Tag: gospel

Jesus Holds Our Little Lambs

- dannalundstrom 3 Comments

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Yesterday was a difficult day for me as a mom. Some days our hardest job is remembering that God does not get it wrong-ever! In no circumstance is this a harder fight than circumstances involving our children. My son suffered a traumatic brain injury last July. His cognitive recovery has been a struggle. School is a struggle. Life is a struggle.

His neuropsychologist and case manager spoke with me about considering placing him on a life skills tract as opposed to a diploma/college track at school. He is in the ninth grade. The doctor said his cognitive scores place him within the category of a life skills track. These were very tough words to digest. I tried to put my best armor on and let the words bounce off of me, but the tears were tougher, and they won out.

The emotions are still raw from that tragic day. I think they always will be. A sight, a sound, a smell, a memory; they can all trigger a rush of emotion that no amount of effort can contain. My son is forever changed. I am forever changed. Our family is forever changed. This is not all ominous news. Change chiseled from crisis forges character, perseverance, deeper faith and so much more. The fruits born out of frustration are often some of the sweetest.

My son is not a victim, and I refuse to be either. Once we take on that role we put limitations on ourselves. We also maximize our sufficiency and minimize the soverignty of our Savior. I am sad that the circumstances are as they are. I hurt, I ache and at times I worry about the future. In all my fleshly responses, a voice keeps echoing in my head, BUT GOD. That is my life preserver friends! Test scores are indicators, but they are not dictators. Doctor’s opinions are assessments, but they are not absolutes. I much prefer the infallible provisions of My Provider to the fallible predictions of man.

I don’t know at this time what our decision about our sons’ school track will be. I am not ready to make that decision, nor am I ready to confine him to the limitations of a label. Labels we put on things are typically stickers. Over time, they are prone to fall off. I choose not to rely on labels, I prefer to rest in the hope of providential plans.

Yesterday I heard this quote from my friend, Julie Sparkman, of Restore Ministries. During the third session of her bible study series, Unhitching From the Crazy Train, she said, “Getting under the yoke with Jesus does not give you a different life; it gives you a different way of doing life.” Those words spoke so poignantly to my heart.

No matter what obstacles you or I are confronting today friends, our hope does not rest in the what of our struggle. It resides in the Who of our surrender. That is great news! This truth is a rest for our weary souls. Will you fight to reside here with me? Jesus holds our little lambs.

The Sights and Sounds of Rest

- dannalundstrom

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I open my eyes and it’s 8:00 AM. I squint a little harder, surely I must not see right? I walk out onto the balcony, life giving reading material and breakfast in hand. As I sit trying to read, nature keeps stealing my attention. There is a gentle, but commanding breeze that is stirring up a chorus among the trees. Their leaves swish and sway in a harmony that beacons a deep exhale.There is a lizard with a bright blue tail gingerly exploring the deck. The water is calm and flowing like silk. The air is cool and feels fresh and crisp as it dances around me. There are birds chirping, signaling the start of a new day. They chirp and pause, chirp and pause as if they are in deep, connected conversation.

These are the sights and sounds of rest. These are the sights and sounds of peace, telling me it’s time to unplug and step off of the treadmill of the daily grind, and rest. It seems like such an easy invitation, so why is it so hard? It feels so natural yet so incongruent. It’s inviting and it’s awkward at the same time. It’s seemingly effortless but it takes focused intention.

Why? Why is that four letter, little word, rest, so hard? For me, I don’t live in that place near as much as I would like to, yet it is what we were created for. Rest in our minds; rest in our hearts and rest in our realities. Some realities are hard to rest in, and in those spaces I find myself fighting, fighting to make life work. Fighting to see the expectations I have created come to be, rather than be shattered before my eyes. Fighting to understand the realities of those that don’t seem fair and surely don’t make sense. It’s here I have to remind myself that expectations are the thieves of souls, as much as trying to understand HE who I am only called to know and trust, not comprehend.

So as the trees are singing a song of rest, and the harmony and chorus of nature is beckoning me, I hear a faint summons in my soul, asking me to lay it down. Lay it all down, and rest. As I listen to that calming voice, I am reminded of one of my favorite verses that always provokes a deep breath and a sense of calm within me: For now we see only a reflection in a mirror, then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.~1 Corinthians 13:12. I am fully known, and I am fully loved-that is rest!

Still a Child

- dannalundstrom

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I have to be honest; there are days I find myself wishing I was not an adult.   Today is the perfect example.   I have a meeting that I am not looking forward to handling.   It is a continuously challenging situation that chides and chisels away at the depth of my joy if I am not attentive to it.

Like many days, I am fighting to choose the beauty of perspective.   Perspective is a priceless art.   It tells me that if this is the most difficult thing I encounter today, it will still be a pretty good day.

The reality of life is that some days responsibilities are heavy, and difficult situations arise that we have to navigate.   I catch myself thinking, how wonderful to be the child again and have an adult handle all the arduous assignments.   This morning God tenderly reminded me that I am still the child-His child.

As a believer, we never enter strenuous situations alone, and I am not called to figure it all out, just to rest and receive.   Whew is that hard! It seems illogical that rest should be so illusive, but we all know it to be, friends.   Maybe like me, you find resolving much easier than resting.

I am very forgetful to remember that I, like you, have a faithful and loving Father, who goes before and with us.   He enters into those anxious and scary places as the adult, and we like the child if we allow ourselves to abide in his authority.

I am so thankful for the truth in Exodus 33:14 this morning~ The Lord replies, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”   When I can not just read this, but also reap it, my day becomes so much lighter.   I shrivel to think where I would be without the soul stabilizers of God’s promises.

Whatever is confronting you today, tomorrow or next week, may you find the grace to concede as a child of God and find peace in His assured provisions.

Rest for the Riddled Today

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

 

Hey you, hey me, the thirsty, the desperate, the depleted, the exhausted…those barriers, wounds and struggles in our lives are not present by accident.   They are there by assignment.   Things that challenge us to our core either create or crush us.   They are available for our gain and God’s glory.   The difference in destroying us or defining us is our resolve to find the meaning and mission in our messes.

Trials do not always come from God‘s hands, but they come through them.   We can rest in that. He has touched every tragedy and challenge before we endured it.

Our tears are sifted by God before they are shed by us.    He has held them, and He will heal them in His time and according to His purpose.

The new year is sometimes more of the old, the hard and the worn out.   You are not alone.   Let your perspective be colored by God’s purpose, not your pain.   He is working on our behalf.   Believe it, look for it, expect it and never lose hope!   We can give rest to our resolving, riddled souls, because one thing is for sure, relief will come through God’s strength, not our striving.   It will be in His timing not our tweaking. Father, give us all the grace to REST in your sovereign authority today and all days. When we forget, gently turn us away from our struggles and back to your safe shelter.   Amen.

The Christmas Gift That Almost Unwrapped Me

- dannalundstrom

 

In late November my husband told me he wanted to give our daughter a father/daughter week this summer at JH Ranch for Christmas.   That idea immediately sounded all the alarm buttons inside me, fear, anxiety, worry…

I love JH Ranch, their philosophy, the people and Who and what they represent.   Their programs are top notch and life changing, but I am still recovering from almost loosing our son last July in an accident while he was at camp there.   How could I agree to this? How could I even entertain the idea?   Was he crazy?   All these questions were brewing a chaotic storm in my heart and mind.

As quickly as that storm was surging, something else was surfacing.   Not something but Someone.   God’s truth began gently, quietly and consistently streaming in my head.   God does not call us to a life of fear.   2 Timothy 1:7~For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.   I was not wanting to hear that in my moment of melting.   I wanted to be fearful-very fearful! In this circumstance, fear seemed like a much safer choice.   However, I know this about God; he does not leave his children stuck in known places of “safety” He leads us to unknown positions of surrender.

It took me some time to be at peace with the decision to give our daughter that Christmas gift.   I did not want to, but I knew I was being called to.   Obedience to God’s will is seldom easy.   It often grieves us but always grows us.   It challenges us, and it chisels us into His image.   2 Timothy 3:16~All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness.

When we step into the shadow of death with a loved one, feel its sting and breathe its stale, suffocating air, we are changed.   When you almost lose something, you love so much, resisting the urge to fall into the alluring trap of putting ourselves in charge of the safety and protection of those we hold so dear is challenging!

Based on God’s word, though,  all indicators tell me He did not spare my son’s life for me to become my children’s savior.   He did not spare his life for me to grab on tighter and smother them in a bubble of supposed safety.   God did not spare my son’s life for me to turn my children into idols shaped in my image.   He spared my son’s life for His purpose, not my power.

Shortly after Christmas, friends and family began asking our children about their gifts.   Our daughter was asked, more than once, “what was your favorite gift?”   Each time she answered, “camp with my dad at JH Ranch next summer.   As people asked the question, I began to experience my body stiffening and my eyes squinting as if something was about to hit me.   It was!   I was “hit” with looks that if they could talk might say, “are you crazy!”   I received comments that resulted in shame.   I felt like an irresponsible mother for a short time, and it taxed the depth of peace that encompassed my decision.   I had to remember that walking in obedience is a process of frequent renewal to a life guided by Spirit, not self.

Initially, I felt the need to explain the gift to all the puzzled people.   My explaining something that is right between God and me, however, is only an attempt to tidy myself up to satisfy my need to meet the approval of people.   Explaining can become a form of self-righteousness.   I am grateful for the words in the Gospel of Matthew that release me from my need to explain.   Matthew 5:37 says, Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.     I am only accountable to One.  Sometimes what is right between God and me makes no sense to outside parties, but their understanding is not my responsibility.    I love the freedom in that!

After all the gift giving, a gift to my daughter that almost unwrapped me proved to be a gift for me, too.     It rewrapped me in the freedom; rest and comfort of a sovereign God who I am so grateful pursues me even through Christmas gifts.   Never has giving a Christmas gift been so laden with pain and so loaded with purpose.   Growth happens in grievous places.   That is good news, friends!

May I Never Forget You, 2014

- dannalundstrom

As the sun sets on another year, I am thinking about the things, the hard things, that I would have never chosen in 2014, but they chose me. They brought much grief but were always accompanied by gratitude.

Our years are made of days, some ordinary and some extraordinary. Those days, the ordinary and the extraordinary, occasionally conquer but also create us. They sometimes shatter us but subsequently sharpen us. We experience triumphs, and we endure tragedies. Some days break us only to build us. Days can be messy but NOT without meaning. Refinement and restoration marry well with an available heart.

The self-reliant use tallies of good and bad days to calculate the success of their year. It is perspective and the pursuit of
meaning amidst days, broken and beautiful, that the surrendered use to measure theirs. May I always evaluate my years from a position of surrender.

2014 has felt like a year of wandering in the Psalms for me. I have been desperate, and I have been dependent. I have lamented and I have praised. The year cultivated both difficult and defining memories. It was pretty, and it was painful.

2014 was a reminder that the goal of life is not happiness, because it is not happiness that brokers comfortable homes; but joy outside of circumstances found in a Savior that breeds content hearts.

I am reflecting on all the fragments of 2014, the brutal and the beautiful, and placing them within the context of Romans 8:28 today.~And we know that God causes everything to work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I see much purpose born from the pain of some of the challenges of 2014. I can find meaning in much of the messiness, but there are other situations, however, I am still waiting. I am aware as Deuteronomy 29:29 tells me, I may never understand. Some things are only to be know by The Lord.

There are circumstances that are unthinkable, unfair and how could God be working right from something so wrong? I am reminded that it is here that I must exercise extravagant faith, not in circumstances I see but in a creator I trust.

It is here, in the stuck places, I have to put away all the “whys” and rest in Who. I do not say this lightly because this is a difficult assignment, but God does not call us to simple, rather to surrender.

We can view life through cynical-glasses or Savior-glasses. It is a choice-a very crucial one. 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011… They all had obstacles that shook and shaped me; not to my final destination but towards my desired direction.

It has been those dreaded moments, the broken ones, that have rendered the sweetest fruit. So while some are saying so long 2014, I cannot wait to forget you; I am saying I hope I always remember you.

There is so much meaning born within the parameters of messy. Jesus, our Savior, was born in the most unclean of environments. Isn’t it beautiful how the sloppiest of circumstances can become sacred. (Luke 2) Isn’t it sweet how pain can usher so much purpose. Jesus was crucified and suffered a painful death with a purpose to secure the salvation of a sinner like me. (Isaiah 53:11)

Thank you 2014 for all the ways you have pruned and protected me. Thank you for all the sorrow that stretched me. Growth really is most fertile when planted in the soil of grief. Thank you for the tears of pain and the tears of joy. Thank you for the portraits of beauty and the scribbles of brokenness. Mostly 2014, thank you for forging me deeper into relationship with my Savior.

Welcome 2015. I know your landscape will be one indigenous of peaks and valleys. I also know it is my triumphs over your tribulations that are for my growth and God’s glory. What a blessing to enter a new year given the grace to understand that.

Happy New Year to all. May you be rich enough to embrace prosperity and rattled enough to experience your Savior.

You Must Believe To Receive

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

It is Christmas time, the season to be merry and bright.  We adorn streets, stores, homes, and even our conversations with phrases that span back as far as I can remember.  Merry Christmas, happy holidays, merry, joy, peace…And How about the one our parents always told us?  The one we tell our children and our children’s children-You must believe to receive.  I remember hearing that as far back as my memory spans.

You must believe to receive-intended to affirm a child’s trust in a fictional character, Santa Claus, so they will be rewarded with the things their hearts desire.  The pay off for believing, they receive and in turn are “happy.”  It is a well-intended tradition that every nurturing parent perpetuates, but just maybe it is here where we unknowingly plant the early seeds of idolatry.

It is Christmas time.  The season to be merry and bright, so why do I feel so melancholy?  Perhaps it is in my striving to keep up with the socially acceptable norms of the season, that I am withering from the searing realities of my soul.  If only my insides matched my outsides, perhaps I would not be so tired; tired from trying so hard to be merry when in reality life is so messy.  Or maybe it is the memories of all who I am missing, and all that was that tug on my heart.  I tend to remember what was through rosy colored lenses, and that can blind me to the beauty of what is.

The irony of You must believe to receive is there has never been a more crucial truth for living.  It is not just a childhood charade.  It is our salvation.  It ultimately has nothing to do with Santa Claus, fiction, or the receiving of wrapped gifts.  It has everything to do with a righteous Savior, a real story, and His unparallelled presence.

In the midst of trying to be merry this season, my cousin in her young 30’s is dying from cancer that has claimed her bones, lungs, and her life unless she receives a miracle.  Not very merry.

A good friend right now is sitting at her mother’s bedside waiting for her mom to draw her last breath. She will likely succumb to cancer on Christmas Eve or Christmas day, leaving her family grieving.  My friend’s Christmas will not be so merry.

Dear friends buried their thirteen-year-old son a few weeks ago.  How do they find the merry after such an unimaginable loss?

I have handicapped parents who are both compromised mentally and physically.  They are not living, just existing trapped in bodies that paint pictures that are painful to see.  Messy.

Family and friends are battling addictions.  They do not have the addictions; the addictions have them. Very messy.

There are broken relationships.  Relationships defined by dysfunction and wounds that run so deep that I, in my weak flesh, strain to catch a glimpse of hope for forgiveness or reconciliation.  Definitely messy.

There is so much demand for love in hard places that my supply of endurance feels inadequate.  Love is messy.

In the midst of trying to be merry, our world seems to the contrary.  Our people are killing and persecuting our people.  Our protectors have become prey.  One nation under God feels like empty words we recite with no conviction.  The seeping wounds from past gouges of racial division are constantly being pricked.  We are not living and acting out of present progress, but past wounds and injustices.

So where does believing and receiving fit in with all this brokenness, and suffering?  How do I expect so many of the mentioned people to believe in the midst of sweltering circumstances?  How do I believe when at every turn the pervasiveness of pain continues to multiply?

It is not an easy or efficient answer friends, but I promise it is effective.  If you are looking for easy and efficient, you are not looking for Jesus.  Belief in a Savior outside of ourselves and our world is an arduous fight.  It is a choice; a sometimes very hard choice, but the most crucial one we make.  It is only in choosing to believe that we receive the peace, hope and security of Jesus.  A Savior, who holds when he cannot heal, sustains in the absence of surrender, loves in the midst of loss and bears all burdens of brokenness.

Believing in Jesus, and receiving His promises allows us to face our messiness and not be miserable.

Deuteronomy 29:29 is like water for my parched soul when I am crying out to the Lord in frustration and questioning Him with why and how.  It tells us this: The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever.

There is so much we will never know.  There is so much we will never understand.  Plenty are the things we do not like, agree with or accept in this fallible life.  We are told this in Deuteronomy.  This verse also tells us that we are only expected to understand that which has been disclosed by the Lord.

So what has God disclosed?  Friends, this is the most important part of what you are reading.  God has testified and proven on the record that He loves us and has something better in mind for those who love Him.  John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son that whoever BELIEVES in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Jesus has revealed that we are not alone in our pain and suffering in the gospel of Matthew.  Matthew 11:28-30~Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

God’s word has assured us of our secured salvation if we only believe in Ephesians.  Ephesians 2:8~For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.

Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us we do not have to be fearful of our circumstances~Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

In John 14:1-3~ Jesus gives us the assurance of our inheritance of eternal life in Heaven~ “Don’t let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.  If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?  When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.

There are thousands of promises that have been revealed to us.  Yes, what we do not understand can be implausible, but as believers, what we do understand from God’s word is the antidote for our weary, wandering souls.  It does not mean we are void of emotions like sadness, fear, and worry.  It means we have those emotions, but God has us in the midst of them.  What He has revealed conquers that which is concealed, and sustains us until that day when all the broken, jagged and lost pieces of our life fit together to form a beautiful picture.

If we do not believe, we will not receive.  All these biblical promises, the incarnation and the resurrection, they mean nothing to us if we do not believe.  Saying we believe, reading our Bibles, going to church, having a quiet time, none of that is enough.  All those things are good and necessary, but belief is very much a multifaceted action verb that demands a continuous battle to live the truths we recite.  Belief requires an intimate relationship, not an obligated religion.  It necessitates we become a daily, living sacrifice.  We must die to the fast fixes of the world and fasten to the faithful promises of a Savior. Belief is worth fighting for!

It is not enough to have it in our brains and flowing from our mouths.  Until we saturate our hearts and the deepest recesses of our souls where the thieves of belief taint our peace and stability, it will never carry over from our lips to our lives.

Our joy amidst the backdrop of life’s brokenness is for God’s glory.  This can only be received in the midst of genuine belief.

I may not feel very merry this Christmas, but that is understandable.  Jesus felt grief, pain, and sadness more than merriment at times, too.  I would rather be true to my reality than suffocated by my reverie. Besides, I have learned there is so much beauty born from brokenness.  I believe it, and I have received it!  Although life is really messy right now, the merry, a little dim, is still there.  When our perspective is formed in the image of the gospel, merry always trumps our messiness in the end.  May you find the merry despite all the mess this CHRISTmas.

I do not see, but I will follow.  I do not hear, but I will listen.  I do not comprehend, but I will fight to BELIEVE.   Heavenly Father help all of us enduring pain, suffering and unthinkable trials to trust and rest in you.  May we all walk not by our senses or understanding, but guided by faith that although sometimes is shaken, it is never shattered!

Amen

Prayerful Plea

- dannalundstrom

As a newborn baby cries out for their every need of thirst, hunger, pain… We, too, must cry out to our Father, and He will quench, feed and soothe us in our distress. Father, help us to ask you today to meet us in all the areas we are bleeding. Hold the hurting, pacify the painful and bless us in all our brokenness. Thank you for the incarnation that branded your compassion and empathy into the toil of our fallen world. Thank you for the resurrection that affirmed our admittance into a beautiful eternity. Amen.

It’s All About Jesus

- dannalundstrom

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The older I get; it is not about where I get to go, but when I get to be home. It is not about what I can have, but what I can give. It is not about who I have known the longest, but who has walked with me through the most. It is not about who or what is around me, but what is within me. It is not about me at all, but a relationship with the One who gave it all. Thank you, Jesus for saving me. John 3:30~ He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.

Always, Thank You Jesus

- dannalundstrom

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Sometimes I do not understand the Lord’s ways, but I trust His wisdom.
Sometimes I am impatient with His tempo, but I believe in His timing.
Sometimes I do not like His answers, but I accept His authority.
Sometimes I am uncomfortable with His silence, but I agree in His sovereignty.
Sometimes I am hesitant to His callings, but I am confident in His character.
I do not deserve His grace, but I understand His gospel.
Always, thank you, Jesus that none of it is dependent upon me.