Tag: pain

Dancing in the Darkness

- dannalundstrom

It was one week ago today that we said see you later pop to my dad.  This is what was on my heart that day.

Today we honor my dad; not his finalization, but his freedom. The last twelve days have been a tornado of emotions. Last Saturday, the day my dad truly became alive, we were gathered at his side. There had been inadequate time for me to open my Bible the five preceding days. That day seemed as if it would be the same, little time.

Then, a lull happened and everything was quiet.  In hindsight, it was a unique calm, as if not of this world. One of those special moments we rarely recognize until they are written, gone from our grasp, but forever etched in our hearts.

Soft music was playing, and my mom was at my dad’s side.  I sat down behind her and opened my Bible. The verse I landed on was Isaiah 45:3 ~ And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness–secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the one who calls you by name.

It was when I was reflecting briefly on this verse that my dad took Jesus’s hand.  I have gone back daily since last Saturday to that same verse. In reflection, I realized it has been the truth of my travels here. These twelve days have been excruciating, and they have been extraordinary.

I know many of you are enduring dark seasons right now, too.  Sometimes they become so oppressive that our eyes, ears, hearts, and minds become clouded by the dust swirling around us.  When I view this world horizontally, it becomes too much to bear.  When my perspective is eternal, I find gratitude even in grievous places.

God has a way of depositing hidden treasures deep in our discouragement.

It is in the dim places that the growth laden, secret riches from God’s hand become undeniably accentuated.  I was not forsaken this week, and neither was anyone in my family.  We have been given some heavy and layered loads, but they were not void of the promise in Isaiah 43:5. Time and time again the Lord has revealed himself.  We do not drift in disillusionment alone.  When Jesus is our choreographer, it is possible for our souls to dance even in darkness.
He pads our paths with priceless pearls of peace that bring grace to our grief.  We must be watchful to see.

One of my biggest challenges is to abide freely in what is, rather than to shackle myself to what should be.  I cannot imagine that we are that different.  I pray this for us today, friends:

Father hold our hearts to a standard of hope within the haze of pervasive pain.  Let us speak the truth when we tremble.  Unite our hands in faith when we fear. Focus our eyes in the realm of the eternal and not the earthly.  Equip us to trust where You have us, not where we think we should be. Believing in You is the inviting part, trusting You with the devastations of our lives is the intentional part.  You know this of us, God.  Give us fountains of gratitude in our grief and grace for our journeys.  I praise you for knowing and loving us intimately enough to call us all by name.  Thank you for your enduring faithfulness.  Amen.

Painful Places, Polished Purposes

- dannalundstrom

  
Hey friend, 

When you are deep in darkness, gripped by grief or fraternizing with fear, Jesus is not shaking His head in disappointment. He is not ashamed of your tears. He bottles them, and holds them close in His care. He knows it is His strength, not yours, that saves.  Be true to where you are. 

 Sometimes we have to settle in painful places while purposeful ones are being polished. 

 Sit with your sorrow and pause in your pain, for they hold holy purpose. Once Jesus is ready, He will dim your darkness, lavish grace upon your grief and hand carve a deeper faith out of your fear.  

Jesus your children are parched. They are on dry, dusty roads they never would of chosen. None of us know why you have allowed these journeys, but if they must be, give fresh springs of living water to sustain your children as they travel. Place friends along their paths that mirror your benevolence, giving them mana for each moment. Allow your glory and your grace to be the story at the finish line. Your will, not ours Lord.  Amen.

Just Believe

- dannalundstrom 4 Comments

 

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Hey, you, That valley you are traveling. The one that is cutting you up as you wait; ripping your heart apart with worry, and making it hard to get up, dress and put on a smile. Yeah, you know the one. If you only knew! Sometimes in my desperate prayers for people I love; I cry out to The Lord, “if they only knew what I know. If they could only see what I see. They would be at peace. In my plea The Lord said back to me, “I feel the same about you.” Your pain is just a prelude to an eternal purpose. Battles are where beautiful souls are born. Your worry is a welcome invitation for a deeper relationship with a loving Father while you wait. He knows.. He sees. He hears. He loves you and knows the plans He has for you. Your job is just to believe.

Purpose is the Best Prescription for Pain

- dannalundstrom
  
Eventually, the dense fog of grief begins to lift from the riddled road it has walked us down, and we begin to see ahead again. Life does not pause for our pain. It marches on and so must we, not as we were but as we now are; changed by the chiseling refurbishment of suffering. The best prescription for your pain is to give it a purpose. Many have traveled before you and many will after you. God’s intentions for us are never futile. Ask Him to begin revealing His purpose to you, and watch as beauty arises from that broken road. 2 Corinthians 1:4~4 He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.

Embracing Change

- dannalundstrom

When our familiar becomes foreign, normal becomes new and usual becomes unknown; it feels as if a piece of our life is gone forever, and it is. Lost. It will never be as it was again. It is the dying of a part of us that is so deeply rooted and known that it is painful to imagine how life will look moving forward. It is a challenge to gently and fondly hold, and remember what was so that we may courageously embrace what is.

Overcoming the sting of circumstances we do not wish, nor would we choose does not mean we are happy. It does not mean we are complete, unbroken or perfect. It means we are at peace.

God tends to script our lives in such a way that eventually brings peace to our pain.

Peace does not evolve by chance. One must be available to the works of the Spirit to reap Its fruit. Looking when we do not see, believing when we do not understand, listening when we do not hear, and fighting for it all when we are weary. In the midst of staying faithful, little fountains of gratitude are born in the middle of all our grief. The light of gratitude ultimately overcomes the darkness of grief.

One secret to mastering this mystery is found in the book of Isaiah.

Isaiah 26:3~You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You.

Embracing every big and little re-direction is part of life. Some are happy, and some are sad. One glorious day, though, everything we knew, and everything we lost will be familiar again. Nothing eternal is lost forever. If you are facing a new normal, God is extending His hand. Don’t lose hope friends!

For all my family, I love you all so much!

I Am Weak but He is Strong

- dannalundstrom

 

There is a misconception that Christians should always feel happy and comfortable, but that is untrue. The Bible illustrates this for us with countless stories of struggle. My truth is that many days I feel more ragged than refreshed.

In my distress I cry out, please, Father let there be purpose in this pain. Allow me to understand your plan so my eyes may see with clarity, my ears may hear without strain and my heart may abide without aching. Then, as an obedient daughter and follower of Jesus, I know I must sum up my plea with; your will not mine be done, Father.

And that is hard, but that is holy.

I think, however, when we get to a place in our lives that we can end our prayers as Jesus did just before His death, that is a great blessing. It means our truest heart’s desire is to be operating within the will of God. It is only in the confines of obedience to Him, not self, that we will experience the steadfast joy of the Lord.

I take great comfort from Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10~ Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

As a child I sang it; I am weak, but He is strong. Now as an adult I am accountable to not only understand it but stand under that life-giving truth. That does not mean I am not sad or weary at times. It means I can reflect the character of a loving and faithful Father despite what storms are brewing around me.

Father, thank you for the Bible that shows us time and time again this life is less about happiness and more about holiness. I am grateful for the life of your son, Jesus, who lived a perfect life amidst unimaginable suffering so that we would have a model by which to persevere. You complete us in all the areas we are incomplete. You mend all the places we are broken. You have already written the script of our lives from beginning to end. Every struggle and every success, you know the path and the divine plan. Equip us to rest in your oversight as we sometimes walk very difficult roads. Help us to remember you have adopted us as your children, and we do not have to live as orphans, but as safe, provided for children. Grace, Father. Give us grace for ourselves and grace for all who intersect our lives. Thank you for loving us. Amen.

It is About Relationship not Religion

- dannalundstrom

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A religion is defined by rules, a relationship by righteousness. Religion focuses on practices; a relationship focuses on purpose. A religion nurtures obligations; a relationship nourishes obedience. Guidelines are the foundations of religion. Grace is the foundation of a relationship. Religion is typically acquired from childhood; relationships tend to be acquiesced from crisis. It was when I met pain that I lost the details of a religion and gained the depth of a relationship. That made all the difference!
1 John 5:20~ And we know that the Son of God has come, and he has given us understanding so that we can know the true God. And now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life.

May I Never Forget You, 2014

- dannalundstrom

As the sun sets on another year, I am thinking about the things, the hard things, that I would have never chosen in 2014, but they chose me. They brought much grief but were always accompanied by gratitude.

Our years are made of days, some ordinary and some extraordinary. Those days, the ordinary and the extraordinary, occasionally conquer but also create us. They sometimes shatter us but subsequently sharpen us. We experience triumphs, and we endure tragedies. Some days break us only to build us. Days can be messy but NOT without meaning. Refinement and restoration marry well with an available heart.

The self-reliant use tallies of good and bad days to calculate the success of their year. It is perspective and the pursuit of
meaning amidst days, broken and beautiful, that the surrendered use to measure theirs. May I always evaluate my years from a position of surrender.

2014 has felt like a year of wandering in the Psalms for me. I have been desperate, and I have been dependent. I have lamented and I have praised. The year cultivated both difficult and defining memories. It was pretty, and it was painful.

2014 was a reminder that the goal of life is not happiness, because it is not happiness that brokers comfortable homes; but joy outside of circumstances found in a Savior that breeds content hearts.

I am reflecting on all the fragments of 2014, the brutal and the beautiful, and placing them within the context of Romans 8:28 today.~And we know that God causes everything to work for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I see much purpose born from the pain of some of the challenges of 2014. I can find meaning in much of the messiness, but there are other situations, however, I am still waiting. I am aware as Deuteronomy 29:29 tells me, I may never understand. Some things are only to be know by The Lord.

There are circumstances that are unthinkable, unfair and how could God be working right from something so wrong? I am reminded that it is here that I must exercise extravagant faith, not in circumstances I see but in a creator I trust.

It is here, in the stuck places, I have to put away all the “whys” and rest in Who. I do not say this lightly because this is a difficult assignment, but God does not call us to simple, rather to surrender.

We can view life through cynical-glasses or Savior-glasses. It is a choice-a very crucial one. 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011… They all had obstacles that shook and shaped me; not to my final destination but towards my desired direction.

It has been those dreaded moments, the broken ones, that have rendered the sweetest fruit. So while some are saying so long 2014, I cannot wait to forget you; I am saying I hope I always remember you.

There is so much meaning born within the parameters of messy. Jesus, our Savior, was born in the most unclean of environments. Isn’t it beautiful how the sloppiest of circumstances can become sacred. (Luke 2) Isn’t it sweet how pain can usher so much purpose. Jesus was crucified and suffered a painful death with a purpose to secure the salvation of a sinner like me. (Isaiah 53:11)

Thank you 2014 for all the ways you have pruned and protected me. Thank you for all the sorrow that stretched me. Growth really is most fertile when planted in the soil of grief. Thank you for the tears of pain and the tears of joy. Thank you for the portraits of beauty and the scribbles of brokenness. Mostly 2014, thank you for forging me deeper into relationship with my Savior.

Welcome 2015. I know your landscape will be one indigenous of peaks and valleys. I also know it is my triumphs over your tribulations that are for my growth and God’s glory. What a blessing to enter a new year given the grace to understand that.

Happy New Year to all. May you be rich enough to embrace prosperity and rattled enough to experience your Savior.

Prayerful Plea

- dannalundstrom

As a newborn baby cries out for their every need of thirst, hunger, pain… We, too, must cry out to our Father, and He will quench, feed and soothe us in our distress. Father, help us to ask you today to meet us in all the areas we are bleeding. Hold the hurting, pacify the painful and bless us in all our brokenness. Thank you for the incarnation that branded your compassion and empathy into the toil of our fallen world. Thank you for the resurrection that affirmed our admittance into a beautiful eternity. Amen.

Exhortation for the Exhausted Today

- dannalundstrom

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Exhortation for the exhausted today:
Pain, fear, worry and sadness are not the absence of a faithful heart. They are the evidence of an alive soul. Faith is not built by the abolishment of feelings but authored amidst the presence of much pain where the determination to choose to trust in the plans of our Savior, not our situation, persevere.