When I was growing up, it was all about me. When I was in college, it was all about those friends and that guy. When I became a mom, it was all about the kids and family. All of the above mentioned, (emphasis on self-included) have failed me, and in this life will continue to do so. Now that I understand that, it’s all about a Savior, who although I fail him every day, he approves of me still! Today and every day, may I remember it is all about Him!
I’m going to be honest for the sake of being transparent because I have learned that it is in admitting my struggles that I find freedom, and maybe loan a little out, too. Holidays are difficult for me. Whether it’s Christmas, birthdays, 4th of July, I have to fight some degree of sadness, and sometimes my fight is weak.
I grew up in a big family. Everyone lived within a reasonable distance. Holidays were very grand at our house and my grandmother’s houses. My mom and grandmothers were all exceptional cooks and fed many small armies over the years. As much as the food, I remember the fellowship, the laughter, the sporting events on TV, big firework displays, football games in the yard, all the men falling asleep on the couches. I remember masses of people, the constant roar of conversation and laughter; and the euphoria of kids everywhere, a lot of kids!
Every holiday was as old as it was new, foreign as it was familiar and frayed as it was fancy. They were truly wonderful times that wove priceless memories deep into my heart.
As The 4th of July approaches again, I have felt that familiar restlessness settling into my soul. I have to be intentional to remember the happiness of what was while forging gratitude in what is. What is, is still beautiful, it is just different. If you have the luxury of having most of your family healthy and close by, don’t take it for granted. You are blessed. I am blessed too; my blessings just look different than yours.
Two weeks ago I was flying back from Texas, where all of my family lives, to Birmingham. As I was standing in line waiting to board the plane, a dialogue was playing in my head. Was I flying back home or leaving home? There was a sense of confliction in my answer. Later, I realized that the answer didn’t matter because home is where the people we love are, and that can be many places. Also, in his grace, The Father reminded me that all these homes are just temporary resting places along the journey to my forever home. There, it will be one big, ongoing reunion with all those I love in attendance.
Jesus promises “in my Father’s house there are many rooms.” (John 14:2) I am so grateful because we will need them! As for this holiday, it may be quiet, it may be small, but sometimes it is the quiet and the small that create the most sparkle! More importantly, it is about focusing on cherishing my blessings and committing to choosing joy in all situations, whether they are extraordinary or ordinary. In retrospect, I often realize that so much beauty in this life is intrinsic to the ordinary.
My family spent the past week in Dallas visiting family, relaxing, taking in football and basketball games and eating a lot of good food-good Mexican food! Oh, my expanding waistline, but that is a story for another time!
Seven nights in a hotel can be a challenge for a family of four. It is a series of tests in patience, perseverance, sharing, holding your bladder, letting a little modesty go and so much more. We did pretty well, but the week was not without snags.
When our agendas get busy, we get tired, and frustration begins to taint the air. Our self-control is put to the test. Sadly, but not surprisingly, we all failed at times throughout the week. The most common way this presents in our family is we get short, snippy and sometimes sloppy with our words. By the middle of the week, it was apparent that taming our tongues and loving each other well was proving to be a challenge.
After five nights, I woke up and was reading a post from a friend, Jennifer Lee. She wrote about having home church while on vacation. She wrote that her uncle lead church and it was based on 1 Corinthians 13. Everyone read the love passage and everywhere the word love appeared; they inserted their names.
I immediately opened my Bible and took this to task for myself. Wow! Was that an uncomfortable and convicting experience. I decided when the kids woke up; I was going to talk to them about my need to apologize and repent for any instances I had been unkind or lacked gentleness the last few days. Then read them 1 Corinthians 13.
I read it to them inserting my name in all the places for love. It was very hard to do this by myself, and ten times harder to do it in front of my family. I suppose that would be expected because we often tend to be the most negligent with those who love us most. Maybe it is because we are together so much that we are comfortable. Maybe it is because we know they will love us no matter what? Maybe we take each other for granted, or it is just because we are sinners and sometimes our fallen nature gets the best of us. Whatever the reason, our families sadly do not experience our kindest side enough. This in itself was convicting to me, and something to pray about.
This is what I read to my family:
D’Anna is patient; D’Anna is kind. D’Anna does not envy; she does not boast; D’Anna is not proud. She does not dishonor others; D’Anna is not self-seeking, D’Anna is not easily angered, She keeps no record of wrongs. D’Anna does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. D’Anna always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I was now choking, coughing, flushed and a little squeamish as I read. This is a tough task! Lord Jesus, how I need you every hour, every minute of every day.
I am so glad The Lord was faithful to lead me to read Jennifer’s post and subsequently explore those verses for myself. I think I need to use this exercise as a soul check frequently.
When quiet time becomes sparse, it is always to my detriment. I cannot stay grounded and strong in soul integrity when my core has not been marinating in the word of God. Life is too hard, and circumstances fray my edges. A consistent prayer time is essential to strengthen me. The word of God is our best armor. I am weak and vulnerable without it.
Think about it like this- a half cooked egg versus a hard boiled egg. A half cooked egg when cut into, the yoke, (or the center), runs everywhere. A hard boiled egg is much more resilient, and the center stays in tact because it is firm. When my center is not firm in the word of God, I run everywhere with my words, my emotions, my feelings… Alternatively, when I have my necessary and consistent quiet times, my center is much stronger, and I can withstand more pressure without falling apart.
There are seasons that our time with God does suffer. This is why a check-in activity like in 1 Corinthians is beneficial. It is a like a re-set button for our souls. It is not to shame us into being nice and getting it together. It is to remind us why we need a Savior. Thank you, Jesus for saving me!
Joyce Meyer often says that when we get saved we sometimes forget that our mouth is supposed to get saved along with the rest of us. Isn’t that the truth! Taming the tongue is an ongoing challenge for all of us but never should it be abandoned.
Isaiah 55:10-11 says: As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
This is great news. God’s word will not return void. It will accomplish what He desires and achieve the purpose for which it was sent. His word was given to be within us so that it may strengthen us and stream from us. God’s word is not just meant to be read. It is meant to be reaped in our lives. When we have His truths in our hearts, on our minds and in our souls, they begin to shape the way we speak, respond, act, make decisions, relate to others…God’s word is fuel for our empty bodies. It fills us with patience, gentleness, kindness, self-control and other desirable fruits we cannot obtain from our striving.
Sometimes people hurt us, and we convince ourselves that harsh words are justified. Sometimes toxic words just spew out before we even think. This is dangerous! It is hard to take back what has already been said. Truth is always helpful but never when it is delivered through hurtful words.
It often feels good just to let our words loose on someone, but only for a fleeting moment. The momentary satisfaction I feel in ranting does not out weigh the peace I feel in reserving. Life is so much lighter when self-control defeats self-satisfaction.
Self-control, taming the tongue, gentleness, they become hard when life becomes hectic. Our unkept schedules, however, are never an excuse for our unkind sentiments. Our actions and our reactions should be like indicator lights. When they go off, and the light is red, it may be time to start evaluating what we are running off of. If the answer is not adequate spiritual space, and it most likely is not, then it may be time for a service call.
Our words hold so much power. I was asking myself these questions today as I was reflecting on our week:
Do I use my words to inspire or insult?
Do I use my words to commend or criticize?
Are my words someone’s ax or their antidote?
In God’s economy, there is always good news. For you and me, it is that God is never surprised by our actions. He already knows our tendencies and He loves us regardless. That is not an excuse to stay stuck, but motivation to surrender. I love the promise in Isaiah 30:15~In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength. That is a soothing balm for shamed souls like you and me friends. Will you rest in that wonderful news with me?
Lord Jesus,
Divorcing love from truth is to engage cruelty. Divorcing truth from love is to enable a charade. Your word teaches love and truth are meant to be united, always. This is the only way to speak to the core of truth without wounding the core of a person. When days get busy, to-do lists get long and chaos ensues, Father I have a tendency to not be a good steward of my tongue. When I hold in frustration too long or don’t address matters promptly, the pressure builds just waiting for the prime moment to explode, leaving words of hot, burning ash to fall on someone I love. Never do I want this, Father. Give me the wisdom and patience to hold my tongue until my heart and soul are settled not seething. Jesus, give me the grace to tame my tongue, always using it to build people up, never to break them down. In the moments when I fail, and you already know this of me, I will, prick my heart towards prompt repentance that is the precursor for grace lending rest. Amen.
I’m going to be honest for the sake of being transparent and authentic, because I have learned that it is in admitting my struggles that I find freedom, and maybe loan a little out, too. Holidays are difficult for me. Whether it’s Christmas, birthdays, 4th of July…I have to fight some degree of sadness, and sometimes my fight is weak.
I grew up in a big family, and everyone lived within a reasonable distance. Holidays were very grand at our house and my grandmother’s houses. My mom and grandmothers were all great cooks, and definitely fed many small armies over the years. As much as the food, I remember the fellowship, the laughter, the sporting events on TV, big firework displays, football games in the yard, all the men falling asleep on the couches-:)… I remember so many people, the constant roar of conversation, laughter and the euphoria of kids everywhere-a lot of kids!
Every holiday was as old as it was new, foreign as it was familiar, and worn as it was refreshing. They were truly wonderful times that have branded priceless memories deep into my heart.
As another holiday approaches Friday, I have felt that restlessness settling into my soul. I have to be intentional to remember the happiness of what was, while forging gratitude in what is. What is, is still beautiful, it’s just different. If you have the luxury of having most of your family healthy and close by, don’t take it for granted. You are truly blessed. I am blessed too, my blessings just look different than yours.
A couple of weeks ago I was flying back from Texas, (where all of my family is), to Birmingham. As I was standing in line with my children waiting to board the plane, a dialogue was going on in my head. Was I flying back home or leaving home. I was conflicted in my answer. I later realized that the answer didn’t really matter, because home is wherever the people we love are, and that can be many places. Also, in his grace, The Father reminded me that all these homes are just temporary resting places along the journey to my forever home-a place where it will be one big, ongoing reunion with all those I love in attendance.
Jesus promises that “in my Father’s house there are many rooms.” I’m so grateful, because we will need them! As for this holiday, it may be quite, it may be small, but sometimes it’s the the quite and the small that create the most sparkle! More so, though, it is about focusing on cherishing my blessings and committing to choose joy in all situations, whether they be extraordinary or ordinary. So much beauty in life really is found in the ordinary.
Living the Christian life is a constant, daily renewal of ourselves in so many ways. One of those ways is dying to the desires of our flesh, so that we may seek and walk the path that Jesus has laid for us. Sometimes this is hard, very hard. The desires within us are not a bad thing, but it is us within the desires that is the problem. When we hold on too tightly to a desire, it can easily preoccupy our mind in a way that gives more time and energy to the desire, and less focus to God.
This is something I have to remain aware of every morning when I wake up. I have a lot of desires. Most of them good, healthy desires, but certainly all of them could control me if I didn’t daily submit them to Jesus upon waking. I have started a new habit ever morning. Either before getting out of bed, or just upon waking, I thank Jesus for giving me another day, and then I ask him this: Jesus please get me aligned and focused with you vertically before I begin interacting horizontally with the world. Please help me to filter my words, actions, and thoughts through a lens that is reflective of you. Amen.
One desire I struggle with is to live close to my family. They all live 3 states away, and this is very hard for me. Holidays are especially hard. When I think of all the get-together’s, birthdays, dinners, weddings, and much more that I miss, it makes me sad. I could really dwell on this and be consumed by my sadness and my will to be closer if I didn’t re-submit it to God every morning. It is a daily “dying to self” and believing that this is where my Heavenly Father, the one who loves me beyond all others; the one who desires what is best for me more than anyone; and the one who protects me in ways I cannot understand and no one else can, would have me be.
It is not an easy thing! It is hard for me to understand why? It is difficult to comprehend why something that feels so wrong can be right. Belief is hard work! Sometimes it is the most difficult work I do every day. If we can bathe ourselves in Jesus’s promises, however, and allow ourselves to believe in HIM, it all becomes a little easier, at least it does for me. He does not promise us we will understand, but HE does promise us that HE works all things for the good of those who love HIM.
Ecclesiastes 11:5~ As you do not know the path of the wind, or how a baby is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things.
Romans 8:28~ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.
These types of promise are the only things that keep me at peace in a world where desires of my flesh run wild. Giving my selfish needs to my loving Savior daily is the only way. It is not always the easy way, but nowhere in the Kingdom, only in the world, does it say the right way will be the easy way this side of Eden.
Whatever desires you are struggling with, and my guess is there are many because I cannot believe you are that different from me, submit them. Submit them daily, and sometimes that even means hourly. Ask Jesus to help you to be content where he has you, and fight to believe he has you there because it is where you belong in his story, not yours. I ask him every day, Jesus please help me to be content no matter what my zip code reads. It took me a long time to get to a place where I could give him that desire, still have it, but leave him in charge of it and my happiness, not me! It took me a long time, the desire is still there, but my desire to trust and believe My Father, and walk in his way, is stronger as long as I keep giving it to Him!