Her successes humbled her; she softly accepted them with gratitude. Her wounds filled her heart with compassion, and she knew though painful, they would mature into wisdom that she would rely on to comfort others. Both together wrote her story; the story she drew from to minister to others with gentleness and grace. You, my dear, are a beautiful story with pages full of pleasure and pain that have formed your unique and eternal purpose.
As the hours of another year fade, I am thinking about the things, the hard ones, that I would have never chosen in 2015, but they chose me. They brought much grief but were always accompanied by gratitude.
Our years are made of days, some ordinary and some extraordinary. Those days, the ordinary and the extraordinary, occasionally conquer but also create us. They sometimes shatter us but subsequently sharpen us. We experience triumphs, and we endure tragedies. Some days break us only to build us. Days can be messy but NOT without meaning. Refinement and restoration marry well with an available heart.
The self-reliant use tallies of good and bad days to calculate the success of their year. It is perspective and the pursuit of meaning and quality of growth amidst days, broken and beautiful, that the surrendered use to measure theirs. May I always evaluate my years from a position of obedience to the word, not obtainments of the world.
This year has felt like another year of wandering in the Psalms for me. I have been desperate, and I have been dependent. I have lamented, and I have praised. The year cultivated both difficult and defining memories. It was pretty, and it was painful. I have learned that all years are as long as we are living under the sun.
2015 was a reminder that the goal of life is not happiness because it is not happiness that brokers comfortable homes; but joy outside of circumstances found in a Savior that breeds content hearts.
I am reflecting on all the fragments of the past year, the brutal and the beautiful, and placing them within the context of Romans 8:28 today. ~And we know that God causes everything to work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
I can find meaning in much of the messiness, but there are other situations; however, I am still waiting. I am aware as Deuteronomy 29:29 tells me, I may never understand. Some things are only to be known by The Lord. Many circumstances are unfair. I am tempted to wonder how God could be working right from something seemingly so wrong? It is here that I must exercise unreasonable faith, not in circumstances I see but in a creator, I trust. I am slow to submit daily my exclusory perspective to God’s eternal plan. It is here, in the stuck places, I have to put away all the “whys” and rest in Who. I do not say this lightly because this is a difficult assignment, but we are not called to an assurance of facts, but an acceptance of our Father.
We can view life through skeptical-glasses or Savior-glasses. It is a choice and a very crucial one. 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011… They all had obstacles that shook and shaped me; not to my final destination but towards my desired direction. It has been those dreaded moments, the broken ones, that have rendered the sweetest fruit. So while some are saying so long 2015, I cannot wait to forget you; I am saying may I always remember you.
Meaning is often disguised within the parameters of messy. Jesus was born in the most unclean of environments. Isn’t it beautiful how the sloppiest of circumstances can become sacred. Jesus was crucified and suffered a painful death with the intent to secure the salvation of a sinner like me. It is no wonder that pain is piercing, but priceless because our eternity was founded on that principal.
Thank you 2015 for all the opportunities you provided God to prune and protect me. Thank you for all the sorrow that stretched me. Growth is most fertile when planted in the soil of grief. Thank you for the tears of pain and the tears of joy. Thank you for the portraits of beauty and the scribbles of brokenness. Mostly 2015, thank you for transporting me deeper into a relationship with my Savior.
Welcome, 2016. I know your terrain will be one indigenous of peaks and valleys. I also know it is my triumphs over your tribulations that are for my growth and God’s glory. May I be a good steward of all you behold, the pleasant and the unpleasant. This year, nor any ahead, as I have finally learned, will I evaluate by happiness or success, but holiness and stewardship of the shattered and the shiny moments that meet me down roads I do not yet know I will travel. What a blessing to enter a new year given the grace to understand that!
Happy New Year to all. May you be rich enough to embrace prosperity and rattled enough to experience your Savior. Holiest of New Years, friends.
My success rate with New Year resolutions is 0%; therefore, I am not a fan! I have been “planning” consistent commitment to exercise for more than half my life. That goal was just a picture absent of prayer that bred exhausted expectations void of any rewarding realizations. Healthy resolutions will not prosper without heart reformations. I do not need a new year to be a new me, and neither do you. We can be made new any day, any month and any year when it is not about us who corrects our habits, but He who changes our heart. Progress only thrives in the shadows of prayer, and growth is granted under the wings of grace. Without turning over control from self to Savior resolutions become rejections and dates breed despair. Results come from my Provider, not my power and by His appointments not my agenda. 1 John 4:4…for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
Sometimes The Lord puts words or phrases on my heart, and I earnestly pray to seek and pursue them. The last couple of months the word has been obedience not to the world but the word. Sometimes my biggest problem is my eyes are focused more on myself and less on my Savior. Praying John 3:30 has been a powerful prescription for that! Self-preoccupation suffocates joy out of my soul. Lord give me a heart and hands obedient to You, not comfortable to me so that my earthly work may be of eternal worth. Amen. Have a good day friends!
Every morning my windows grab my attention. They are a showcase of God’s glory. I retreat to my front porch to find rest in the beauty displayed in the Heavens. A word that keeps appearing in my mind the last few weeks is peace. Peace from bad thought patters, peace from my own self demands, peace from condemnation when I don’t measure up, peace from the noises and movement of a chaotic world and peace in my life to be free allowing the chips of life to fall as they may. The sky has been beckoning me out every morning and evening as to say, find peace here. There is peace in every sunset and sunrise. There is peace in the valleys and on the mountain tops, over the lakes and spanning the oceans. Peace is right here on my front porch, knocking and waiting for me to answer. There is peace within each one of us, sometimes it just needs to be rediscovered. May we pursue peace from our past, in our present and amongst our people. Get out and take a few moments to bask in the glow as the sun begins tucking in for the night, and as it begins awakening for the day. No where is God more visibly alive than in nature. Look for Him today, and let His characteristic of peace pause you from busyness and permeate you with blessings. May peace find you today, friends. #nofilter #onlygod
God, please turn the chaos into calm in the city of Paris tonight. Be near to hearts that have been crushed and confused by the chaotic commotion that is taking place. People are scared Father. Fear permeates borders and rattles hearts and minds all over our world. Despite it all, 365 times Your word commands us to fear not. That seems impossible on days of destruction such as this. New wounds have been created while old, seeping wounds perforated. Turn us from the presence of panic to a posture of prayer, God. Remind shattered hearts tonight that when we have an assurance of our eternal destination it is possible to find respite in our existent situation. I know you are gently caressing every fallen tear. Nestle the hurting in Your healing hands tonight. I pray we, your children, do not let toxic terrorists prevent us from persisting. Help us to hold on to the truth that it is far better to die living in faith than to live dying from fear. May the lacerated feel Your lavish love tonight. Soothe our splintered hearts as we process the abundance of agony that is taking place. May we, the worn watchers, lay our heads down tonight with our palms in prayer for the persecuted, security in our souls of our salvation and praise for our people sleeping safely under shelter. Amen.
Perfectionism. We all chase it. None of us will ever achieve it, but we often run ourselves into the ground trying.
Pursuing perfection is to deny what Jesus did for us.
He died an excruciating death not only to save us from our sins but also to impart His perfect righteousness to us. That means it is no secret we alone are inadequate. It is inevitable that we will fail as a parent, friend, spouse… Someone else will always do better that which we desire to do.
Why do we keep exhausting ourselves to obtain what has already been secured on our behalf? God made no mistakes when He created you or me. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. We either believe in his plan and find peace or we deny His sovereignty and continue striving.
Father, I ask that you help your children embrace the gifts given to us. When we accept who we were created to be and quit striving to be who we are not; we are free to find where our purpose intersects our passion, and it is then that we will impact the world; not in a perfect way but in your pre-planned way. Amen.
What am I going to do? How am I going to handle this? Several times over the last two weeks I have caught myself asking these questions. I didn’t realize there is a niche of narcissism hidden in my heart until exposed by my thought pattern.
Every time my mind defaulted to one of those questions, I received a question back. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness! The responses to my questions were a unified theme-ME. “What are YOU going to do?” “How are YOU going to handle this?”
Do you see my problem here? I was exalting myself and excluding God.
Also, in those moments of fear, my first line of defense was panic instead of prayer. When I am under pressure, I easily forget the Source of my security. Control, micromanagement, and self-reliance are such insidious impostures that lead me down a path planned by my flesh instead of a passage paved by my Father.
I am grateful for the reminder that it was time for a self-demotion in exchange for a Savior promotion.
Life is so much lighter when I settle into my designed role as a child of a Father, who knows and controls all things. My planning hands rarely prosper, and life becomes futile; it is when I leave room for God to mold my purpose that living becomes fruitful.
Father, remind all your children who need to remember when we are prone to fighting for ourselves that Jesus’ victory belongs to us. In all the ways, we deceive ourselves into believing we are in control, whisper that peaceful word that is too elusive in our hearts and minds-rest. May we lay down all our plans, schemes and weapons intended to forge our plans for life and remember that You have already written our entire story with Your Sovereign Hands. Father, I confess, I get overwhelmed by demanding days; tempting me to maximize myself and minimize you. When I do this, chaos becomes my company, fear becomes my friend and anxiety becomes my advisor. Quickly convict my heart and direct me back to Your promises, the only resivor of rest for riddled ragamuffins like me. Amen.
One of the hardest lessons The Lord very intentionally worked on with me as I grew was that someone else’s sin was not justification for mine. Have I mastered this; no, but I am very aware of it.
Life is messy. We all get hurt. People wound us and sometimes shatter our lives as we knew them. It is very normal to feel outrage towards our offenders. Our temper, however, must be disciplined not destructive.
When someone hurts you, or someone you love; don’t let their sin justify yours. Bridling our emotions does not mean we forget, and all is fine; it means we are free.
It is not our responsibility to punish or judge others. Galatians 6:7 says ~Don’t be misled–you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. We are only responsible for our actions and reactions, not those of others. Self-control is hard, but it is holy. As far as I know God is still God and he is not taking applications for His successor.
The last month The LORD has been working a lot in my heart. Specifically in two ways I am aware of and probably in others that I am unconsciously aware, too. Life is hard! Parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. Life is hard!
Recently we have been dealing with a difficult issue that broke my heart for all parties involved that arose from gossip. I think we all forget, gossip is a sin. I know I have to be very mindful of it. A very knowledgeable friend gave me the best advice I have ever received regarding gossip; ”If you are not part of the problem or the solution, then you should not be talking.” That is very sound counsel that I try to use as a filter for my words before I speak. I am imperfect. I am also vulnerable to the devastation of gossip, as is everyone breathing.
As I have been reeling in pain lately, an older, wiser friend reminded me, “D’Anna, God your Father is much greater than you a mother, spouse, daughter, friend…” At that moment, her words were the balm for my aching soul. Although I was deeply affected by what happened, I was reminded I was not, and never am fully in charge of anyone’s well-being, even my children. God is in charge, and His ways are always perfect, although sometimes very painful!
The second way the Lord has been refining me is that I did not realize how much responsibility I was carrying for people’s actions around me. I am quick to forget that I am only responsible for myself, and while I may play a role in how people act, I am not responsible. They are! Taking responsibility has been a tremendous amount of weight I have been bearing.
Recently when I was sitting in quiet reflection, these words became audible in my head. “No matter how someone acts, it should not affect how you are called to react.” Does that mean I do not respond at all? No. It simply means God originally designed me to react in a manner that is pleasing to Him, not me. Also, I am not responsible for the actions of others–they are. Friends, starting to understand that concept is the beginning of a large dose of freedom. Practicing this has allowed me to love better and live bolder. It is like getting a haircut, having a thorough house cleaning or getting all the laundry done. You just feel lighter!
Taking on the responsibility for the actions of others crushes us and allows the enemy to win. He does not want us delivered; he wants us defeated. Taking the liability for your prodigal child, your struggling spouse, your suffering friend or whomever in your life that you are enmeshed with creates insanity. We definitely have a role in the lives and circumstances of the people we love, but NOT ultimate responsibility. God The Father is much bigger than we the (fill in the blank.) Who are you bearing responsibility for today? Lay them at the feet of Jesus and pray for them because YOU cannot perfect them. May you all be free to let your Father be in charge today and every day.