I just don’t know what to do.

That really difficult situation that is ripping you apart, you don’t have to figure it out, friend.  The decision is not your responsibility, but The Lord’s.  Talk to Him.  Don’t worry about how you sound.  There are no style points for perfect prayers with The God.  A simple yet powerful calling of His name, Jesus, Father, Lord, Abba, how dear those words must be to His heart to hear His children calling His name.  He hears you.  He knows the posture and the passions of your heart.  God does not require eloquence, He recognizes endurance.  Ask Him to clearly show you what path to take.  He will answer. The answer may be scary, but once you walk in the shadow of His light, you will find an unexplainable peace insulating your heart.
Psalm 29:11~The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.