine through darkness, and tell your truth so to create community with others and healing communion with your soul. It is there in that community and communion that we can begin to let our lights shine, and sew our patchwork quilts free in order that they may tell the tale of our beautifully, broken journey. A journey that holds so much pain and poise, graces and grievances, wins and losses.
Like a lighthouse on a lonely, battered island, hidden by the fog and rain of a heavy storm, our stories are persistently lit, and beckoning us toward the light. No one lights a lamp, and then hides it or puts it under a basket. Instead a lamp is placed on a stand, where its light can be seen by all who enter the house.~Luke 11:33 You don’t have to share it with the world, but share it with your people-your safe community. It will be told one way or another, by healthy or unhealthy means, so set yourself free.
It was exactly 5 weeks ago yesterday that Carter’s accident occurred, and our family began a new journey carved out of crisis. The definition of crisis is: A crucial or decisive point or situation, especially a difficult or unstable situation involving an impending change. It is the very identity of the word that sheds light on our fate of victim or victor. A crisis diverges into two roads, and the direction we walk either creates or conquers us.
There is so much potential, opportunity and beauty that can be born out of crisis. It is something most dread. None of us would choose it, but unfortunately it sometimes chooses us. It’s where we react from when our name is called that writes our story of one who soared or succumbed. It is not the strength of our faith, or the amount of knowledge we possess, but Who possesses us that determines our destiny as we travel through a crisis.
Today Carter was in the neuropsychologists office for 6.5 hours of cognitive testing. I picked him up at 11:30 for an hour lunch break. He ate about five bites of food, and immediately fell asleep in the car. He was huddled in the seat with the sun piercing the windows shining warmly on his face. It had been 2.5 hours into his day and he was exhausted. The taxing of his mind in that short time was a lofty challenge.
Before falling asleep he told me: my eyes hurt, I feel pressure in my head and my vision is blurry. He said it all from behind the voice of one trying to hold it all in, but tainted with the sound of tears. I knew that sound. He could not hide it. Not from me. Not from me who knows him so well. So he released it all bravely, and then he was rescued by a deep, desperate sleep.
Isn’t that an organic picture of life? We try to hold it all in, and conceal that which opposes us. We try hard, and then a little harder to not be found. Then there comes a point when we are pinned under the pressure of the fire we are walking through, and we release it in a spewing of toxic ash that has been brewing under the surface. It is in those times, when we let ourselves be fully known that we can be fully loved. It is those moments of true identity and authenticity that afford us the pacifying balm that our true self longs for everyday. It’s in the most desperate moments that we are most receptive to receiving the mending, and comfort of Jesus, who already knows us just as we are anyway.
Masking of inadequacies only delays His refurbishment. We live in a world that is in the business of replacing all that is broken, but Jesus is in the business of restoration. It was right there in my car today that Carter was allowed to fall apart and risk being fully recognized. It was also there in that hot, cramped parking lot of his favorite burger place that I was reminded that this is how it goes. We carry things far too long. We shoulder burdens and limitations that we were never meant to bear. Why do we delay our recovery so long?
There comes moments in this life when it takes more courage to fall apart in the presence of someone who loves us than it does to keep it all together. At the heart of us all we just really want to be seen, heard and understood.
Today, again was a call to trust in our Savior who in His timing restores, and makes all things strong and steadfast. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.~1 Peter 5:10
Restoration rarely happens how we envision it, and never as timely as we would like, but all good things have to happen on a timetable that is outside of ourselves. Overseen and orchestrated by The One who knitted us together, every little detail, with his soft and sovereign hands.
I am thankful for those moments when courage wins. I am thankful for glimpses of Carter’s true struggle today. I pray as he matures that he will become more and more comfortable shedding the layers of protection and trading them in for the acceptance and love that transparency affords. It is in our purest identity that we are open to the most beautiful of possibility. May we all embrace those things that embattle us. We were given them for a reason, a resource and as a bridge for restoration. Much love and thankfulness for all of your prayers and support in so many ways.
So this was asked in a private message sent to me: How can you be so comfortable just putting it all out there?
Well, I thank the friend who messaged me this question. I was going to respond to you individually, but this is actually the third rendition I have received of the same question.
In light of depression and suicide being in the spotlight again, it is a very worthy question, and I do not take any offense to it. The first thing I want to say is, I don’t put it all out there, but I am happy to share with any of you if you would like to have coffee with me.
Secondly, we all have our struggles and challenges: me, you, your neighbor, your counselor, your preacher-everyone! Silencing our struggles only imprisons us in shame and isolation, opening the door for dangerous assailants like fear, anxiety and depression.
Struggle, pain, difficult times are a common thread that connect us all, and hiding our pain was never how Jesus intended us to live. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says…He comforts us in all our affliction so we may comfort others in their time of need. We are to take that which challenges us, and use it to encourage and comfort our brothers and sisters.
I am so thankful for the people in my life who do this for me. They show me Jesus everyday through their words, actions, kindness and love. I could not manage this life without them. Maybe I’m wrong, but I cannot think that you are that different from me. We are all really more alike than different.
Our vulnerability is the greatest gift we have to offer each other. Embracing transparency frees us from a life of isolation, and the exhaustion of trying to appear like we have it all together. Transparency is contagious and liberating because it gives other’s permission to be “normal.”
We need to walk this beautifully, broken life with each other well. I cannot do that if am not willing to give up my need to manage what people think of me, and to have an appearance of an “all together” life. We are all only accountable to One. He accepts us just as we are-broken. This frees me to “just put it all out there,” because nothing you or anyone else thinks about me affects my standing with the only One who matters. He has already sealed my destiny, and I am completely secure under the shelter of his righteousness.
So I guess to answer my friend’s question more briefly; I can risk transparency, because I have nothing to loose, and so much freedom, connection and friendship to gain. Life is so much lighter when we allow our challenges to connect rather than control us.
Friends,
We had a very long and overwhelming appointment today at the Traumatic Brain Injury Clinic at Children’s Hospital. Carter has recovered very well physically, and he looks great on the outside. That is what is so hard-the outside does not match the inside-yet. He seems fine to the eye, but there is so much more going on that most don’t see.
Carter has very poor insight into his deficits. He thinks he is ok. That is really a difficult challenge in many ways. He is still very restricted in his activities and this is causing agitation. It is a challenge to take almost all things away from an active teen. We learned some more information today, but still have some blank spaces because he is still too early out to thoroughly assess.
Carter is still having some problems with his vestibular system which is affecting his balance, but mostly his eyes. He is very delayed in tracking and focusing. His eyes are still very “lazy” and tired. He cannot maintain focus on an object for long, and he cannot track to the periphery very well.
He is still also exhibiting some moderate memory deficits, but we will not be able to have further clarification of that and other cognitive functions for a couple more weeks when he has recovered further and can tolerate more testing.
Dr. Davis at the TBI clinic is wonderful and prescribed a medication to help with attention, concentration, anxiety and agitation that are stemming from the brain injury. Also, Carter will start speech therapy in two to three weeks for cognitive rehabilitation, as well as continue with PT for his shoulder and vestibular deficits.
We now have a case worker which is a HUGE praise! She will be attending a meeting at the school with me tomorrow as Carter’s advocate. Hopefully we can all agree upon a plan for what his limited school days will look like for now. Carter has A LOT of restrictions as far as school…delayed start, no homework, limited reading, no computers or viewing projected images, no PE, no presence in the cafeteria, gym or crowded hallways, and 2 rest breaks despite going half days. This seems impossible. The doctor said it will be a challenge because he will have to for now be a “passive learner.” I am not sure how this is going to look, or even work, but I don’t feel the need to try and figure it out. I am not Carter’s Savior, and remembering that is a very good and healthy thing for me right now, and always. Although it all looks complicated, and frankly overwhelming, Dr. Davis thought it would be best to give it a try, because being around friends and peers is very important for emotional health when recovering from a TBI.
It will just be one day at a time right now, reminding myself I don’t have to figure anything but the next right step out. The doctor told us as parents Carter will improve more, but due to some pre-existing deficits which have now been exacerbated by the head injury that “this will be a long term parent-child relationship.” Not that all parent child relationships aren’t long term, but we knew what he was implying. The thing I know, though, he may very well be right, and that will be perfectly fine, but no one knows the plans of The Lord, and I will never impose premature restrictions on Carter that are based on medical science or opinion, rather than faith in a God who can do ALL things that science nor man can explain!
I have been reminded of two very important things the last two weeks. First, it is so important to have key scriptures stored in my mind and on my heart, so that I can draw upon them for comfort, security, strength and peace when rough waters threaten to engulf me. Having that “mana for my soul” has pulled me through, and continues to support me in dark moments.
Secondly, the importance of having a very grounded faith that takes command of my thoughts, mind, beliefs and actions in times when fear and anxiety are waiting with open arms. I feel overwhelmed today. I feel a little scared and anxious. Fear and anxiety are easier choices sometimes because they require nothing of me but to fall into their embrace, and marinate in self pity, and possibly a bucket of mint chip ice cream-:)). Faith in God’s perfect plan and sovereignty is a much harder choice because it is a fight. It requires me moment by moment to choose faith over fear, abidance over anxiousness, peace over planning and rest over reaction. It is a harder choice, but it is the best choice, and the only one that provides peace from heavy burdens! Anyone can choose fear. Anyone can choose faith. They are both a choice. A lot of things can be taken from us, but never our ability to choose between those two things. God grant me the grace and strength to always choose faith! It is where I desire to abide, and it is the only choice that allows me to be insulated by peace and rest.
Thank you friends for all the love you are providing us in so many ways. I am more grateful than I have adequate words for!
Sometimes in my pursuit of “normal,” I blind myself to the precious gifts found in that which is “different.”
This is a “different” day. It’s the first day of school for Macey,(8th), and the first day, “of not the first day of school” for Carter,(9th). It’s different!
I think it’s not uncommon that “different” is not thought of as good, better and definitely not best. It is something often brushed off and used to define things that make us uncomfortable or nervous about acknowledging and even embracing.
Today, I am very appreciative of the opportunity to welcome and embrace “different.” We are going to celebrate “different” today at The Egg and me for breakfast. This is how Carter asked to spend his first morning of his not first day of school.
I am reminded that “normal” can be such a place of false security and perceived social acceptability that I can strive for, that I exclude the possibilities, miracles, and treasures found in “different.” “Different” is beautiful. “Different” opens my eyes to an abundance of new miracles that my view of “normal” excludes. Welcoming “different” supplies a precious fountain of gratitude that cannot be found in “normal.” If things are always “normal,” we can never know different, and if we never have the opportunity to encounter all the faces of different, we can never fully understand how blessed we are, and what matters most in this life.
Today “different” feels strange but definitely sacred. It feels foreign yet fortunate. It is the marrying of so many emotions that are all legitimate but overshadowed by such gratitude for what is, in light of what could have been. “Different” is a unique dwelling where both grief and gratitude co-exist. It is an odd place that is unexplainable, just experiential.
Two weeks ago today began a fast, furious and frightening journey. I am so thankful today to be sitting here at breakfast with Carter in an atmosphere that may be “different” but definitely delightful. I am so abundantly grateful for all the miracles and blessings that have emerged from that place of frantic uncertainty. Lastly, I feel very fortunate to experience yet another facet of “different.” It makes me more aware, amazed, awestruck, and more grateful for the example of Jesus who was the most loyal friend of “different.” Here is our “different,” “first day of not the first day of school” picture. I am so grateful for this picture, and for all of you who have prayed and continue praying for Carter’s recovery.
Below is a post I wrote on June 3, 2014. I did not go into specifics at that time, but it had to do with different school plans we had for Carter that at the last minute fell through. I was pretty upset at the unexpected, abrupt redirection of our, (emphasis on the word our), plan for him.
Basically he was accepted to a smaller, private school and we were all set, in our minds. When I went to turn in his acceptance letter which had already been extended, and pay the enrollment fee, I was told he would not be able to go there due to some academic concerns.
I am telling you all this to illustrate a very important point. At times what seems like our great misery, turns out to be God’s mercy. When a door is closed, it is upsetting to us because we only see the bottom step, God sees the whole staircase. In light of what has happened with Carter’s accident, our original school plan would not of worked out. It would of added a lot more weight to my load now if I was having to reconfigure plans after his accident right before school starts.
Romans 8:28 has continuously emerged as a thread of truth over the last 12 days in our family. It holds true again in that circumstance: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Providential redirection is rarely fun, but it is always for our good. Sometimes we understand it in this life, and sometimes we don’t. The times we are fortunate to understand, give us the confidence and faith for the times we may never understand. It is situations like this that have allowed me to learn and know the character of a faithful and loving God who holds our lives in His capable, caring hands. Here is what I wrote on that day when my vision was slight, and God’s was sovereign, as it always is.
June 3, 2014
Yesterday was a rough day, today will be a good day. I was painfully reminded of this verse yesterday: Proverbs 16:9~ In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. As a mom we pray, research, investigate…what is best for our kids, and then we plan for them accordingly. I forgot in my planning, and subsequently “sealing of the deal” in my mind, nothing is ever permanent or guaranteed, (even when you have it in writing), except the will of God. When we hold our plans too tightly in our hands, it can really shake us when those paths are providentially re-directed. A potter works his masterpiece with skilled hands, applying just the right amount of pressure at the right time. If squeezed too hard, the clay begins to twist, or in potters language, torque.The key is knowing just the right amount of pressure to apply and when. If the potter grasps the piece too firmly with both hands and holds on tightly during the perfecting, molding process, it will not turn out as he planned. Life is a lot like that, too. We must hold all our plans loosely in our hands so that God can change, refine and perfect them with his accurate hands, not ours. I forget so easily when I forget I’m not in control.
We just got home from a day of doctor appointments that started at 8:30 AM. I am not going to tell you I’m not tired. I’m not going to tell you I’m not a little weary or sad. I am all those things. I don’t have it all together, but I know I don’t have to. I have a Savior who has completed me in all the spaces I am weak, and they are many…I am weak but He is strong… I don’t need to know anything beyond the next right thing to do in this moment because after today, everything feels a little overwhelming to stare at too long. Looking anywhere beyond the present only offers me an unsettled mind and unbelieving heart.
When things are hard, when our expectations are threatened or overturned, it is easy to turn our life over to the wrong trinity-fear, anxiety and worry. I have been under that authority before, but I will not go there again. Being intentional about facing challenges, but not focusing on them will be essential for all of us during Carter’s recovery.
I am, however, mourning a few things today, but I am standing under God’s grace, and mourning is ok for a time. Psalm 30:5~ weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. It is hard as a mom to sit and watch your child’s face when he is hearing some of the things he heard today. It is hard to watch him absorb the reality of likely loosing activities he loves, and that bring him joy. I know there are many parents who are, or have experienced this feeling, and much worse. My heart goes out to you!
Because of Carter’s head injury, he does not understand a lot of this process, and his insight into his deficits is limited. At my age, I can reason and realize that life is pinned on so much more than starting school as a “normal” kid with a normal schedule. I can understand that when God redirects my plans or takes away something that brings me great joy, he has a better path in mind. Carter cannot at this point, and as I watched his face today, my heart broke. There is so much to be grateful for, but there is also a lot that he will have to adapt to.
Physically he is doing great, but there are implications from the head trauma he sustained internally that are going to present challenges ahead, and possibly limit activities that bring him great pleasure. I need to mourn this for a short time, and help him to as well, but then I hope to help him redirect his hope and focus to not what is lost, but what is to be gained.
I have heard it said that we should not only ask what would Jesus do, but equally as important, WHAT IS JESUS DOING? This question affords me such hopeful anticipation because I know He is good and He is steadfast. Lamentations 3:22-23 ~Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
In God’s economy, doors do not close accidentally. I do not believe any of this came from God, but it did come through him. That gives me great hope that he has plans our insufficient minds cannot perceive for Carter. There is such relief and hope in that perspective. ~For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.!Isaiah 43:19
There are so many positives that came out of today. Carter continues to improve. His headaches are better. His balance is good, and his vision has improved significantly. He can walk, talk, smile, laugh, see and hear normally-praise The Lord. We met with Dr Joe Ackerson today who provided balm for this messy mom’s soul. He did some cognitive testing with Carter today, but will need to do much more in two weeks. Today he is writing a plan for school that he will have to us by the days end. This will detail what his school days will look like for now. They will be limited and Carter will have a lot of modifications and restrictions. Dr. Ackerson was wonderful with Carter, and he was wonderful with us as parents. He assured us confidently that he is here to walk this road with us and be Carter’s advocate.
Carter will be assigned a case worker from Children’s who will also help us work with the school to ensure he is getting everything he needs. Trevor and I stopped at the high school between appointments today, and we have a meeting tomorrow with a team who will be working with us on all school related logistics. We were very grateful that a meeting was arranged by the school so quickly. Since school starts Monday, having a plan initiated is a great relief for us and Carter.
When things look dark, there is always light to be found. I am going to be having Carter around a lot more for now. In looking at the positive of that, I am so thankful! I enjoy his company. He is funny and we laugh a lot. I feel so blessed that he will be keeping me company for awhile.
Today we also saw the neurosurgeon, and he has set Carter up in the traumatic brain injury clinic at Children’s Hospital. Dr Davis will manage his care there, and he and Dr. Ackerson will collaborate together. He too, will be joining with us as we navigate this current state of “normal.” The presence of these two advocates feels like such an immense weight lifted off my heart. Carter will continue PT twice a week for his shoulder as well. He is not using that arm very well, and still has a good bit of pain. It will eventually recover fully, but it is going to take some time.
There is no way to determine the recovery of the loss of cognitive function, but we stand firmly confident that Carter will be restored to his pre-accident status. Regardless, our hope does not hinge on the degree of his recovery, but on the sovereignty of The Author of his life. God is in the midst of writing this story, and has been since the moment Carter sat on that bike. We stand fully confident in His plans, and less in His provisions, because we have experienced and know His character. Thank you all from the deepest places of my heart for the continued outpouring of prayer, love and support.
We got Carter out this evening to get some fresh air and out of a dark room. He is still a little woozy eyed but his face lesions are miraculously almost undetectable. We are learning with a head injury you have to learn to laugh a lot, expect the unexpected, and turn the shock meter way down, ok sometimes totally off! Carter’s filter is a little “clogged up.” I’m learning to roll with it, and laugh instead of blushing in horror. It’s either laugh or cry, and the world needs a little more laughter.
1 Chronicles 16:24 says: Declare his glory among the nations, His marvelous works among all people.
On July 28, 2014, I was sitting in a BBQ restaurant in Houston, Texas with my parents, daughter, and sister. At 6:26 PM I received a text message that at first I thought was a terrible joke, until I realized it wasn’t. I saw words my heart could not absorb after I read my son’s name…badly injured, serious, airlifted, intubated. The words hit me hollow and numb for a moment, and then left me heavy and overwhelmed with shock and grief. Amidst my weeping, all I could think about was getting to my child, but that was not possible until the afternoon of the next day. My husband’s phone could not make calls because of the remote location, but for some reason he could text. I received this picture after reading those dreaded words.
The next morning, July 29, I boarded a flight from Houston to Portland, OR where Carter was in The Oregon Health Science Center Trauma ICU Unit. Upon boarding the plane, I was devastated and trying to come to grips with the reality of turning my phone off for 4 hours. Also, I am what you would call a recovering “white knuckle flier.” There was a time I would take Benadryl or an anxiety medication before I would fly. It was not until a few years ago, I discovered meditating on scripture, praying and listening to worship music were my best antidotes for peaceful air travel. Their benefits are endless; they are fast acting, and they do not have a short life expectancy or unwanted side effects like many medications do.
That morning I was an emotional mess. Things were touch and go with Carter, and I was very upset about the length of the flight because I would be unable to get updates. I just wanted to get to him, and a long plane flight only added agitation to my distressed soul. As we boarded and took off, I felt such a heavy weight in my heart, and I prayed for The Lord to help me release my fears and anxieties into his care. I specifically asked Him to put a circle of protection around the plane and for comfort and peace to endure this arduous plane ride not knowing what would await me upon landing on the other side of the country.
Moments after praying, I looked out my window. Just below me, I saw an airplane and it frightened me. I was so fearful that it overshadowed the beauty and perspective of what was right before my eyes. In my inadequacy, I did not initially see the rainbow that encircled the airplane. I only saw the plane. I did not recognize it was the shadow of the airplane I was on. It was so clear and real that I believed it was another plane that looked as if it was on a collision course with us.
Is that not what fear does to us? It blinds us to the beauty, miracles and reality of what is because we are too busy worrying about what might be. I look back now, and I was like the disciples in the boat when Jesus was walking to them on water. (Matthew 14:22-33) They were afraid and could not immediately see the miracle because they were frozen by their fear. I later realized that was me! I was witnessing the greatest gift, which I almost missed because I was focusing on the worry of my situation instead of the wonder of my Savior.
This very special gift from The Lord is now a reminder to me that fear only causes us to abandon faith. When we desert faith, we are minimizing our view to what the things and people of this world have to offer, and that is a minuscule and frail perspective.
Below is a picture of what I saw that July, morning. I did not take the picture, because I was so overcome initially by fear, and then God’s faithfulness when I realized what I was seeing that I could not react to get my camera. This is exactly what I saw just out my window below me and in front of the plane’s engine.
This extraordinary event was God’s message to me that morning: I have you right in the center of my protective hands, and you shall not be afraid. I will keep you right here and carry you safely to your son. This is a covenant I am making to you. This was one of the best gifts I have ever received, and I will never forget it or cease to be amazed by God’s genuine display of love shown to me that morning.
That night I began searching the scriptures for any reference to a circle rainbow. To my amazement, I found it in Revelation 4:3 ~ The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones—like jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow. (NLT) I am not able to adequately describe the awe I felt when I read that verse. It reaffirmed even more The Lord’s presence with me that morning.
I am always looking for evidence of The Lord around me. Often I see His fingerprints everywhere throughout my days; little reminders He is there. However, it is not as frequent that I see his handprints; the incredible displays of His omnipresence. How sweet of Him to visibly show up for me in such a glorious way in my desperate hour of need. He is God and He is always good!
