Jesus Holds Our Little Lambs

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Yesterday was a difficult day for me as a mom. Some days our hardest job is remembering that God does not get it wrong-ever! In no circumstance is this a harder fight than circumstances involving our children. My son suffered a traumatic brain injury last July. His cognitive recovery has been a struggle. School is a struggle. Life is a struggle.

His neuropsychologist and case manager spoke with me about considering placing him on a life skills tract as opposed to a diploma/college track at school. He is in the ninth grade. The doctor said his cognitive scores place him within the category of a life skills track. These were very tough words to digest. I tried to put my best armor on and let the words bounce off of me, but the tears were tougher, and they won out.

The emotions are still raw from that tragic day. I think they always will be. A sight, a sound, a smell, a memory; they can all trigger a rush of emotion that no amount of effort can contain. My son is forever changed. I am forever changed. Our family is forever changed. This is not all ominous news. Change chiseled from crisis forges character, perseverance, deeper faith and so much more. The fruits born out of frustration are often some of the sweetest.

My son is not a victim, and I refuse to be either. Once we take on that role we put limitations on ourselves. We also maximize our sufficiency and minimize the soverignty of our Savior. I am sad that the circumstances are as they are. I hurt, I ache and at times I worry about the future. In all my fleshly responses, a voice keeps echoing in my head, BUT GOD. That is my life preserver friends! Test scores are indicators, but they are not dictators. Doctor’s opinions are assessments, but they are not absolutes. I much prefer the infallible provisions of My Provider to the fallible predictions of man.

I don’t know at this time what our decision about our sons’ school track will be. I am not ready to make that decision, nor am I ready to confine him to the limitations of a label. Labels we put on things are typically stickers. Over time, they are prone to fall off. I choose not to rely on labels, I prefer to rest in the hope of providential plans.

Yesterday I heard this quote from my friend, Julie Sparkman, of Restore Ministries. During the third session of her bible study series, Unhitching From the Crazy Train, she said, “Getting under the yoke with Jesus does not give you a different life; it gives you a different way of doing life.” Those words spoke so poignantly to my heart.

No matter what obstacles you or I are confronting today friends, our hope does not rest in the what of our struggle. It resides in the Who of our surrender. That is great news! This truth is a rest for our weary souls. Will you fight to reside here with me? Jesus holds our little lambs.

Mana For My Moment

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Sometimes God’s acknowledgements are just too sweet not to share for His glory. I woke up feeling exhausted and weary this morning. Just after praying I blindly opened my Bible after asking that my eyes land in a place of mana for the moment. Portions of my prayer were this: …refresh me through you word, Father. Get my heart and mind vertical with you before I attempt to engage a horizontal world. Show me your glory today. Let me be still before you. Help me be like a CHILD before you today; dependent, unassuming and and trusting. Thank you for loving me as a needy, inadequate child. Show up for me today and let me know you are in this moment. This picture was His little God-incidence for me today! How sweet He is!

Still a Child

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I have to be honest; there are days I find myself wishing I was not an adult.   Today is the perfect example.   I have a meeting that I am not looking forward to handling.   It is a continuously challenging situation that chides and chisels away at the depth of my joy if I am not attentive to it.

Like many days, I am fighting to choose the beauty of perspective.   Perspective is a priceless art.   It tells me that if this is the most difficult thing I encounter today, it will still be a pretty good day.

The reality of life is that some days responsibilities are heavy, and difficult situations arise that we have to navigate.   I catch myself thinking, how wonderful to be the child again and have an adult handle all the arduous assignments.   This morning God tenderly reminded me that I am still the child-His child.

As a believer, we never enter strenuous situations alone, and I am not called to figure it all out, just to rest and receive.   Whew is that hard! It seems illogical that rest should be so illusive, but we all know it to be, friends.   Maybe like me, you find resolving much easier than resting.

I am very forgetful to remember that I, like you, have a faithful and loving Father, who goes before and with us.   He enters into those anxious and scary places as the adult, and we like the child if we allow ourselves to abide in his authority.

I am so thankful for the truth in Exodus 33:14 this morning~ The Lord replies, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”   When I can not just read this, but also reap it, my day becomes so much lighter.   I shrivel to think where I would be without the soul stabilizers of God’s promises.

Whatever is confronting you today, tomorrow or next week, may you find the grace to concede as a child of God and find peace in His assured provisions.

Words

My family spent the past week in Dallas visiting family, relaxing, taking in football and basketball games and eating a lot of good food-good Mexican food! Oh, my expanding waistline, but that is a story for another time!

Seven nights in a hotel can be a challenge for a family of four. It is a series of tests in patience, perseverance, sharing, holding your bladder, letting a little modesty go and so much more. We did pretty well, but the week was not without snags.

When our agendas get busy, we get tired, and frustration begins to taint the air. Our self-control is put to the test. Sadly, but not surprisingly, we all failed at times throughout the week. The most common way this presents in our family is we get short, snippy and sometimes sloppy with our words. By the middle of the week, it was apparent that taming our tongues and loving each other well was proving to be a challenge.

After five nights, I woke up and was reading a post from a friend, Jennifer Lee. She wrote about having home church while on vacation. She wrote that her uncle lead church and it was based on 1 Corinthians 13. Everyone read the love passage and everywhere the word love appeared; they inserted their names.

I immediately opened my Bible and took this to task for myself. Wow! Was that an uncomfortable and convicting experience. I decided when the kids woke up; I was going to talk to them about my need to apologize and repent for any instances I had been unkind or lacked gentleness the last few days. Then read them 1 Corinthians 13.

I read it to them inserting my name in all the places for love. It was very hard to do this by myself, and ten times harder to do it in front of my family. I suppose that would be expected because we often tend to be the most negligent with those who love us most. Maybe it is because we are together so much that we are comfortable. Maybe it is because we know they will love us no matter what? Maybe we take each other for granted, or it is just because we are sinners and sometimes our fallen nature gets the best of us. Whatever the reason, our families sadly do not experience our kindest side enough. This in itself was convicting to me, and something to pray about.

This is what I read to my family:
D’Anna is patient; D’Anna is kind. D’Anna does not envy; she does not boast; D’Anna is not proud. She does not dishonor others; D’Anna is not self-seeking, D’Anna is not easily angered, She keeps no record of wrongs. D’Anna does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. D’Anna always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I was now choking, coughing, flushed and a little squeamish as I read. This is a tough task! Lord Jesus, how I need you every hour, every minute of every day.

I am so glad The Lord was faithful to lead me to read Jennifer’s post and subsequently explore those verses for myself. I think I need to use this exercise as a soul check frequently.

When quiet time becomes sparse, it is always to my detriment. I cannot stay grounded and strong in soul integrity when my core has not been marinating in the word of God. Life is too hard, and circumstances fray my edges. A consistent prayer time is essential to strengthen me. The word of God is our best armor. I am weak and vulnerable without it.

Think about it like this- a half cooked egg versus a hard boiled egg. A half cooked egg when cut into, the yoke, (or the center), runs everywhere. A hard boiled egg is much more resilient, and the center stays in tact because it is firm. When my center is not firm in the word of God, I run everywhere with my words, my emotions, my feelings… Alternatively, when I have my necessary and consistent quiet times, my center is much stronger, and I can withstand more pressure without falling apart.

There are seasons that our time with God does suffer. This is why a check-in activity like in 1 Corinthians is beneficial. It is a like a re-set button for our souls. It is not to shame us into being nice and getting it together. It is to remind us why we need a Savior. Thank you, Jesus for saving me!

Joyce Meyer often says that when we get saved we sometimes forget that our mouth is supposed to get saved along with the rest of us. Isn’t that the truth! Taming the tongue is an ongoing challenge for all of us but never should it be abandoned.

Isaiah 55:10-11 says: As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

This is great news. God’s word will not return void. It will accomplish what He desires and achieve the purpose for which it was sent. His word was given to be within us so that it may strengthen us and stream from us. God’s word is not just meant to be read. It is meant to be reaped in our lives. When we have His truths in our hearts, on our minds and in our souls, they begin to shape the way we speak, respond, act, make decisions, relate to others…God’s word is fuel for our empty bodies. It fills us with patience, gentleness, kindness, self-control and other desirable fruits we cannot obtain from our striving.

Sometimes people hurt us, and we convince ourselves that harsh words are justified. Sometimes toxic words just spew out before we even think. This is dangerous! It is hard to take back what has already been said. Truth is always helpful but never when it is delivered through hurtful words.

It often feels good just to let our words loose on someone, but only for a fleeting moment. The momentary satisfaction I feel in ranting does not out weigh the peace I feel in reserving. Life is so much lighter when self-control defeats self-satisfaction.

Self-control, taming the tongue, gentleness, they become hard when life becomes hectic. Our unkept schedules, however, are never an excuse for our unkind sentiments. Our actions and our reactions should be like indicator lights. When they go off, and the light is red, it may be time to start evaluating what we are running off of. If the answer is not adequate spiritual space, and it most likely is not, then it may be time for a service call.

Our words hold so much power. I was asking myself these questions today as I was reflecting on our week:
Do I use my words to inspire or insult?
Do I use my words to commend or criticize?
Are my words someone’s ax or their antidote?

In God’s economy, there is always good news. For you and me, it is that God is never surprised by our actions. He already knows our tendencies and He loves us regardless. That is not an excuse to stay stuck, but motivation to surrender. I love the promise in Isaiah 30:15~In repentance and rest is your salvation. In quietness and trust is your strength. That is a soothing balm for shamed souls like you and me friends. Will you rest in that wonderful news with me?

Lord Jesus,
Divorcing love from truth is to engage cruelty. Divorcing truth from love is to enable a charade. Your word teaches love and truth are meant to be united, always. This is the only way to speak to the core of truth without wounding the core of a person. When days get busy, to-do lists get long and chaos ensues, Father I have a tendency to not be a good steward of my tongue. When I hold in frustration too long or don’t address matters promptly, the pressure builds just waiting for the prime moment to explode, leaving words of hot, burning ash to fall on someone I love. Never do I want this, Father. Give me the wisdom and patience to hold my tongue until my heart and soul are settled not seething. Jesus, give me the grace to tame my tongue, always using it to build people up, never to break them down. In the moments when I fail, and you already know this of me, I will, prick my heart towards prompt repentance that is the precursor for grace lending rest. Amen.

Share Your Story

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People are like books. Our lives tell a story. Everyone has chapters of triumph and tragedy, grief and gratitude, success and struggle. All of our stories depict beauty and brokenness. Those parts of our story-the broken ones- are usually the most poignant. Embrace them. Search for the meaning and the message nestled within them. Share them. Our triumph over tribulation is for our growth and God’s glory.

Running After Dirty Water

About a year ago we added a puppy to our family.  She has brought a lot of joy to our home.  There have been some ups and downs as there always are with a puppy, but more and more I notice the positives.
Yes, she is a dog, but she is also a teacher.  It is amazing how God can transplant His presence and instruction into any person, place, thing or situation.  Like a chameleon, God’s truths adapt to all surroundings. As we become familiar with Him, we develop a keen eye and acute ear for His presence, and the areas where He is convicting our hearts.

I see valuable lessons in the life of our puppy every day.  By the way, her name is Paisley, which means, the church.  It only fits that she would bear a name that is indicative of a place where people go to learn, grow and feel loved.

Loved.  Is that not the deepest inclination of so many hearts?  Few people this side of the garden know a more pure, rich form of unadulterated and genuine love than that of a dog.  If only I were half as good most days as I am every day in Paisley’s eyes.  If I loved like her,  always unconditional, cheerful and consistent, how my joy would multiply.  She is an example of how to love and be loved with no hesitation, terms or conditions.  She is an example of how Jesus loves us!

Many people have reported this kind of organic love and loyalty of dogs.  Although it is a highly important lesson, and one I am thankful she reminds me of daily, God has revealed much more to me through Paisley.

There is an area on our sidewalk that forms a corner.  Dirt and rainwater collect there, making it a well of dirty water.  This dirty water has become an alluring temptation for Paisley.  She has fresh, clean, life sustaining water available to her all day.  Her water bowl sits in the same place, and it never moves. Invariably Paisley will scratch the door to go out in order to run for a drink of the dirty water.

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Yesterday in my frustration of her repetitive, wrong and potentially hazardous behavior, I went out to stand guard over the murky water.  As I was walking towards her with her head down drinking, a teaching moment transpired in my head.  I am a lot like Paisley!  I have a Savior, who is always present and immoveable.  He provides an abundance of fresh, living water to me every day.  I know that. I know where the living water is and Who it comes from, but how many times in my flesh born tendency do I opt for dirty water?

I am running after dirty water every time my eyes, ears, heart, and mind become attracted to the idols of this world.  I run after dirty water each time I try and maneuver my plans into alignment with my wishes, not the will of my Father.  I am drinking dirty water when I worry or plan excessively, which in reality is control indigenous to unbelief. I am resorting to dirty water when I lose my patience with my children, husband or someone who thwarts my purpose, or threatens my misplaced righteousness.  I am running to dirty water when I forget prayer as my first line of defense and look for solutions inherent of the world.  I am running after dirty water when I look to anesthetize a desire in anything outside of Jesus.

There are so many instances I run after dirty water.  It is comforting to me that Jesus is not surprised by this.  Nor is He disappointed in me.  His well of nourishing water is always available, and it rests under an umbrella for sinners like me who need to run back and find a refreshing drink in the shade of His amazing grace.

Whose water are you drinking; that drawn from the soil or that flowing from The Savior?  It is never too late to switch sources. This verse in Isaiah is equivalent to a cool, cleansing drink of regenerative water.

Isaiah 30:15
This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength.”

Father, forgive us all the times we run for dirty water.  You know this is our sinful inclination.  You also know our hearts true desire is to grow in obedience to You.  When we squander our focus, gently redirect our gaze back to you, the only source that will adequately quench our thirst.  May we find rest in your patience and grace.  Amen.

Prayerful Plea

As a newborn baby cries out for their every need of thirst, hunger, pain… We, too, must cry out to our Father, and He will quench, feed and soothe us in our distress. Father, help us to ask you today to meet us in all the areas we are bleeding. Hold the hurting, pacify the painful and bless us in all our brokenness. Thank you for the incarnation that branded your compassion and empathy into the toil of our fallen world. Thank you for the resurrection that affirmed our admittance into a beautiful eternity. Amen.

Wait Expectantly

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In life everything begins and ends, succeeds or succumbs, in the perspective of our thoughts. We can view the minute and the magnificent through the lens of miraculous or mundane. We control very little in this world, but we do have the power to control what and how we think. I have been trying to get a very important picture blown up for over a week now. I only had a small thumbnail because it was taken on Instagram by someone I did not know. After tracking down the photographer, I learned she no longer had the original. I don’t understand all the photography jargon like resolution, pixels, etc….However, every place in town told me I would be lucky to get a clear 5×7 and possibly a blurry 8×10. They all told me my request was impossible! Feeling frustrated and out of options today, I had a little talk with God this morning. I told Him that I was going to remember today that He is bigger than any and every NO from man. After that, I prayed, and then went online and ordered a 20×30 of my tiny picture. Ambitious-right? I have waited all day expectantly to pick the enlargement up. One word-perfect! I am choosing to believe this was a miracle because the picture itself represents the power of prayer and the presence of miracles. Psalm 5:3~Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

Daily Prayer For Living Beyond Feelings

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There are many substitutes for feeling good Father.  Positive feelings and “being happy” become states of entitlement where we begin to believe we should always abide.  Train us to remember that feelings are fluid and fallible, disqualifying them as credible sources of truth or qualified indicators for making decisions.   It is an eternal joy; which is not circumstantial;  that is sustaining Father because it originates from You.  Joy accentuates us in times of abundance and anchors us in seasons of affliction.  We draw joy and happiness from different wells Father.  That sometimes becomes confusing in a world betrayed by the deception of “happily ever after.”  The bible says the joy of The Lord is our strength, (Nehemiah 8:10).  Assist us in living free of the entanglement of feelings and emotions and strengthen us in persevering joy.  Amen.

Our Greatest Grievances Are Our Most Priceless Gifts

 

Sewn within every great struggle, and branded into every thread of brokenness are immense possibilities. Ministry, connection, growth and healing grant our greatest grievances capabilities to be molded into our most priceless gifts.