Tag: pain

God’s Silence Does Not Equal Stagnation

- dannalundstrom


Recently I was in a beautiful place surrounded by the sights and sounds of God’s creation.  My children and husband were with me, and we drove up to a beautiful beach that had an area lined by ocean rocks as if to create a safe, swimming hole for would be snorkelers.  I did not feel like getting in the water this particular morning, but my kids wanted to try snorkeling.  It was their first time, and they were curious to see what they would find living just below the surface of the emerald blue water.

I found a shady spot on a hill with a peaceful picnic table that looked down over the majestic beach.  I could not bring myself to leave the refuge of the picnic table, so I assured my children I would watch them from above and they could go ahead and snorkel. I watched as one child put on her equipment and swam off strong and smooth like a fish in its natural habitat. Then I sat and watched as my son, who has dyspraxia, struggled to get the mask, snorkel, and fins on.  It felt like an eternity of him trying over and over again and not succeeding.

Eventually, he began putting his head in the water and trying to coordinate all the necessary steps to swim and breathe. He would lower his head into the water a minute and then come up for air, never mastering the required motor coordination skills needed to put it all together, the skills that just come naturally to most of us. My heart was bleeding as I watched. Tears filled my eyes telling the story of my hurt for him as they trickled down my face. I was rooting and praying for him but painfully witnessed him fail over and over again. I wanted to rescue him. Running to him and helping felt like the loving and natural thing to do, but I knew delivering him from his struggle was the worst thing I could do because he would quit trying and rely on me.  Fixing the situation for my son would stunt his learning and crucial growth skills he needs to function in life.  As much as I wanted to intervene, as heart-wrenching as it was to watch, I had to sit and silently pray for him and watch over him from above the water.

It occurred to me at that moment that this was such a picture of our walks with our Father.  He looks down on us from above and often sees us struggling, sometimes drowning. In our estimation, it feels as if he is ambivalent to our struggles and suffering.

God seems silent, but His silence does not equate to stagnation.

Just as I was watching over my child, He is looking down and watching us, His children.  Our Heavenly Father is supporting us and working outcomes that are for our ultimate good.  Many times, though, He does not provide an immediate and noticeable rescue or His relief looks like more struggle and pain to us.  We don’t have the whole picture.  We feel like we are drowning, but God is there.  His heart must hurt as a Father like mine did as a mother watching his children struggle, but He knows just what we need.

Sometimes no rescue is the best rescue.

As we drove away from that beautiful place this thought occurred to me, my child didn’t fail.  Sure, he did if it I measured it by what I saw, but in God’s economy, the only failure is the one you didn’t trust Him in.  Be encouraged, friends!  God is looking down on you.  He sees you, and He has you.  When it feels like He is letting you drown, remember this, “All that is given is necessary.  All that is withheld was not.” ~Timothy Keller

You are loved.❤️

Tears

- dannalundstrom

Large trees in snowy climates are designed to drop their branches when the weight of falling snow gets too heavy for them to bear. It is like a dance planned by a Director that is out of the trees control. The Choreographer knows exactly when the branches need to release pressure so they don’t break. Our tears are a lot like that, also. They are not on our timetable, and that can be both frustrating and sometimes awkward. Like the beautiful tree branches, though, we were designed by God in such a way to let go of building burdens so we may bend but not break. Isn’t it amazing that our Father was so attentive to every little detail, even the timing of our tears? He crafts exactly when they will fall so He will be there to capture them all. He is holding you amidst your burdens today, friends. He is the Creator and the Caretaker of every last tear. Rest in His arms today. You are loved.❤️

Show Us Your Glory, Lord

- dannalundstrom

As I was walking to the beach in hopes of catching a beautiful sunrise about an hour ago, I was singing these words from a song, show us, show us your glory, Lord. God showed off for me as He often does! This photograph, (totally raw and unedited), is evidence that every new ending and every new beginning, although sometimes painful, beholds great beauty. Be encouraged, dear friend. If you are confronting a difficult transition from old to new, there are better days ahead. Forgetting is often impossible, but choosing where to focus our attention and perspective is not. Tim Keller says everything given was necessary and everything withheld was not. The former things, realized and unrealized, have fashioned a wide portion of the person you are. Purpose is a predecessor of praise. Pursue the purpose in every ending and beginning knowing that grief and gratitude co-mingle in this life and peace, joy and hope within you will reside. Lord, help us remember your work never needs editing, even when we think it does! You are loved, friend! ❤️

Our Scars Are Beautiful Stories

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

I have a scar on the left side of my chest where there once was a central line that nourished me when I was too sick to eat. I have a scar in my upper right rib area that reminds me of a chest tube that once supported my collapsed lung from a procedure gone wrong. Both blemishes were the product of one pregnancy. I see those two scars every day, and for many years they were unattractive to me. Over the years, I have learned that grief has been replaced with gratitude when I notice my marks. Those blemishes are symbolic of life. My scars are the testimony of a broken story with a beautiful ending. If it were not for them, I would not have my daughter.
I was reminiscing through the memories of my scar journey this morning, and I saw a vivid image of Jesus on the cross. There he was in my picture, nailed by evil and dawning contusions that the world would deem unattractive; then this thought crossed my mind, Jesus’ scars also represent life. I am confident that He embraces His, too, because if it were not for them, He also would not have His daughter.

Growth, Grace, Power

- dannalundstrom

She was wronged.  She was misunderstood.  She was disliked and even disowned.  However, she no longer took her pain to the people, but The Promiser.  That is growth.  That is grace.  That is the power of Christ Jesus!  We already have victory, friends.  We no longer need to fight for it!  You are loved!

An Absolute, Not an Aspiration

- dannalundstrom

7bd381d2f808be7d282e66205a0ee75fHeavenly Father, (blank), is so very hard. I do not understand why it has to be such a struggle, but I trust you know what you are doing and that it is for my gain and your glory. Please keep my heart and mind faithful to you and your promises as I walk this path. When I hit a bump as I travel, lift my eyes to see and tune my ears to hear you.

I know that thing that is cutting you up, keeping you unraveled and desperate for relief is exhausting you, friend. Fight to Remember today that your hope is not in the easing or extinguishment of that situation that the flesh so desires, but in A Savior who says I am on your side and in me your eternal hope is an absolute, not an aspiration. You are loved.

Are You Running a Marathon or a Sprint

- dannalundstrom

Psalm 66:16 says, come and listen all you who fear God, and I will tell you all He did for me.
We need to be encouraging one another with our experiences with The Lord and with His word.  The beauty of God’s word is how it imprints our hearts and ministers to us in our times of need. 
The truth is, whether we are running life as a marathon, renewing and committing ourselves to God daily or running as a sprint under our authority and sufficiency; both are challenging.    What the first gives us that the latter does not is perseverance and the ability to reflect the character of our Savior not the chaos of our situations.  We can fall in all the pot holes along the race, only to rise, dust ourselves off and keep running. 

When we are right with God, the circumstances and conditions of our race do not define us, but they depict Who lives inside of us.  I would much rather be eternally equipped for the marathon of life, than dependent on myself or someone other than Jesus, to run this race with me. 

When I fail to present myself consistently before The Father, renewing my mind daily, life gets messier than usual.  

Are you pacing yourself for the marathon or sprinting towards the next check off the list?  I often need to remembered , repent and rest.

When You Are Ready, Run Friend

- dannalundstrom

c906e19c5f3fa56976c39a937f60729dTime heals all wounds; so it has been said, but whoever coined this was possibly confused by the challenge of wounds of the heart and soul. I am certain this is not true, but will submit that maybe it lessens their sting.

Healing is not just a passage of time but a process of purposed pain.

We cannot wait out deep wounds; rather we have to press into them when we are ready for renewal to begin. The mending of mangled hearts is hard work. It takes courage and the perseverance of a marathon, not a sprint. There are no short cuts. It is facing the fire and walking straight through.

As children of King Jesus, we can do this, though. We can enter the furnace with the confident assurance and walk into the affliction that has seared our souls. We are going to get burned up a little, but not consumed because we have a Father who is walking beside us and buffering our burns. Isaiah 43:2 ~When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

I often got splinters as a child. I dreaded them with a heart-pounding fear because I knew those intruders would have to be removed to stop my pain. My parents would burn the end of a needle to sterilize it before dislodging the splinter. The process of removing the splinter was painful and often involved digging, twisting and pushing of the needle into tender parts of my flesh, but my parents had carefully prepared the process, not because it would prevent present pain but because it would preclude future infection.

The healing of our hearts is like this process. Jesus is removing our splinters to prepare us for His purpose. He carefully prepares the way, and it burns. He knows it is presently going to hurt, but more importantly He knows it is eternally going to heal.

No one can tell you how to mend the heaviness of your heart, nor can anyone give you a timetable. There is no instruction manual or twelve step program for personal pain. No one should tell you to disown your feelings through the process. It is important to remember, however, that feelings ARE indicators, but they are NOT inditers. The enemy will use them that way; to discourage, distract and derail your progress. When he begins charging you with weakness, insufficiency, or whatever his poison is, remember the importance of removing and replacing. It is not enough to eliminate incorrect thoughts; we also have to replace them with infallible truths from God’s word.

God bless you on your journey to heal, friend. It will be a bumpy road, but not bare of hope and hidden treasures that will encourage your heart. Isaiah 45:3 ~And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness–secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.

When you are ready friend, run to your pain, not away. It is when we face our giants that we win the war. You are loved!

Yesterday I Put Myself Down

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

1cb4c5290e3e370b1cb822cd5ec03122Yesterday I put myself down.

I put myself down to a friend; a new friend that I had not even known five minutes.  She was kind enough to speak truth back to me.  You see the thing about light is; I am really good at speaking it into other people’s lives but not always my own!

I put myself down yesterday, not even an hour after I wrote these words; ‘To believe we are anything less than His beloved is to deny the work Jesus finished on the cross. I do not want to do that, but I do every day when I feel or say I am not enough.’

Yesterday with my new friend my flawed theology confronted me.  I walked to my car, and my head was hanging.  The mind missiles started to fly to the roar of something like this; “What kind of person tells everyone else to believe they are enough but cannot believe it about herself?”  “You should be ashamed!”  And I was, ashamed.

By the time I got to my car, I knew I had to go to The Lord and repent.  I didn’t need just to repent for what I said, but also for my unbelief.  I am very grateful I put myself down yesterday because The Holy Spirit used the circumstance to convict my heart, and it was a successful conviction.

Many times I have to go through an experience to have a conversion.

It is in the midst of deep exposure that I evolve.  Praise God He does not leave me where I am.  His instruction usually stings, but purpose is always a product of pain if I have the proper perspective.

So, today, as I have been meeting the demands set before me, I have been intentionally practicing my status as a beloved daughter of The King.  I repented there in my car yesterday for my unbelief, now the battle is in the fight to believe and rest in my identity as His.

Thank you, Jesus, for loving a ragamuffin like me!  Where are you not believing you are enough, friends?  Will you ask The Lord to show you if it is not already clear?  Lets fight to believe together!  Proverbs 27:17~ As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Fixing Our Eyes On the Cross

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment


If we are not keeping our eyes on the cross, we are no better than a blind man driving home.
Three crosses stand high above our church, Shades Mountain Baptist Church. The cross in the middle stands the highest, and the two on each side beneath the shadow of the larger cross. The two lower crosses represent the crosses of the two thieves who were crucified with Jesus. The higher one, representing the cross of Jesus. These three crosses, the highest one, in particular, hold a special place in my heart.

In September 2005, my parents were in town visiting. The second day they were here, my mom and I dropped my children at pre-school and headed to Sam’s. We had just parked when she got a phone call. It was my dad. “He said something has happened, and I cannot see.”

Our Sam’s trip was averted, and we rushed back to my house to check on him. We would later end up in the emergency room to find out he had a stroke in his eye; this would be my dad’s second stroke. The first had affected one eye; the second stroke now leaving both eyes impaired.

As hours passed, and the story unfolded, we found out he was in the car driving down Columbiana Road when the stroke besieged him. Our church sits on Columbiana Road. Although my dad had very limited vision, He said he could see ONE thing. The high cross that stands guard at the top of Shades Mountain Baptist Church.

He went on to explain that he knew if he slowly proceeded toward the cross, he could find his way to my home because I lived just down the street. Miraculously he drove himself back to my house, the cross guiding him the whole way.

I was recently sharing this story with a friend who said to me, “I do not understand how he drove home blind.” It was at that moment that God spoke to my heart. The message was very straightforward,

“If we are not placing our eyes on the cross we are no better than a blind man driving home.”

Wow! I had chills, and I love how God used that conversation to embed His message into my heart.

We are all just driving home, friends. Where are we fixing our eyes? On the world, on our problems, on our pain, on our possessions, or on the cross?

Sometimes my vision gets distorted. There are many things the world has to offer to distract my eyes. My flesh wages war against my sight. The goal is not perfect vision, but progressive vision. We must always be advancing, focusing and refocusing towards that one thing that now or later will make all things clear and guide us without fail, even in darkness-The Cross.

I know your “drives” sometimes become treacherous. I know your vision often feels blurry. Mine too, but Keep returning your eyes to the cross. It is the only way to get you home.

Hebrews 12:1-2~ Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  

You are loved, friend!