You are not behind schedule, friend. I was having an honest conversation with a wise friend this morning who reminded me at least twice that I am not behind schedule in my areas of growth. We can be pretty hard on ourselves, and sometimes taking honest looks at where we are is necessary. I want you to hear today, however, that you can trust in God’s sovereign and perfect timing for all things, including right where you are. You are loved!
She was wronged. She was misunderstood. She was disliked and even disowned. However, she no longer took her pain to the people, but The Promiser. That is growth. That is grace. That is the power of Christ Jesus! We already have victory, friends. We no longer need to fight for it! You are loved!
We travel far to see oceans and mountains. We go far to see distant continents and people. How often, though do we stand still long enough to see and know ourselves? It is not about being self-centered but self-aware. We cannot grow that which we do not know. Be still and see so you may know. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. ~Psalm 139:14
My success rate with New Year resolutions is 0%; therefore, I am not a fan! I have been “planning” consistent commitment to exercise for more than half my life. That goal was just a picture absent of prayer that bred exhausted expectations void of any rewarding realizations. Healthy resolutions will not prosper without heart reformations. I do not need a new year to be a new me, and neither do you. We can be made new any day, any month and any year when it is not about us who corrects our habits, but He who changes our heart. Progress only thrives in the shadows of prayer, and growth is granted under the wings of grace. Without turning over control from self to Savior resolutions become rejections and dates breed despair. Results come from my Provider, not my power and by His appointments not my agenda. 1 John 4:4…for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
The last month The LORD has been working a lot in my heart. Specifically in two ways I am aware of and probably in others that I am unconsciously aware, too. Life is hard! Parenting is hard. Marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. Life is hard!
Recently we have been dealing with a difficult issue that broke my heart for all parties involved that arose from gossip. I think we all forget, gossip is a sin. I know I have to be very mindful of it. A very knowledgeable friend gave me the best advice I have ever received regarding gossip; ”If you are not part of the problem or the solution, then you should not be talking.” That is very sound counsel that I try to use as a filter for my words before I speak. I am imperfect. I am also vulnerable to the devastation of gossip, as is everyone breathing.
As I have been reeling in pain lately, an older, wiser friend reminded me, “D’Anna, God your Father is much greater than you a mother, spouse, daughter, friend…” At that moment, her words were the balm for my aching soul. Although I was deeply affected by what happened, I was reminded I was not, and never am fully in charge of anyone’s well-being, even my children. God is in charge, and His ways are always perfect, although sometimes very painful!
The second way the Lord has been refining me is that I did not realize how much responsibility I was carrying for people’s actions around me. I am quick to forget that I am only responsible for myself, and while I may play a role in how people act, I am not responsible. They are! Taking responsibility has been a tremendous amount of weight I have been bearing.
Recently when I was sitting in quiet reflection, these words became audible in my head. “No matter how someone acts, it should not affect how you are called to react.” Does that mean I do not respond at all? No. It simply means God originally designed me to react in a manner that is pleasing to Him, not me. Also, I am not responsible for the actions of others–they are. Friends, starting to understand that concept is the beginning of a large dose of freedom. Practicing this has allowed me to love better and live bolder. It is like getting a haircut, having a thorough house cleaning or getting all the laundry done. You just feel lighter!
Taking on the responsibility for the actions of others crushes us and allows the enemy to win. He does not want us delivered; he wants us defeated. Taking the liability for your prodigal child, your struggling spouse, your suffering friend or whomever in your life that you are enmeshed with creates insanity. We definitely have a role in the lives and circumstances of the people we love, but NOT ultimate responsibility. God The Father is much bigger than we the (fill in the blank.) Who are you bearing responsibility for today? Lay them at the feet of Jesus and pray for them because YOU cannot perfect them. May you all be free to let your Father be in charge today and every day.
Dear friend, whatever struggle is dominating your thoughts today is the very one that will swaddle you in strength. It will clothe you with compassion, and it will honor you with humility. Every painful circumstance becomes a purposeful square in the quilt you are sowing. Embrace the opportunity in your obstacles. Remember, when you are afraid you are available. When you are confused, you are connected. When you are waiting, you are watchful. When desperate you are dependent, and when lonely you are looking. In Jesus’s economy, weakness is the source from which all good and beautiful things grow. May grace fill every season of growth and spring streams of joy along your journeys.
As a woman, growing in grace means when someone gives us a compliment, we do not dismiss it. We do not tell them why we do not look pretty, are not a good cook, do not have a kind heart, have not lost weight…Grace enables us to embrace the compliment with a humble, soft, “thank you.” Then we allow those words to settle into our souls and realize, yes, I am those things because that is how God created me. Sure we have moments when we do not like ourselves; everyone does. Those moments, however, should be fleeting. We become who we think we are, so we must allow ourselves to be a friend’s compliment! This is one of the hardest things to do for all of us, but let’s change that today! May we all be humbly adorned in the unique gifts God placed within each of us today and all days ahead!
When I was a child, we had a ditch that ran alongside and behind our property. It was a ditch, but from the perspective of my childhood imagination it was a rocky, dangerous ravine. The ditch, formidable as it was or was not, did have some steep, slippery spots. I would often fall and slide into the murky, water that sometimes housed water moccasins. Snakes terrified me, so I was hesitant to be too adventurous.
In the summertime, berries would grow on vines along that ditch. I distinctly remember that the biggest, most shiny and sweetest berries were in the most challenging spots to maneuver. I was a fearful child, so I didn’t venture to those places often, but when I did; oh to taste such sweet fruit! It could not compare to the berries growing in the flatter, less intimidating topography. Although I can remember being very afraid to pursue those berries, I knew the reward that was waiting for me, so I would muster the courage from time to time. I can still hear how loud my heart would beat. I can feel how fast it would race as if it would break out of my chest. My breathing would be fast and heavy, and I would be sweating but I would risk it all because I had experienced, and come to know the superior taste of the sweeter berries.
Life is a lot like the scary parts of that ditch, and the fruit experienced at its most precarious locations. We sometimes find ourselves in places where we risk falling, getting scraped and cut, and often that does happen. Life has a way of cutting us up, but God has a way of carving us from our slips and falls.
As I look back now, the sweetest and most nourishing fruit has been acquired in the most treacherous places. Sure, life is good when I am living on level land, but oh to taste the fruit of growth that only happens when we are in the ravenous ravines. It is here where we gain the sweetest rewards. Unlike capturing the berries, we may not immediately taste the sweetness of life’s valleys.
As I came to know the nature of those dangerous berries by taste, though, so I have come to know the character of God also through experience. If we are looking for God not just in the safe places but in the scary ones, too; if we know His faithfulness, we have confidence what joy awaits us. Experiencing God is what gives us the endurance and the strength to persevere through all the ditches we fall into throughout life. Also, knowing Him gives us the courage to get up and keep pursuing life, not from a position of safety but surrender. God enables us to walk victoriously through life’s intimidating places. Psalm 18:33 promises us this: He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights.
The fruit found in our most perilous places yields the greatest growth and the sweetest victories. If you are walking a rocky road right now, be encouraged. Dirt roads are paved with fertile soil.
Just as the birth of new life is a process, so are growing into an adolescent, adult and so on. Everything is a process. A process of success, a process of failure, a process of destruction and a process of restoration. Then you get to the end of years, seasons and cycles, and you sit at deaths door with someone you love as you watch the curtain drawing on the last act of their rehearsal for eternal life. You ache in the finality of what is and you abide in the memory of what was. As you sit and wait, you pray for swift mercy. You don’t want to keep staring at the mask of eminent death settled on the face of a loved one. Questioning sets in, and then you remember, just as you didn’t know how the process would begin, you also cannot know how and when it will end. The moment we took our first breath, and the moment we draw our last were determined in advance. They were written by eternal hands that no human mind could know. Although a delayed ending of the final process feels unjust, you remember we have earthly eyes, ears and minds. We cannot see, hear or know. Trying to figure it out, or ask when is stepping out of our realm and into God’s. Sometimes His timing seems unjust but faith continues to whisper, it is always right! Then, the wait marches on.
Please pray for Nana to be with Jesus soon. Everything indigenous to her is gone, but her heart is still beating strong. Your will not ours Lord.