I have been on a mission lately to identify and minimize or eradicate the things in my life that compromise my peace. When I started putting ink to this stuff, I was surprised just how exhaustive my list is, and I have not unearthed it all yet. One thing that was at the top of my list is the bad habit I have perfected of assigning thoughts and feelings to other people. Not many things steal my peace like this destructive practice. You know what I am talking about, right? When a friend does not acknowledge a text or email promptly, I can easily allow my thoughts to sabotage me. My internal dialogue goes something like this,
“She must be mad at me.” or
“Maybe she didn’t like what I said.”
I have found that the overwhelming majority of the time I. Am. Wrong.
There are hundreds of scenarios like this that vandalize my sanity. It is plain ridiculous. When I get honest, though, it is much more about an unwise behavior. There is a deeper root to the problem. I want people to be pleased with me. I want people to like me. I am a forever recovering people pleaser. There should be a support group for this kind of thing! I am no expert but perhaps going even deeper this is about the sinful pride that lurks in my heart that I need to pray for the grace to see and uprooted daily?
In his short, but stirring book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Tim Keller says this;
“People sometimes say their feelings are hurt. But our feelings can’t be hurt! It is the ego that hurts – my sense of self, my identity. Our feelings are fine. It is my ego that hurts.” “Walking around does not hurt my toe unless there is already something wrong with it .” Well, a big ‘ole ouch and Amen to that!
When my identity, worth, value, and placidity are rooted in people, I am in trouble. There will be no peace in my heart. I continually have to put on the attire of Christ’s atonement that sealed all those things for me at a very high cost. Otherwise, I am simply not living free in the abundance of my Father, but a prisoner to the perceptions and permission of people.