Tag: perseverance

Grief, A Ruthless Friend

- dannalundstrom
body of water during golden hour

It is incredible how the mind defaults into a self-defense posture one minute, only to fail me the next. The reality of grief is always there, lurking, but the full realization, while it may have reached my head, has not settled in the depths of my heart.

It has been said that is the longest distance, head to heart, and I know it to be right, on this dirt road that many are asked to walk in this life. No mileage signs signal an end, only hazard ahead around each bend.

Grief is a ruthless friend, but one that every loss must respect. He allows me to forget momentarily, then quickly be disheartened by the raw reality that is waiting on the other side of remembrance.

Countless times I reach for my phone to call her. There are so many things I want her to know. I want her to share my highs and lows and all the spaces in between; after all, that is the way a mama’s love goes. They say time heals all wounds, but I do not believe that is true. Some aches seem I will never be able to bid adieu. And if I am honest, never would I want to.

My mind is deceiving me, as it is prone to do. Feelings charade as facts, leaving me vacillating between pain and perseverance. The later must win in the end, but right now the two of them are stumbling hand in hand. To laugh, to live to carry on is to betray the loss, my disloyal thoughts deceptively whisper. On a head level, I know that is fraudulent and untrue. Maybe if I remind myself enough times, my heart will catch up too. For now, I am grappling for the grace to journey straight through the thick and heavy dew.

People are so kind and well-intended; they say do this, or that, believe this or that, and these things you must do. The problem is there is no universal recipe for the profound loss that accompanies the days I must filter through.

And my faith, it feels weak, that is undoubtedly true, but it is not up to me, for it was a gift secured by a Savior in which I had nothing to do. So I struggle, limping and tracked by the tears, as I walk the best I can, crying out and fighting to trust the only Man who will see me through. I thank Him, then question Him. I wrestle with Him and rest in Him, as all wounded warriors do. I am a paradox of emotions, The Psalms living and breathing as they once were for the writers overcome by grief so blue.

Trauma, the place I am traveling through, someday to be ousted by thankfulness-a destination I sometimes see but am not yet fully submitted to; for it is a harbor I am fighting my way towards when the anointed time is due.

Remember Who is Driving The Car

- dannalundstrom


When Carter turned two-years-old, I enrolled him in a mother’s day out program at our church two days a week. What I thought would be a short respite for me with a newborn baby quickly became a place of pain. Each Tuesday, Thursday when I loaded him in his car seat, his little face would peak with concern. The very second he saw we were turning down the road to MDO he would begin to cry and say, “no, mommy, no mommy.” “I stay with you, mommy.” It would break my heart! The school assured me shortly after I left that he was happy and playing with the other kids, but my heart would remain so heavy and haunted by his tears and pleas. Ultimately, though, I had to keep reminding myself that it was for his good, despite my grief. He needed the playtime, the socialization, the learning and so much more that the precious program had to offer that he could not get anywhere else.

I was thinking this morning as I was again shedding tears in this time of change and transition, did I mention I do not like an interruption of the predictable, but that experience was such a picture of God, our good, good, Father. Sometimes he allows us to be “driven” down dirt roads that have a lot of potholes and bumps. The journeys can be frightening, and often it feels like our cries for relief go unheard. But it is essential we remember Who is driving the car and that He never leads us anywhere that is not ultimately for our benefit. I know some circumstances look as though they could never prosper us, only persecute us. We are not God, though. Thank goodness for that! His vision is eternal and from a much broader, all-encompassing perspective. We can be assured, however, that He never leaves us alone with our tears. He hears our weeping and holds every sorrow. (Psalm 56:8)

I do not know what road you are maneuvering today, friend. But this I know for sure, if you remain the passenger, and let Abba Father steer the wheel, it may hurt, and it may sting but hang on to the truth that He is ultimately guiding you to a destination that will be for your gain and His glory. It may take a while to realize the results of the pilgrimage you or a loved one are traveling; sometimes it is not in this life. But faith is the conviction of what we do not see, not certainty in what we do. (Hebrews 11:1) Persevering faith is everlasting; present fact is equivocal. Believe in where you are and where you are going, not because you understand it, but because of The One Who does.

Welcome, Lord

- dannalundstrom

Weary, friend, I know the road you are traveling feels lonely, exhausting and at times unbearable. Sometimes you are so ready for peace, and it feels like God is not answering your plea for help.

This week The Lord has been reminding me that often I am more disillusioned by the failure of my arrangements than the fruition of His answers. He is answering, but probably not within the parameters of the controlled, tidy box where I frame MY plans. His purpose is much higher than we can imagine, and God’s seemingly silent ambivalence does not mean absence, but very often action.

It is within the realm of our trials that the resurrection is awakening.

Remember, not to put your outcome in a box; God does not fit there. Keep looking up. Take the next right step and remain faithful.  As pilgrims, we must not get so busy wishing ourselves out of situations that we forget to welcome God into them.

I love this quote and hope it encourages you:

“The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.”
Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart

You are loved!♥️

Prayer

- dannalundstrom

It is prayer through things, not out of them that moves mountains. Sometimes my prayers are not answered the way I desire. When they are bound to my expectations, not my evolution the disappointment can lead to despair.

It is right and natural to pray for circumstances, especially difficult ones, to change. Jesus demonstrated that for us when He asked, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.” But we cannot miss what He says next, “Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Jesus was facing the most unimaginable circumstances, and He did ask for a different way, but ultimately His heart’s desire was the will of His Father not the way of His flesh.

It was not until I came to understand and trust the character of God and the location of my final destination that I could afford to pray with a boldness that says, Lord, here is my earnest plea, but it does not trump my longing for your eternal plan. My prayers shifted from being less about relief to more about refinement. If this cannot change, God, change me.

When I desire self-modification more than circumstantial transformation, my communion with The Father is lighter, and I am free to risk more because it is not about a particular outcome but a positive income. Praise seeps in when personal comfort steps out, and God is glorified. That is the objective of prayer. God’s glory. Not mine.

When we pray through the valley of suffering ourselves or with a friend, and we see God’s faithfulness and ever-present provisions in pain, it affords us patient perseverance because we know that He is good and His ways are sometimes hard, but always holy.

How can I pray for you today, friend?

Shine Where You Are Planted

- dannalundstrom

 

Uncertainty is one of the most significant barriers to a prolific life. There is a formidable enemy who loves to entangle our eyes and command our concern with questions such as, what if…?

In the presence of the unknown, and that would be every moment forward, it is easy to stumble into the mire of temporal thinking. The danger here is that we are rendered useless in the present because of our preoccupation with the worrisome possibilities of the future.

Lord Jesus, we often lug old crosses into the New Year, some shaded in a cloud of ambiguity. Help us to fix our senses on You, our unwavering Father, not an uncertain future. Give us the grace to be fruitful where we are right now, not where we think we need to be.
Comfortable, peaceful and problem-free are not prerequisites for productivity, as evidenced by the life of your Son. May we remember that and move forward with the perseverance that only comes from a dependant heart rooted in You.

Friend, I pray 2018 is a remarkable year for you, but this I know for sure, trials will come. There will inevitably be a voice telling you, “I cannot do anything until I get through this, (fill in the blank).”  If we live our lives listening to that lie, we will be shackled by stagnation.

We are just as valuable in the midst of our limping as we are running, sometimes even more.

Shine where you are planted and watch what grows not only inside of you but also around you.

I wish you an abundant New Year! I love you all.

 Photo: Havana, Cuba.

…And The Light Cannot Be Extinguisged

- dannalundstrom

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More and more the theme of my days seems to be an abundance of friends who are enduring hard times. Seasons that squeeze the wind out of the sails of souls, and disrupt the dance of beating hearts.  Last night I lit a fire, and as I sat praying and gazing at the fire I was drawn to the light.  It was as if I was being nudged to come closer and look with further scrutiny.  I went and sat on the hearth and was drawn into the sight of the fire.  I was so captivated by the bright light that I failed to notice until I got close, that surrounding the beautiful, brilliant flames was a lot of smoke.  The smoke, however, did not dim, disturb or diminish the multiple, flickering flames.  It occured to me that life is a lot like that fire.  Even though we do our best to build things just right and keep our light burning bright, there will always be smoke around.  It actually appears that the brighter we burn for Christ the heavier the smoke.  One fact for certain, if the fire is burning bright, the smoke cannot disturb its brilliance or perseverance without our permission that in times of chaos has to be guarded everyday.  Right to keep your lights burning, friends. You are loved!

The Power of Thorns

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

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What “thorns” are you living with today?   We all have at least one.   The thing we pray and pray that God will take away.   Sometimes He does, and sometimes He does not.   Maybe it is a chronic illness, a prodigal child, a broken relationship, a deep loss, addiction, or simply life did not turn out as we planned on many fronts.   Even the Apostle Paul lived with a “thorn” in his side.   He prayed to The Lord for the thorn to be removed, but He did not.

Paul demonstrates for us in 2 Corinthians 12 that it is possible to live with a “thorn” in our sides and still reflect the character of a loving God.   Whatever “thorn” you are living with today, maybe there are many, there is power in your “thorn.”   They afford us access to greater amounts of grace.   “Thorns” are the seeds that grow virtue, build character, perseverance, humility, empathy and so much more.  

We may never understand why God removes some “thorns” from our lives and not others.   Psalm 131:1 says, I do not concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp.   Asking why is futile. Resting in what is for now, is faith.

Father, I confess the “thorns” in my side sometimes steer me down a path of unbelief and away from you. Enable me to remember and practice their power that leads me down a path towards You.   Help us all remember today that the condition of our heart is always more important than the conditions of our life. Amen.

The Sweetest Fruit

- dannalundstrom

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When I was a child, we had a ditch that ran alongside and behind our property. It was a ditch, but from the perspective of my childhood imagination it was a rocky, dangerous ravine. The ditch, formidable as it was or was not, did have some steep, slippery spots. I would often fall and slide into the murky, water that sometimes housed water moccasins. Snakes terrified me, so I was hesitant to be too adventurous.

In the summertime, berries would grow on vines along that ditch. I distinctly remember that the biggest, most shiny and sweetest berries were in the most challenging spots to maneuver. I was a fearful child, so I didn’t venture to those places often, but when I did; oh to taste such sweet fruit! It could not compare to the berries growing in the flatter, less intimidating topography. Although I can remember being very afraid to pursue those berries, I knew the reward that was waiting for me, so I would muster the courage from time to time. I can still hear how loud my heart would beat. I can feel how fast it would race as if it would break out of my chest. My breathing would be fast and heavy, and I would be sweating but I would risk it all because I had experienced, and come to know the superior taste of the sweeter berries.

Life is a lot like the scary parts of that ditch, and the fruit experienced at its most precarious locations. We sometimes find ourselves in places where we risk falling, getting scraped and cut, and often that does happen. Life has a way of cutting us up, but God has a way of carving us from our slips and falls.

As I look back now, the sweetest and most nourishing fruit has been acquired in the most treacherous places. Sure, life is good when I am living on level land, but oh to taste the fruit of growth that only happens when we are in the ravenous ravines. It is here where we gain the sweetest rewards. Unlike capturing the berries, we may not immediately taste the sweetness of life’s valleys.

As I came to know the nature of those dangerous berries by taste, though, so I have come to know the character of God also through experience. If we are looking for God not just in the safe places but in the scary ones, too; if we know His faithfulness, we have confidence what joy awaits us. Experiencing God is what gives us the endurance and the strength to persevere through all the ditches we fall into throughout life. Also, knowing Him gives us the courage to get up and keep pursuing life, not from a position of safety but surrender. God enables us to walk victoriously through life’s intimidating places. Psalm 18:33 promises us this: He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

The fruit found in our most perilous places yields the greatest growth and the sweetest victories. If you are walking a rocky road right now, be encouraged. Dirt roads are paved with fertile soil.

Fear Versus Faith

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

My daughter and I have a tradition every morning during our commute to school.   She picks a Bible verse to read to me, and we discuss what it means and how we may apply it to our lives.   It has become a very special time for both of us.   It is my favorite time of the day!

Two days ago she read me Romans 12:2.   I loved that she picked that verse.   Our discussion was rich and applicable to our lives on many fronts.   It was a treasured discussion that I won’t soon forget!

The beauty of God’s word is how it imprints our hearts and ministers to us in our times of need. Yesterday was the perfect example.   I had a fearful day. I was thankful when I awoke at 3 AM this morning to have Romans 12:2 and many other appropriate verses that immediately became my defense against the enemies of the night such as anxiety and worry.

It is funny because the day before my daughter read Romans 12:2, I had listened to a sermon by Tim Keller on Romans 12:1.   Romans 12:1 says: And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you.   Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will find acceptable.   This is truly the way to worship him.

In the old testament, sacrifices were made in the form of animals.   We thankfully do not practice that style of sacrifice anymore.   Alternatively, we are the sacrifices we present to God each day.   It is an ongoing process of presenting our will, our desires and our needs to God and relinquishing our hands from them.   In his sermon, Keller humorously noted that the problem with living sacrifices is that they keep crawling off the altar.   He makes a great point!    In all seriousness, though, we are to be constant living sacrifices, and that takes intention, effort, determination, and time.   It is a marathon and not a sprint.

The truth is, whether we are running life as a marathon, renewing and committing ourselves to God daily or running as a sprint under our authority and sufficiency; both are challenging.   What the first gives us that the latter does not are promises of hope and joy.   It equips us with an ability to fall in all the pot holes along the race, only to rise, dust ourselves off and keep running.   The circumstances and conditions of our race do not define us, but they depict the character of a living God who lives inside us.   I would much rather be eternally equipped for the marathon of life, than dependent on myself or someone other than Jesus, to run this race with me.

When I fail to present myself coonsistently to God, renewing my mind daily, life gets messier than usual.

Fear is born of the world. It constantly lurks around vying for my attention.   It is an invisible assailant focused on extinguishing faith.   This is what fear looks like for me when I am not vigilant about soul maintenance:
F–fragile
E–emotional
A–alone
R–reactive

Alternatively, faith is not nurtured by the things of this temporary life, but an eternal one. Faith is a wiser choice, but it requires a constant renewing of my mind. Faith, while never perfectly mastered leads me closer to where I desire to be:
F–free
A–anchored
I–insulated
T–together
H–hopeful

Romans 12:2~Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

May we all run this race with joy and perseverance friends!   It is not efficient, but highly effective.   It is not for the weak but the wise.   It is not a promise of a perfect life but a purposeful one.   It is a promise of a perfect eternity.   That is good news!