In a world where entitlement is pervasive, and happiness is an objective, Father secure my eyes upon You. For it is through imploding plans and serial struggles that we are afforded unique opportunities to magnify your character. In all the areas, I wrestle; Jesus prepare me to be a good steward of your name. I constantly fall short of standards for approval born of this world, leaving me vulnerable to comparison that is void of joy, but full of condemnation. You look upon me with affectionate eyes laced with grace, not seeking superior performance, but a surrendered heart. Allow me to rest, not in my critical view nor the criterion of this world, but in the secure shelter of your abundant mercy and amazing grace. Amen.
Tag: God
My Daily Prayer
My Daily Prayer:
Father as we start another busy week already feeling a little worn, keep us conscious that busyness is often like a narcotic. It can distract, delay and deter us from truth, circumstances, people, and more importantly-You. It is hard to hear You and be obedient to Your paths amidst the chaos of schedules, commitments and activities. May we trim excess where we can so that there is always room to hear and be held by You. Our culture is after our hearts, eyes, minds, bodies, souls and our time. May we remember saying no and honoring our boundaries is smart not selfish. Bless us with the grace to pursue peace above pleasing
people, quiet not chaos and sound souls above social ones. We take no talents, possessions, medals, grades or accomplishments with us Home Father. Shelter us from taking pride in false treasures that will turn to dust. Amen.
My Daily Prayer
I do not see, but I will follow.
I do not hear, but I will listen.
I do not comprehend, but I will fight to believe. Heavenly Father help all those who are struggling through pain, suffering and unthinkable trials today to trust and rest in you. May we all walk not by our senses or understanding, but guided by faith that although sometimes is shaken, it is never shattered!
Amen
Shedding Souls
Our bodies seem to have been created for sloughing? Sloughing is defined as the act of casting off dead tissue or cells. According to The American Academy of Dermatology, the average person looses anywhere from 50 to 100 strands of hair a day. We loose an estimated one million skin cells per hour. This is not only natural, but necessary for optimal health. If this is the way our bodies were made to function on the outside, why should our insides be any different?
When I fail to remember the value, and importance of shedding the built up atrophy of my soul, I head down a frail path. Life, responsibilities and circumstances build up and form layers of dead weight that are important to yield in order to give our minds and bodies rest.
Why do we carry burdens and worries so long? I often bottle worries deep inside me and bear them longer than needed. Then when I cannot shoulder the weight anymore, I have to make a critical choice; I either shed them or become subordinate to them.
Have you ever noticed how good you feel after you release a burden to a trusted friend? It can sometimes feel like an extreme weight loss. We just feel lighter. A load has been lifted, and we can breathe with less effort.
Not too long ago, my son was wearing the weight of a heavy burden that had been enslaving him too long. He finally reached a point where he could not keep it at bay anymore. He needed to “shed” the weight of his heart to someone. He said it all from behind the voice of one trying to hold it all in, but tainted with the sound of tears. I knew that sound. He could not hide it. Not from me. Not from me who knows him so well. So he released it all bravely, and then he was rescued by a deep, desperate sleep.
Isn’t that an organic picture of life? We try to hold it all in, and conceal that which opposes us. We try hard, and then a little harder to not be found. Then there comes a point when we are pinned under the pressure of the fire we are walking through, and we release it in a spewing of toxic ash that has been brewing under the surface.
It is in those times, when we let ourselves be fully known that we can be fully loved. It is those moments of true identity and authenticity that afford us the pacifying balm that our true self-longs for every day. It’s in the most desperate moments that we are most receptive to receiving the mending, and comfort of Jesus, who already knows us just as we are anyway. Masking of inadequacies only delays God’s refurbishment.
We live in a world that is in the business of replacing all that is broken, but Jesus is in the business of restoration. We shoulder burdens and limitations that we were never meant to bear. Why do we delay our recovery so long? There comes moments in this life when it takes more courage to fall apart in the presence of someone who loves us than it does to keep it all together.
At the heart of us all we just really want to be seen, heard and understood. This is a beckoning to trust in our Savior who in His timing restores, and makes all things strong and steadfast. Part of the renewal process is releasing all the rot that begins to infest our souls.
Restoration rarely happens how we envision it, and never as timely as we would like, but all good things have to happen on a timetable that is outside of ourselves. Overseen and orchestrated by The One who knitted us together, every little detail, with his soft, sovereign hands.
I am thankful for those moments when courage wins. I am thankful for glimpses of people’s true identity. I pray as we all mature in our secure standing of Christ’s righteousness that we will become more comfortable shedding the layers of entanglement and trade them in for the acceptance and love that transparency affords.
It is in our purest identity that we are open to the most beautiful of possibility. May we all embrace, learn from and release all things that embattle us. We were given them for a reason, a resource and as a bridge for restoration.
Weary Hearts
For weary souls and feeble hearts, remember this today:
It isn’t in the midst of great times and a carefree life that God comes after hearts. Nor is it within the paramaters of easy that souls become dehydrated enough to thirst after Him, and the living water that only Jesus can offer.
No matter how much you are hurting, or whatever circumstances you are enduring, God is working much more in and through your pain and frustration than He ever could your happiness.
Fight to believe that, and speak that truth to yourself repeatedly until it gives you rest!
Soul Maintenance
We are having a good number of windows replaced around our house the next few days. As I am sitting here watching these guys rip away the old; it occurred to me I am watching a picture of life.
These windows needed caulked and painted a long time ago, and because they were not, that lapse of care allowed for environmental elements to compromise not only the windows, but their surrounding support structures, too. The more they take out; the more decomposition years of neglect exposes.
Disregard transitions the process of restoration from superficial to deep rooted.
I am a lot like those windows. Whether it be my health, my relationships, nourishment of my soul…neglect creates a threshold for degeneration in all those realms. Once rot sets in, over time it runs deeper and deeper through those areas, just like my windows.I can unknowingly arrive at a place of deep disintegration simply from a failure to consistently maintain.
The demands of life can keep me distracted and busy. It becomes easy to disregard soul maintenance above all things. When I become negligent in my time spent with The Lord, unwanted impostures take root in my heart. You may know some of them? Anxiety, worry, and fear are a few of the familiar ones.
My mind and heart require daily nourishment and cleansing to protected me from destructive paths. Proverbs 4:23 illustrates this so beautifully ~Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Part of guarding my heart requires consistent, fruitful nourishment. It is not an efficient process, but it is highly effective.
When I neglect my spiritual well being, days become exhausting. Life is already difficult. It is essential to be intentional so that I may weather storms without the threat of deep-rooted destruction.
Oh How He Loves Us
I picked up my Bible this morning feeling weary. World events, daily challenges, people I love that are hurting; it all takes a toll. I asked God before opening his word, to let my eyes fall on what I needed to see this morning. Also, that He would equip me with the grace to not just see, but to understand and subsequently live.
With one providentially designed flip of my Bible, my eyes landed on 2 Corinthians 4:10~ Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Wow, I love that! It is in no other place than our suffering that the glory, power, faithfulness and love of Jesus can be illuminated so profoundly and with such clarity. This may sound counterintuitive to you, but I find honor in the fact that we have the opportunity through or tribulations to reflect the image of Jesus to others.
His reflection does not mean pasting on a fake smile every day, and saying God is in control. It does not mean we say to our friends, “I’m doing fine;” when that is not the case. Sometimes it means remembering life is hard, and I am human, but I have hope in a Savior who shares in my struggles. He collects every tear and gently stores them in a bottle. He sees scars inside us that only are visible to Him, and soothes them with a balm that He singularly possesses.
Living as I say I believe means remembering that although God may appear quiet at times, I trust His understanding, not mine. God answers every prayer the moment we voice them with one of three answers; yes, no or wait. Remembering that and being open to His wisdom, and not bound to my expectations is an ingredient to peace.
Life may lead us down many dirt roads, but with Jesus we never travel those dusty roads alone. It is on those very paths He reveals Himself to us, and our faith and trust in Him become stronger and real.
Oh, how He loves us! His love is too deep for us to know easy all the time. That would only give us a strong foothold in self-sufficiency.
He loves us enough that He wants us to seek and know him in an intimate relationship. I would never arrive there if everything were always easy. I don’t enjoy trials. When my mind is redirected to their primary purpose, though; how can I not be grateful?
This life is not eternal. It is just our prelude to Heaven. It is our warm up, our training camp, our one and only run through before we enter Heaven’s gates. If we are lucky; at some point in this life we authentically mature to a degree where our soul’s deepest desire is nothing this life can afford us. Our deepest longing becomes to know a Savior with such a thirst that our hearts song is; come Lord Jesus come so that I may see your face. My journey is teaching me that we arrive at this destination through the experential character of a loving Father whose faithfulness and glory shine brightest through our darkest days.
There is Beauty in the Crisis
It was exactly 5 weeks ago yesterday that Carter’s accident occurred, and our family began a new journey carved out of crisis. The definition of crisis is: A crucial or decisive point or situation, especially a difficult or unstable situation involving an impending change. It is the very identity of the word that sheds light on our fate of victim or victor. A crisis diverges into two roads, and the direction we walk either creates or conquers us.
There is so much potential, opportunity and beauty that can be born out of crisis. It is something most dread. None of us would choose it, but unfortunately it sometimes chooses us. It’s where we react from when our name is called that writes our story of one who soared or succumbed. It is not the strength of our faith, or the amount of knowledge we possess, but Who possesses us that determines our destiny as we travel through a crisis.
Today Carter was in the neuropsychologists office for 6.5 hours of cognitive testing. I picked him up at 11:30 for an hour lunch break. He ate about five bites of food, and immediately fell asleep in the car. He was huddled in the seat with the sun piercing the windows shining warmly on his face. It had been 2.5 hours into his day and he was exhausted. The taxing of his mind in that short time was a lofty challenge.
Before falling asleep he told me: my eyes hurt, I feel pressure in my head and my vision is blurry. He said it all from behind the voice of one trying to hold it all in, but tainted with the sound of tears. I knew that sound. He could not hide it. Not from me. Not from me who knows him so well. So he released it all bravely, and then he was rescued by a deep, desperate sleep.
Isn’t that an organic picture of life? We try to hold it all in, and conceal that which opposes us. We try hard, and then a little harder to not be found. Then there comes a point when we are pinned under the pressure of the fire we are walking through, and we release it in a spewing of toxic ash that has been brewing under the surface. It is in those times, when we let ourselves be fully known that we can be fully loved. It is those moments of true identity and authenticity that afford us the pacifying balm that our true self longs for everyday. It’s in the most desperate moments that we are most receptive to receiving the mending, and comfort of Jesus, who already knows us just as we are anyway.
Masking of inadequacies only delays His refurbishment. We live in a world that is in the business of replacing all that is broken, but Jesus is in the business of restoration. It was right there in my car today that Carter was allowed to fall apart and risk being fully recognized. It was also there in that hot, cramped parking lot of his favorite burger place that I was reminded that this is how it goes. We carry things far too long. We shoulder burdens and limitations that we were never meant to bear. Why do we delay our recovery so long?
There comes moments in this life when it takes more courage to fall apart in the presence of someone who loves us than it does to keep it all together. At the heart of us all we just really want to be seen, heard and understood.
Today, again was a call to trust in our Savior who in His timing restores, and makes all things strong and steadfast. In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.~1 Peter 5:10
Restoration rarely happens how we envision it, and never as timely as we would like, but all good things have to happen on a timetable that is outside of ourselves. Overseen and orchestrated by The One who knitted us together, every little detail, with his soft and sovereign hands.
I am thankful for those moments when courage wins. I am thankful for glimpses of Carter’s true struggle today. I pray as he matures that he will become more and more comfortable shedding the layers of protection and trading them in for the acceptance and love that transparency affords. It is in our purest identity that we are open to the most beautiful of possibility. May we all embrace those things that embattle us. We were given them for a reason, a resource and as a bridge for restoration. Much love and thankfulness for all of your prayers and support in so many ways.
An Unbelieving Believer
Life is about enjoying, but as Christians, more than we are comfortable admitting, it is often more about enduring…enduring the diagnosis, enduring the loss of a job, broken relationships, the addiction, the absence of a prodigal child or spouse who likely may never return home. Life is about enduring the daily news, which everyday seems to stir anxiety and summon fear. It’s about enduring the loss of a parent, a sibling and even a child. The unthinkable, the horrific, the unfair, none of these are strangers to this life we inhabit, and all of them are cloaked around someone who often does not deserve such pain.
Jesus did not deserve such pain.
Pain is not partial in this life, but perseverance is. Perseverance is reserved only for those who are fueled by a joy that cannot be bought or manufactured, but given by a relationship with a God who is the only one that can sustain us through extinguishable trials.
This life is full of moments that bring us joy, but equally those that challenge the depth of our faith in a God whose perceived silence feels deafening in the darkest of circumstances. It is those circumstances, the dark ones, the ones that threaten our identity as a believer, and reveal the fundamental theology that we are living off of. Sometimes this revelation is not what we would expect, especially to “believers.”
“You are an unbelieving believer.”
These painful, piercing words were spoken to define me three years ago, by someone who had my best interest at heart. Like a ball of fire that wold burn my soul, they seared me to my core. It made me mad, it made me cry, and for a short time, I did not like her. I did not like her until I realized she was absolutely right!
I was going through a hard time. I was stumbling, struggling and sometimes stalling life down a very unstable road. Worry, anxiety and fear were my friends. They were the trinity that were ruling my life. I was an unbelieving believer, because I was not living off of the truths of the gospel. I was living off of the fears of an opportunistic, fallen world that can easily overtake those who are not deeply anchored to the rock of life-Jesus.
If we believe God is sovereign, if we believe He works all things for the good, if we believe He will not abandon us…how is there room for excessive worry, anxiety and fear in our lives? There was in mine three years ago, because saying you believe and even thinking you believe are not the same as living as you believe.
Belief is a very active, ongoing, moment to moment renewal to fight to live that which we say we know. It is not enough to know, we have to fight to really know. It is not enough to hear, we have to fully engage to really hear. It is not even enough to see, we have to seek to really see for ourselves, otherwise, how can we really believe?
It is not that we should strive to go through this life worry free, anxiety free and fear free. That is not possible, I know! The goal is to live this life reflecting the goodness, faithfulness and character of a God who is carrying us well through all those difficult times.
We are allowed to be afraid, Jesus was afraid to the point of what was described in Luke as sweating blood. We are allowed to have worry and anxiety, but none of these things will have us if God completely has our hearts, our minds and our beliefs surrendered and anchored to His promises.
A life of surrender looks a lot different, and it feels a lot different. It feels light and free and it looks not always smooth, but definitely safe.
May we all fight the good fight of belief, even when it makes no sense. May we fight to believe when we don’t want to, and worry and fear seem like a more appealing choice. May we fight hardest when God seems quietest. May we all remember that although HE sometimes is seemingly silent, HE is never still. You never endure alone. Spend a little time with Jesus today and allow him to engage you in your endurance. He will give you rest.
The Rescue is in the Relationship
I know a lot of you are facing some very difficult circumstances. Trails and hardships that threaten your desire to wake up, to get dressed, to smile, and carry on. I can confidently say I am familiar with that place. A few years ago, I went through a trial that positioned me in such despair that I gained a new identity-victim. Life alternates between numbness, crying, anger and fear there. I was drowning in a set of circumstances with no life preserver.
Why? I had plenty of friends for support. I went to a good church, and had all my life. I had a supportive family. I had every provision I needed. I had…I had…I had so much, yet none of it was enough to save me from my own despair. It was there, broken and helpless, that God found me.
It’s a perplexing thing to understand. I had been in church all my life. He hadn’t found me, or I him before? No! I had found a religion, not a relationship. I had found a lot of laws, not a lot of grace. I had found a lot of truth and not a lot of freedom. I had found a book called the Bible, but not the gospel. I had heard but I didn’t really hear. I saw, but didn’t really see, and I knew, but didn’t really know, didn’t really know-HIM.
It was not until I entered the darkest place that I began to find the light. For when things are always bright we cannot see, and when we cannot see we will eventually stumble. I say all this to encourage you that when life feels overwhelming, unbearable and hopeless, we can choose hope and peace, because it is in the darkness that we see the light, and it is only by the light that we find our way.
Rescue comes in the Relationship, and I did very little on my own to initiate that. All I did was start showing up, and some days it was a battle to do that! I can tell you, though, once you have been dragged through a dense forest, once you have been redeemed from victim to victor, subsequent trails, which are no doubt inevitable, become such a different experience! If for no other reason they draw us into compete lack of self-sufficiency, and into complete dependance upon a Savior. The more you need someone, the more you get to know them. Then a curious thing happens, the more you get to know Jesus, the more you want to spend time with him, and it only gets sweeter from there.
I’m not going to lie, some circumstances are outright unthinkable, but you can choose to find one positive thing in the midst of them, and that is an invitation…come broken, come messy, come weary, come over burdened-just come! I will personally testify-HE will meet you there. Trust me, I am there a lot, and I do know!