A Tangible Gift From The Lord

This is one of those stories that must be told; a God story about His tender and personal faithfulness to me, His daughter, in the midst of great sorrow.

Yesterday morning, (last Saturday, 09/01), was the second worst morning of my life, and that same afternoon I had to get in a car and head to the airport to come home only hours after laying on my mom sobbing my eyes out. During the entire drive to Houston Hobby Airport I was praying, Lord, please let me sit next to someone kind on the airplane who will be empathetic and not bothered by my tears. I texted three friends and asked them to pray for that as well.

I made it to my gate and found a corner to sit in trying to go unnoticed as I was visibly grieving. After a few minutes I looked up and I could not believe my eyes. My precious friend, Monica, who is in my Wednesday morning Bible study was walking up to my gate. I got up and ran to her. She knew my situation, but she was equally shocked to see me as I was her. She thought I was in Dallas and I had no idea she would be in Houston. As it turned out she was in Houston for the night to see her daughter dance at the Ole Miss/Texas Tech football game that was being played in Houston. Our eyes met and I grabbed her, I am not sure who was more confused.

This was one of the most chilling, in a good way, God winks I have ever experienced.

A direct, personal and tangible gift from The Lord.

We were able to sit together on the plane and she kept me mostly distracted and calm. I will never forget how God not only honored my need but in such a sweet way by sending someone who was already praying for me and that I knew and loved. In the midst of my tears and heartache a gift I will never forget walking toward me and reminding me God is always going before me. He is working things out on my behalf and planting priceless pearls of peace to intersect my pain. And, I would also like to think my mama had a little something to do with it as well.

Faith,Not Feats

3eec0d24125490b3a8f2123ff53708b0I am not good enough. I will never be good enough. I could never be a Christian because I can not get my act together to qualify. If you ever find yourself thinking these thoughts, you are right about all except the last one. You, NOR I will never be adequate, but Jesus was enough on our behalf. Being good enough is not and never was up to us. WE are perfectly acceptable and accepted as we are because He was and is sufficient, and He completed us by imparting His righteousness to us as a gift that we receive by believing. We are justified by faith, not feats. I hope you rest easy tonight knowing you are enough, friend! You are loved!

The Christmas Gift That Almost Unwrapped Me

 

In late November my husband told me he wanted to give our daughter a father/daughter week this summer at JH Ranch for Christmas.   That idea immediately sounded all the alarm buttons inside me, fear, anxiety, worry…

I love JH Ranch, their philosophy, the people and Who and what they represent.   Their programs are top notch and life changing, but I am still recovering from almost loosing our son last July in an accident while he was at camp there.   How could I agree to this? How could I even entertain the idea?   Was he crazy?   All these questions were brewing a chaotic storm in my heart and mind.

As quickly as that storm was surging, something else was surfacing.   Not something but Someone.   God’s truth began gently, quietly and consistently streaming in my head.   God does not call us to a life of fear.   2 Timothy 1:7~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.   I was not wanting to hear that in my moment of melting.   I wanted to be fearful-very fearful! In this circumstance, fear seemed like a much safer choice.   However, I know this about God; he does not leave his children stuck in known places of “safety” He leads us to unknown positions of surrender.

It took me some time to be at peace with the decision to give our daughter that Christmas gift.   I did not want to, but I knew I was being called to.   Obedience to God’s will is seldom easy.   It often grieves us but always grows us.   It challenges us, and it chisels us into His image.   2 Timothy 3:16~All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

When we step into the shadow of death with a loved one, feel its sting and breathe its stale, suffocating air, we are changed.   When you almost lose something, you love so much, resisting the urge to fall into the alluring trap of putting ourselves in charge of the safety and protection of those we hold so dear is challenging!

Based on God’s word, though,  all indicators tell me He did not spare my son’s life for me to become my children’s savior.   He did not spare his life for me to grab on tighter and smother them in a bubble of supposed safety.   God did not spare my son’s life for me to turn my children into idols shaped in my image.   He spared my son’s life for His purpose, not my power.

Shortly after Christmas, friends and family began asking our children about their gifts.   Our daughter was asked, more than once, “what was your favorite gift?”   Each time she answered, “camp with my dad at JH Ranch next summer.   As people asked the question, I began to experience my body stiffening and my eyes squinting as if something was about to hit me.   It was!   I was “hit” with looks that if they could talk might say, “are you crazy!”   I received comments that resulted in shame.   I felt like an irresponsible mother for a short time, and it taxed the depth of peace that encompassed my decision.   I had to remember that walking in obedience is a process of frequent renewal to a life guided by Spirit, not self.

Initially, I felt the need to explain the gift to all the puzzled people.   My explaining something that is right between God and me, however, is only an attempt to tidy myself up to satisfy my need to meet the approval of people.   Explaining can become a form of self-righteousness.   I am grateful for the words in the Gospel of Matthew that release me from my need to explain.   Matthew 5:37 says, Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.     I am only accountable to One.  Sometimes what is right between God and me makes no sense to outside parties, but their understanding is not my responsibility.    I love the freedom in that!

After all the gift giving, a gift to my daughter that almost unwrapped me proved to be a gift for me, too.     It rewrapped me in the freedom; rest and comfort of a sovereign God who I am so grateful pursues me even through Christmas gifts.   Never has giving a Christmas gift been so laden with pain and so loaded with purpose.   Growth happens in grievous places.   That is good news, friends!

The Priceless Gift of Prayer

 

Some time ago I adopted the practice with my children of praying for someone who was mean to them or someone else. Alternatively, I pray with and for them and myself, when we are not so nice, too. I cannot tell you how valuable this practice has become not only for them but for me, too.

It is difficult to feel bad about someone when you try to understand that we do not know what storms they are being asked to weather. After all, it is often the people who hurt others the most who need love the most.

Morning and afternoon carpools are typically when these prayers are most prevalent. The days rundown usually encompasses a lot of junk, especially the older they get. Then there came yesterday! Yesterday challenged my practice to its core because I did not want to pray for this person after what I heard. I wanted to be very angry at him, and I was for a short time. However, because we had been practicing our prayer routine so long, prayer felt like an automatic default. It was also a comforting, safe and welcoming place to fall in that moment of hurt.

Macey got in the car after school yesterday. She was choking back tears as she told me that a boy took her water bottle from her. He then told her, “I am going to hit you over the head and crack your skull so your brain will be messed up like your brothers.”

My heart sank! Contrary emotions flooded my mind. I felt sadness, anger and ultimately an empathy for Macey and a boy with a deadly tongue. At that moment, if we had not been prepared to revert to prayer, I don’t know where we would have sunk to. I am sure of this; it would not have been to a good place.

Prayer is the best defense we have in this world! I don’t know where I would be without it. I don’t know how I could parent my children without it. I am so thankful we were well-prepared yesterday with the gift of prayer. Thank you, Jesus!

Ephesians 6:10-18~ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.