The Freedom of Self-Forgiveness

- dannalundstrom

Dear friend,

Do you need to forgive yourself for a mistake but you cannot seem to find the freedom to do so despite your aching desire? If God has forgiven you and me, and He should be the only person that matters, why is it so hard for us to do?
I think sometimes it is easier for me to feel shame or flagrant self-pity, which are both convincing imposters of comfort. Other times I am prone to unconsciously acquiesce to the faulty theology that God does not freely forgive me when I repent and ask for forgiveness.

My unbelief leads me to trust it comes when I earn it when I have worked hard enough when I have paid what I deem to be a reasonable penalty when I have beat myself up enough and more self-imposed modes of retribution, none of which ever are enough. Notice the word; I was used five times in the preceding sentence. Therein lies my problem. I maximize my faulty resourcefulness and minimize my Savior’s free reward. God’s love and forgiveness never change, my remembrance to rest in that truth does.

I love today’s wisdom from Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest: “The message of the prophets is that although they have forsaken God, it has not altered God. The Apostle Paul emphasizes the same truth that God remains God even when we are unfaithful (see 2 Timothy 2:13). Never interpret God as changing with our changes. He never does; there is no variableness in Him.”

Isaiah 30:15 is critical for me to turn towards and commit to daily, repeating it to myself, sometimes out loud, to “train my brain” to default there instead of destructing elsewhere. It says: For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said: “In repentance and rest you will be saved, In quietness and trust is your strength.”
One parallel verse is Isaiah 45:22 ~ Turn to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. Those two verses, along with multitudes of others are like the cover of a shady tree on a sweltering day. So often the help I need is readily available to me, I am just slow to remember it as my first line of defense instead of my last lane of desperation.  

God’s light is always on.

You are loved.

The Light

- dannalundstrom

It appears there are two, but there are four.

Darkness skews our vision.

Deceives us.

Lies.

It masks reality.

When it feels like there is only darkness around you and before you, remember the light is always behind you.

Shining.

Guiding.

Supporting.

Lighting the way.

Leading to paths of rest, redemption and righteousness.

Don’t give up.

The darkness, no matter how deceptive it is, will never extinguish the hope that is exclusive to the Light.

Leave Your Fear At The Door And Bring Facts To The Table

- dannalundstrom
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This is the truth.  We have to trade in our comfort for connection otherwise our relationships are superficial at best.  No one wins in a relationship that is not marked by transparency.
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We are all more alike than we are different.  Vulnerability sets captives free, us and the person or individuals sharing.
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Me too.  I understand.  I have been there.  I struggle with that too.  These are some of the most life-giving words, we can extend to others.
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And if we do not identify with their particular struggle, a clear understanding that we ourselves are flawed and in need of a Rescuer allows us to listen to the hurting with humility and lend compassion in the presence of another’s cross.
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I have many battles I face day to day, some old and others new.  Sometimes it is just as simple yet as difficult as staying in the present and managing my mind from straying off to toxic thoughts.  Every time I need to give my obstacles to The Lord, and at points, the sheer weight of their nature requires that I also enlist a trusted friend.
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Again and again, I have sat before a friend, fenced in by fear and stained with shame.  And you know what?  When I choose the right confidant, I always leave a little freer.
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An integral part of being free is leaving fear at the door and bringing facts clothed in faith to the table.
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Dr. Larry Crabb acknowledges that we never arrive in this life, but as followers of Christ, we are inching more and more, day by day towards Him.
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Photo credit to Life Church, Oklahoma.

Standing In The Storm

- dannalundstrom

To be alive is to know pain and heartache. Life gives us many trials, and often they are more significant than our mind and bodies can endure. If we spend too much time looking at the storms, we will drown. We do have to acknowledge them, and sometimes even stand in the very vortex of them, but we do not have to be swallowed up by them. We can choose to fix our attention on something higher.

As an ice skater must set her sight on an unchanging, reliable point when she is spinning to maintain stability; we too must set our eyes on a never-changing rock that anchors us amidst the battering waves of life’s adversity. It is where we fix our gaze that is the determining factor for our level of peace.

Sometimes if we are honest, there can be comfort in the storms, and we find it much easier to reside there.

Impostures thrive in darkness.

We must fight to keep our eyes locked on The Light. Fight for eternal not earthly sight, friends.

Our vision shapes our perspective and our perspective, our thoughts. It is so crucial that we are good managers of our minds, for as the mind regards, the man responds.

For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. ~2 Corinthians 4:18

This hope is a secure and trustworthy anchor for our souls. ~ Hebrews 6:19

Different But Doable

- dannalundstrom

My eyes are not the same. One eye is more prominent, the other eye has the sharper vision, and they have always been this way. My ears are different. I have a divot in the upper lobe of my right ear. My left ear is a little lower. My left leg is shorter than my right. My fingers on my right hand are thicker than the ones on my left. My right hand is dominant over the left and stronger as well. My left arm aches from time to time, but never my right arm. I have hip issues/pain with my right hip. My left hip works well.

My point is both sides are not in accord in one body, so imagine two or more. Both act and function differently than the other. Although there are aches, pains, weaknesses, and incongruences, it is possible to continue working together to get their respective jobs done.

People, whether two or many rarely see eye to eye, but there does not have to be unanimous cohesion for unity to thrive. Looks do not have to match for love to live. Beliefs do not have to line up for peace to prevail. Matching matters do not have to abandon maturity. Wisdom can overrule will.

We the body of Christ, and American citizens of every race and ethnicity can learn a lot from the differences within ourselves. No two people or parties have to always concur for civility and change, purpose and progress to reign. Binary agendas are not a prerequisite for our appreciation and acceptance of one another.

Punctured but Purposeful

- dannalundstrom

I have a terrible sense of direction, so I use my GPS a lot. Many times, even with its guidance, I still get lost or take a wrong turn. The beauty of another force guiding me is that when I lose my way, it immediately says rerouting and sets me back on course.

Sometimes I travel down wrong roads. Often I travel far in a wrong direction, and I feel too lost to find my way out. Sometimes I make poor choices that at the time of choosing seemed right, but the outcome turned out unfavorable. Other times I may not be happy with where or who I am at a given time.

The beauty of an adopted child of God is this, what appears irrevocable is ALWAYS redeemable. That does not always mean without consequences but disguised in the shadows of every ramification, no matter how dark, is a ray of light seizable for sincere hearts. I can plan my paths, but God guides my ways. When I run ahead of Him, I quickly become lost. Thankfully, when I stop and surrender to Him, He is faithful to reroute me, putting me back on track.

I cannot always choose what happens to me, and I will always make mistakes. The good news is, though I am a broken cistern, God has a habit of giving purpose to the punctured.

I, nor you would be human if we did not feel and grieve the pain of life. Feeling is part of healing but so is in due time rising from the wreckage waving a banner that says victor, not victim. Broken but better. Lost but found. Shackled but set free. Embattled but embraced.

Being saved is a one-time event, but living saved is a daily choice. The rain may fall, sting and even blind, but I must decide if I am going to feel the rain and rise to give witness to the sunshine that follows the storms, or remain wet and weighed down.

It is hard friends, but what is holy often comes with a price. It sure did for Jesus, and I am grateful He chose the riddled road less traveled because it made all the difference for me, and I pray for you as well.

Remember Who is Driving The Car

- dannalundstrom


When Carter turned two-years-old, I enrolled him in a mother’s day out program at our church two days a week. What I thought would be a short respite for me with a newborn baby quickly became a place of pain. Each Tuesday, Thursday when I loaded him in his car seat, his little face would peak with concern. The very second he saw we were turning down the road to MDO he would begin to cry and say, “no, mommy, no mommy.” “I stay with you, mommy.” It would break my heart! The school assured me shortly after I left that he was happy and playing with the other kids, but my heart would remain so heavy and haunted by his tears and pleas. Ultimately, though, I had to keep reminding myself that it was for his good, despite my grief. He needed the playtime, the socialization, the learning and so much more that the precious program had to offer that he could not get anywhere else.

I was thinking this morning as I was again shedding tears in this time of change and transition, did I mention I do not like an interruption of the predictable, but that experience was such a picture of God, our good, good, Father. Sometimes he allows us to be “driven” down dirt roads that have a lot of potholes and bumps. The journeys can be frightening, and often it feels like our cries for relief go unheard. But it is essential we remember Who is driving the car and that He never leads us anywhere that is not ultimately for our benefit. I know some circumstances look as though they could never prosper us, only persecute us. We are not God, though. Thank goodness for that! His vision is eternal and from a much broader, all-encompassing perspective. We can be assured, however, that He never leaves us alone with our tears. He hears our weeping and holds every sorrow. (Psalm 56:8)

I do not know what road you are maneuvering today, friend. But this I know for sure, if you remain the passenger, and let Abba Father steer the wheel, it may hurt, and it may sting but hang on to the truth that He is ultimately guiding you to a destination that will be for your gain and His glory. It may take a while to realize the results of the pilgrimage you or a loved one are traveling; sometimes it is not in this life. But faith is the conviction of what we do not see, not certainty in what we do. (Hebrews 11:1) Persevering faith is everlasting; present fact is equivocal. Believe in where you are and where you are going, not because you understand it, but because of The One Who does.

Blessed Hope

- dannalundstrom

If you need hope today where it feels hopeless may I tell you a story? I have a masters degree in Speech-Language Pathology and my second, and favorite job ever was on the rehab floor of a large hospital. I worked with patients who had a variety of ailments from strokes to brain tumors and total or partial loss of their tongue due to cancer. It was something new every day, and it was such a pleasure to be a witness to some remarkable recoveries and a sacred honor to hold the hand of some as they passed on to glory.

There is not a case that will forever stand out to me like that of a sixteen-year-old boy. He flipped his truck and was thrown from the automobile. After weeks in the ICU, he was moved to our floor. All medical indicators proved he was a vegetable. There was no brain activity and no evidence of hope as he lay lifeless and completely unresponsive. The doctors told his family his condition would never improve. They encouraged them to take him off all life-sustaining measures, but the family was resolute in holding steadfast to an unwavering belief.

I along with occupational and physical therapy was called in to work with him on a daily basis. This would be my most significant challenge. Graduate school taught me a lot of things but working with an entirely lifeless person, especially one so young was not one of them. I was at a loss.

This was in the mid-1990’s, and for those of you who remember, the songs YMCA and Young Man by The Village People were all the rage. What was a green and clueless SLP to do, why to sing along to fun music and dance of course? Daily I would use pungent scents to try and elicit a response, move his limbs and so on all while playing and singing those two songs at decibels that I am confident were unhealthy.

Weeks went by, and there was no change. I did not expect him ever to gain any level of awareness much less normalcy. Then one day I was in his room with one of the nursing aides. She was taking his vitals, and she dropped something to which she loudly exclaimed, “shit!” At that moment I witnessed a miracle. The “brain-dead,” teenage patient laughed! As you can imagine, when we reported this there was a flurry of activity in and out of his room. The doctors were dumbfounded. Right there on that fifty-bed rehab floor, a miracle had taken place.

The next time I was able to work with my miracle patient, he still had many limitations including his speech, but when I went in and greeted him that morning, through a very strained, slow and slurred voice his words to me were, Y-Y-Y, M-M-M, C-C-C, A-A-A. It was incredible. I asked him if he could hear me all along and he indicated that he could, he just was not able to respond.

This young man was soon after transferred to a facility closer to his home as he lived a state over to the east. The last report I heard on him many months later was that he was speaking some as well as using an assistive device to augment his communication skills. He was receiving aquatic therapy, and it was looking promising that one day he would walk again, even if in a modified form.

I don’t know where or how he is today, but I do know I experienced first-hand that miracles do happen. I learned that doctors and textbooks are not always right and the resolve of a family determined not to give up despite the odds sometimes wins.

Friend, I do not know what dirt road you are walking today, but if you need a fresh dose of faith, I hope you will take it from this story. Miracles still happen in this life, but if not, we still have what the Bible calls a “blessed hope” in Titus 2:13. That blessed hope is Jesus and His gift of eternal life for all those who have accepted His gift of grace and eternity in Heaven. If you are unsure if that is you, or you know that is not you but you want to be an heir of blessed hope, please find a friend to talk to who can lead you into a beautiful inheritance as a son or daughter of the King. As always, you may contact me, too. dannalundstrom@yahoo.com

You are loved today.♥️

Purpose Not Perfection

- dannalundstrom

An excellent wife (woman, friend, student, sister, daughter, mom…), who can find one?

Friends, do not confuse being excellent with being perfect. It is when we live with purpose, not perfection that we make an impact in the world around us. I do not know about you, but I cannot relate to “perfect” people.

I value authenticity in relationships. Transparency, not togetherness is what makes a woman excellent! It is the hard parts, the broken pieces and the raw portions that make you wise, strong, and radiant.

Genuine beauty comes from a life made sober by the fires of failure, the ashes of affiliation, the pearls of perseverance, the hearts of hope and the realities of redemption.

Part of growing in grace is loving ourselves, not the cleaned up parts but the complete person.

If we are Christ followers, with seasoning, we come to learn that in God’s story, our story, all is gain. That is not to say circumstances are not difficult. Many of you are bearing unimaginable pain. I want to remind you today that whatever you are in the midst of, your pain does not eliminate your excellence. It enhances it. You are loved!

You are loved!