Jesus Holds Our Little Lambs

- dannalundstrom 3 Comments

6006b5b22da1f97255d0ec61238f54e9

Yesterday was a difficult day for me as a mom. Some days our hardest job is remembering that God does not get it wrong-ever! In no circumstance is this a harder fight than circumstances involving our children. My son suffered a traumatic brain injury last July. His cognitive recovery has been a struggle. School is a struggle. Life is a struggle.

His neuropsychologist and case manager spoke with me about considering placing him on a life skills tract as opposed to a diploma/college track at school. He is in the ninth grade. The doctor said his cognitive scores place him within the category of a life skills track. These were very tough words to digest. I tried to put my best armor on and let the words bounce off of me, but the tears were tougher, and they won out.

The emotions are still raw from that tragic day. I think they always will be. A sight, a sound, a smell, a memory; they can all trigger a rush of emotion that no amount of effort can contain. My son is forever changed. I am forever changed. Our family is forever changed. This is not all ominous news. Change chiseled from crisis forges character, perseverance, deeper faith and so much more. The fruits born out of frustration are often some of the sweetest.

My son is not a victim, and I refuse to be either. Once we take on that role we put limitations on ourselves. We also maximize our sufficiency and minimize the soverignty of our Savior. I am sad that the circumstances are as they are. I hurt, I ache and at times I worry about the future. In all my fleshly responses, a voice keeps echoing in my head, BUT GOD. That is my life preserver friends! Test scores are indicators, but they are not dictators. Doctor’s opinions are assessments, but they are not absolutes. I much prefer the infallible provisions of My Provider to the fallible predictions of man.

I don’t know at this time what our decision about our sons’ school track will be. I am not ready to make that decision, nor am I ready to confine him to the limitations of a label. Labels we put on things are typically stickers. Over time, they are prone to fall off. I choose not to rely on labels, I prefer to rest in the hope of providential plans.

Yesterday I heard this quote from my friend, Julie Sparkman, of Restore Ministries. During the third session of her bible study series, Unhitching From the Crazy Train, she said, “Getting under the yoke with Jesus does not give you a different life; it gives you a different way of doing life.” Those words spoke so poignantly to my heart.

No matter what obstacles you or I are confronting today friends, our hope does not rest in the what of our struggle. It resides in the Who of our surrender. That is great news! This truth is a rest for our weary souls. Will you fight to reside here with me? Jesus holds our little lambs.

Fighting Back

- dannalundstrom

It is Finished

A gray, misty hue blanketed the morning, and it felt heavy, weary and exhausting. The calendar said Monday, and it dawned a chalky sky, barren trees and cold, wet air. The environment and duties of the day threatened to take hold, but she fought back and said, ok Monday, you will not be the boss of me. With that, she filled her heart with the good stuff because it is what we feed our hearts that seasons our souls. She read on, and with each faithful promise the malaise of this Monday faded away against a backdrop of eternity. Luke 6:45~Her mouth speaks from that which fills her heart.

The Sights and Sounds of Rest

- dannalundstrom

DSC_0438

I open my eyes and it’s 8:00 AM. I squint a little harder, surely I must not see right? I walk out onto the balcony, life giving reading material and breakfast in hand. As I sit trying to read, nature keeps stealing my attention. There is a gentle, but commanding breeze that is stirring up a chorus among the trees. Their leaves swish and sway in a harmony that beacons a deep exhale.There is a lizard with a bright blue tail gingerly exploring the deck. The water is calm and flowing like silk. The air is cool and feels fresh and crisp as it dances around me. There are birds chirping, signaling the start of a new day. They chirp and pause, chirp and pause as if they are in deep, connected conversation.

These are the sights and sounds of rest. These are the sights and sounds of peace, telling me it’s time to unplug and step off of the treadmill of the daily grind, and rest. It seems like such an easy invitation, so why is it so hard? It feels so natural yet so incongruent. It’s inviting and it’s awkward at the same time. It’s seemingly effortless but it takes focused intention.

Why? Why is that four letter, little word, rest, so hard? For me, I don’t live in that place near as much as I would like to, yet it is what we were created for. Rest in our minds; rest in our hearts and rest in our realities. Some realities are hard to rest in, and in those spaces I find myself fighting, fighting to make life work. Fighting to see the expectations I have created come to be, rather than be shattered before my eyes. Fighting to understand the realities of those that don’t seem fair and surely don’t make sense. It’s here I have to remind myself that expectations are the thieves of souls, as much as trying to understand HE who I am only called to know and trust, not comprehend.

So as the trees are singing a song of rest, and the harmony and chorus of nature is beckoning me, I hear a faint summons in my soul, asking me to lay it down. Lay it all down, and rest. As I listen to that calming voice, I am reminded of one of my favorite verses that always provokes a deep breath and a sense of calm within me: For now we see only a reflection in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.~1 Corinthians 13:12. I am fully known, and I am fully loved-that is rest!

It is Character Not Color

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

70b2fd64fc137918117793c45d6b20bb

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”~Martin Luther King Jr.

I am a color, but my color does not define me.

I am born of a race, but I become who I choose to be.

God created me equal to all man so, please respectfully acknowledge me.

I have a heart that beats just like yours. It sins and loves no matter what my ethnicity.

History holds a wealth of bondage from scars inflicted by ancestors, you and me.

The future does not have to reflect our wounds. The choice is for God’s people, no matter color, race, religion or gender to spread and live in harmony.

There are good and bad of every kind; exclusive to no one-not yours or mine.

My birth branded me with many labels, but please do not use them to judge me. I only wish to be known as a person who desires to reflect God’s character and equality.

Kindness knows no boundaries in available hearts. It is immune to the prejudice of color, race or gender. It respects all; the receiver and the lender.

We are all one. May our eyes be blind to any differences, and our hearts be open to every kind. For it is in seeing, knowing and loving, many treasures we find.~D’Anna

May we all be the light that extinguishes the darkness, friends! Thank you Martin Luther King Jr. for you valuable contribution to this world. It was not the quantity of your life, but the quality that made all the difference!

Mana For My Moment

- dannalundstrom

2015/01/img_8094-1.jpg
Sometimes God’s acknowledgements are just too sweet not to share for His glory. I woke up feeling exhausted and weary this morning. Just after praying I blindly opened my Bible after asking that my eyes land in a place of mana for the moment. Portions of my prayer were this: …refresh me through you word, Father. Get my heart and mind vertical with you before I attempt to engage a horizontal world. Show me your glory today. Let me be still before you. Help me be like a CHILD before you today; dependent, unassuming and and trusting. Thank you for loving me as a needy, inadequate child. Show up for me today and let me know you are in this moment. This picture was His little God-incidence for me today! How sweet He is!

Here I Stand Ready

- dannalundstrom

Jesus had piercing, beautiful eyes.   When he looked at someone his eyes penetrated through their broken exteriors and straight to their wounded hearts.   He fulfilled one of the most prominent desires of the human heart; to be fully seen and deeply known.

Last week I watched the new, modern version of the movie, Annie with my daughter.   I sobbed through most of the movie.   My daughter kept looking up at me with wondering eyes.

I cried because I saw a little girl who longed to be seen, known, wanted and loved.   She desired a safe place to belong.   Isn’t that what we all want?   In the busyness of life, it is easy to get so wrapped up in schedules and responsibilities that we do not see people well.   Orphans do not just live in homes for the homeless; they are all around us.

Ready to be Seen:

Here I stand ready to be me.
Here I stand ready to see the.
Here I stand ready for you to see me.

I dream of who I want to be.
I dream of great things for you to come to be.
I long for you to dream about me.

I love to smile.
I love you to smile at me.
I smile inside when past the charade you seek to see.

My heart is soft; it bruises easily.
I want to know your heart and how it came to be.
I long that my heart, you would fully see.

I want to love and live in harmony.
I want love for you plenty.
I want you to love me for what is inside of me.

I desire to be known.
I desire to know you that is true.
I desire for you to want to know me fully, too.

I yearn to give all of me.
I yearn to give vulnerably.
I yearn for you to give your heart a chance to be known completely.

I want to encourage with all that is in me.
I want to encourage you with the good in the.
I want to be encouraged by what God is doing within me.

I live for Jesus.
I live for Him your prize to be.
I live for you to see Jesus in me.

I bare a loving heart carved with sovereign hands.
I bare a desire to follow His commands.
I bare a dream for you to handle my heart gently, with a safe place to land.

Here I stand, how my soul yearns to be seen.
Here I stand waiting to be acknowledged by the.
Here I stand wondering, will you ever see the real me?

Father, give us perceptive eyes to see not just the outsides, but the deeply neglected insides of your people.   Train our eyes to be like Jesus, seeing past all the masks, smiles, accessories and facades. Enable us to see straight to the heart, and minister to wounded souls who long to be found.   Thank you, Jesus for loving us.   We praise you for seeing past our ragamuffin exteriors, and deep into our needy interiors.   Let us desire the sight of no other above you.   Bless us with community who pursue us with a deep vision, concern, and care.   There are so many invisible people, Jesus.   May we not overlook one of them.   Here we stand ready to be seen.   Let us feel your satisfied sight upon us most loving and gentle Savior.   Amen.

Still a Child

- dannalundstrom

913dccf11e11cab21616b2c8fa7bbb0f

I have to be honest; there are days I find myself wishing I was not an adult.   Today is the perfect example.   I have a meeting that I am not looking forward to handling.   It is a continuously challenging situation that chides and chisels away at the depth of my joy if I am not attentive to it.

Like many days, I am fighting to choose the beauty of perspective.   Perspective is a priceless art.   It tells me that if this is the most difficult thing I encounter today, it will still be a pretty good day.

The reality of life is that some days responsibilities are heavy, and difficult situations arise that we have to navigate.   I catch myself thinking, how wonderful to be the child again and have an adult handle all the arduous assignments.   This morning God tenderly reminded me that I am still the child-His child.

As a believer, we never enter strenuous situations alone, and I am not called to figure it all out, just to rest and receive.   Whew is that hard! It seems illogical that rest should be so illusive, but we all know it to be, friends.   Maybe like me, you find resolving much easier than resting.

I am very forgetful to remember that I, like you, have a faithful and loving Father, who goes before and with us.   He enters into those anxious and scary places as the adult, and we like the child if we allow ourselves to abide in his authority.

I am so thankful for the truth in Exodus 33:14 this morning~ The Lord replies, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”   When I can not just read this, but also reap it, my day becomes so much lighter.   I shrivel to think where I would be without the soul stabilizers of God’s promises.

Whatever is confronting you today, tomorrow or next week, may you find the grace to concede as a child of God and find peace in His assured provisions.

Rest for the Riddled Today

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

 

Hey you, hey me, the thirsty, the desperate, the depleted, the exhausted…those barriers, wounds and struggles in our lives are not present by accident.   They are there by assignment.   Things that challenge us to our core either create or crush us.   They are available for our gain and God’s glory.   The difference in destroying us or defining us is our resolve to find the meaning and mission in our messes.

Trials do not always come from God‘s hands, but they come through them.   We can rest in that. He has touched every tragedy and challenge before we endured it.

Our tears are sifted by God before they are shed by us.    He has held them, and He will heal them in His time and according to His purpose.

The new year is sometimes more of the old, the hard and the worn out.   You are not alone.   Let your perspective be colored by God’s purpose, not your pain.   He is working on our behalf.   Believe it, look for it, expect it and never lose hope!   We can give rest to our resolving, riddled souls, because one thing is for sure, relief will come through God’s strength, not our striving.   It will be in His timing not our tweaking. Father, give us all the grace to REST in your sovereign authority today and all days. When we forget, gently turn us away from our struggles and back to your safe shelter.   Amen.

The Christmas Gift That Almost Unwrapped Me

- dannalundstrom

 

In late November my husband told me he wanted to give our daughter a father/daughter week this summer at JH Ranch for Christmas.   That idea immediately sounded all the alarm buttons inside me, fear, anxiety, worry…

I love JH Ranch, their philosophy, the people and Who and what they represent.   Their programs are top notch and life changing, but I am still recovering from almost loosing our son last July in an accident while he was at camp there.   How could I agree to this? How could I even entertain the idea?   Was he crazy?   All these questions were brewing a chaotic storm in my heart and mind.

As quickly as that storm was surging, something else was surfacing.   Not something but Someone.   God’s truth began gently, quietly and consistently streaming in my head.   God does not call us to a life of fear.   2 Timothy 1:7~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.   I was not wanting to hear that in my moment of melting.   I wanted to be fearful-very fearful! In this circumstance, fear seemed like a much safer choice.   However, I know this about God; he does not leave his children stuck in known places of “safety” He leads us to unknown positions of surrender.

It took me some time to be at peace with the decision to give our daughter that Christmas gift.   I did not want to, but I knew I was being called to.   Obedience to God’s will is seldom easy.   It often grieves us but always grows us.   It challenges us, and it chisels us into His image.   2 Timothy 3:16~All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

When we step into the shadow of death with a loved one, feel its sting and breathe its stale, suffocating air, we are changed.   When you almost lose something, you love so much, resisting the urge to fall into the alluring trap of putting ourselves in charge of the safety and protection of those we hold so dear is challenging!

Based on God’s word, though,  all indicators tell me He did not spare my son’s life for me to become my children’s savior.   He did not spare his life for me to grab on tighter and smother them in a bubble of supposed safety.   God did not spare my son’s life for me to turn my children into idols shaped in my image.   He spared my son’s life for His purpose, not my power.

Shortly after Christmas, friends and family began asking our children about their gifts.   Our daughter was asked, more than once, “what was your favorite gift?”   Each time she answered, “camp with my dad at JH Ranch next summer.   As people asked the question, I began to experience my body stiffening and my eyes squinting as if something was about to hit me.   It was!   I was “hit” with looks that if they could talk might say, “are you crazy!”   I received comments that resulted in shame.   I felt like an irresponsible mother for a short time, and it taxed the depth of peace that encompassed my decision.   I had to remember that walking in obedience is a process of frequent renewal to a life guided by Spirit, not self.

Initially, I felt the need to explain the gift to all the puzzled people.   My explaining something that is right between God and me, however, is only an attempt to tidy myself up to satisfy my need to meet the approval of people.   Explaining can become a form of self-righteousness.   I am grateful for the words in the Gospel of Matthew that release me from my need to explain.   Matthew 5:37 says, Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.     I am only accountable to One.  Sometimes what is right between God and me makes no sense to outside parties, but their understanding is not my responsibility.    I love the freedom in that!

After all the gift giving, a gift to my daughter that almost unwrapped me proved to be a gift for me, too.     It rewrapped me in the freedom; rest and comfort of a sovereign God who I am so grateful pursues me even through Christmas gifts.   Never has giving a Christmas gift been so laden with pain and so loaded with purpose.   Growth happens in grievous places.   That is good news, friends!

Words

- dannalundstrom

My family spent the past week in Dallas visiting family, relaxing, taking in football and basketball games and eating a lot of good food-good Mexican food! Oh, my expanding waistline, but that is a story for another time!

Seven nights in a hotel can be a challenge for a family of four. It is a series of tests in patience, perseverance, sharing, holding your bladder, letting a little modesty go and so much more. We did pretty well, but the week was not without snags.

When our agendas get busy, we get tired, and frustration begins to taint the air. Our self-control is put to the test. Sadly, but not surprisingly, we all failed at times throughout the week. The most common way this presents in our family is we get short, snippy and sometimes sloppy with our words. By the middle of the week, it was apparent that taming our tongues and loving each other well was proving to be a challenge.

After five nights, I woke up and was reading a post from a friend, Jennifer Lee. She wrote about having home church while on vacation. She wrote that her uncle lead church and it was based on 1 Corinthians 13. Everyone read the love passage and everywhere the word love appeared; they inserted their names.

I immediately opened my Bible and took this to task for myself. Wow! Was that an uncomfortable and convicting experience. I decided when the kids woke up; I was going to talk to them about my need to apologize and repent for any instances I had been unkind or lacked gentleness the last few days. Then read them 1 Corinthians 13.

I read it to them inserting my name in all the places for love. It was very hard to do this by myself, and ten times harder to do it in front of my family. I suppose that would be expected because we often tend to be the most negligent with those who love us most. Maybe it is because we are together so much that we are comfortable. Maybe it is because we know they will love us no matter what? Maybe we take each other for granted, or it is just because we are sinners and sometimes our fallen nature gets the best of us. Whatever the reason, our families sadly do not experience our kindest side enough. This in itself was convicting to me, and something to pray about.

This is what I read to my family:
D’Anna is patient; D’Anna is kind. D’Anna does not envy; she does not boast; D’Anna is not proud. She does not dishonor others; D’Anna is not self-seeking, D’Anna is not easily angered, She keeps no record of wrongs. D’Anna does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. D’Anna always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I was now choking, coughing, flushed and a little squeamish as I read. This is a tough task! Lord Jesus, how I need you every hour, every minute of every day.

I am so glad The Lord was faithful to lead me to read Jennifer’s post and subsequently explore those verses for myself. I think I need to use this exercise as a soul check frequently.

When quiet time becomes sparse, it is always to my detriment. I cannot stay grounded and strong in soul integrity when my core has not been marinating in the word of God. Life is too hard, and circumstances fray my edges. A consistent prayer time is essential to strengthen me. The word of God is our best armor. I am weak and vulnerable without it.

Think about it like this- a half cooked egg versus a hard boiled egg. A half cooked egg when cut into, the yoke, (or the center), runs everywhere. A hard boiled egg is much more resilient, and the center stays in tact because it is firm. When my center is not firm in the word of God, I run everywhere with my words, my emotions, my feelings… Alternatively, when I have my necessary and consistent quiet times, my center is much stronger, and I can withstand more pressure without falling apart.

There are seasons that our time with God does suffer. This is why a check-in activity like in 1 Corinthians is beneficial. It is a like a re-set button for our souls. It is not to shame us into being nice and getting it together. It is to remind us why we need a Savior. Thank you, Jesus for saving me!

Joyce Meyer often says that when we get saved we sometimes forget that our mouth is supposed to get saved along with the rest of us. Isn’t that the truth! Taming the tongue is an ongoing challenge for all of us but never should it be abandoned.

Isaiah 55:10-11 says: As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

This is great news. God’s word will not return void. It will accomplish what He desires and achieve the purpose for which it was sent. His word was given to be within us so that it may strengthen us and stream from us. God’s word is not just meant to be read. It is meant to be reaped in our lives. When we have His truths in our hearts, on our minds and in our souls, they begin to shape the way we speak, respond, act, make decisions, relate to others…God’s word is fuel for our empty bodies. It fills us with patience, gentleness, kindness, self-control and other desirable fruits we cannot obtain from our striving.

Sometimes people hurt us, and we convince ourselves that harsh words are justified. Sometimes toxic words just spew out before we even think. This is dangerous! It is hard to take back what has already been said. Truth is always helpful but never when it is delivered through hurtful words.

It often feels good just to let our words loose on someone, but only for a fleeting moment. The momentary satisfaction I feel in ranting does not out weigh the peace I feel in reserving. Life is so much lighter when self-control defeats self-satisfaction.

Self-control, taming the tongue, gentleness, they become hard when life becomes hectic. Our unkept schedules, however, are never an excuse for our unkind sentiments. Our actions and our reactions should be like indicator lights. When they go off, and the light is red, it may be time to start evaluating what we are running off of. If the answer is not adequate spiritual space, and it most likely is not, then it may be time for a service call.

Our words hold so much power. I was asking myself these questions today as I was reflecting on our week:
Do I use my words to inspire or insult?
Do I use my words to commend or criticize?
Are my words someone’s ax or their antidote?

In God’s economy, there is always good news. For you and me, it is that God is never surprised by our actions. He already knows our tendencies and He loves us regardless. That is not an excuse to stay stuck, but motivation to surrender. I love the promise in Isaiah 30:15~In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength. That is a soothing balm for shamed souls like you and me friends. Will you rest in that wonderful news with me?

Lord Jesus,
Divorcing love from truth is to engage cruelty. Divorcing truth from love is to enable a charade. Your word teaches love and truth are meant to be united, always. This is the only way to speak to the core of truth without wounding the core of a person. When days get busy, to-do lists get long and chaos ensues, Father I have a tendency to not be a good steward of my tongue. When I hold in frustration too long or don’t address matters promptly, the pressure builds just waiting for the prime moment to explode, leaving words of hot, burning ash to fall on someone I love. Never do I want this, Father. Give me the wisdom and patience to hold my tongue until my heart and soul are settled not seething. Jesus, give me the grace to tame my tongue, always using it to build people up, never to break them down. In the moments when I fail, and you already know this of me, I will, prick my heart towards prompt repentance that is the precursor for grace lending rest. Amen.