What am I going to do?  How am I going to handle this?  Several times over the last two weeks I have caught myself asking these questions.  I didn’t realize there is a niche of narcissism hidden in my heart until exposed by my thought pattern.

Every time my mind defaulted to one of those questions, I received a question back.  Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness!  The responses to my questions were a unified theme-ME.  “What are YOU going to do?”  “How are YOU going to handle this?”

Do you see my problem here?  I was exalting myself and excluding God.  

Also, in those moments of fear, my first line of defense was panic instead of prayer.  When I am under pressure, I easily forget the Source of my security. Control, micromanagement, and self-reliance are such insidious impostures that lead me down a path planned by my flesh instead of a passage paved by my Father.

I am grateful for the reminder that it was time for a self-demotion in exchange for a Savior promotion.  

Life is so much lighter when I settle into my designed role as a child of a Father, who knows and controls all things.  My planning hands rarely prosper, and life becomes futile; it is when I leave room for God to mold my purpose that living becomes fruitful.

Father, remind all your children who need to remember when we are prone to fighting for ourselves that Jesus’ victory belongs to us.  In all the ways, we deceive ourselves into believing we are in control, whisper that peaceful word that is too elusive in our hearts and minds-rest.  May we lay down all our plans, schemes and weapons intended to forge our plans for life and remember that You have already written our entire story with Your Sovereign Hands.  Father, I confess, I get overwhelmed by demanding days; tempting me to maximize myself and minimize you.  When I do this, chaos becomes my company, fear becomes my friend and anxiety becomes my advisor.  Quickly convict my heart and direct me back to Your promises, the only resivor of rest for riddled ragamuffins like me.  Amen.