Idols of the Heart

I grew up in a small peach colored house in Southeast Texas. We had a huge yard, roughly 1.5 acres I think. I spent most of my days as a younger child outside exploring the woods around my house, catching crawfish in the ditch that spiraled the side of our home and just enjoying the many possibilities that a big yard and an ambitious imagination afforded me.

In two particular areas of our yard where the landscape was lower and prone to hold water, you could hardly take more than a couple of steps without stepping on a “crawdad” mound. They were prolific! If you have never seen a crawdad mound, they are ugly. I would equate them to a tiny black or brown cone shaped igloo made of mud.

As a kid wanting to run, turn cartwheels, jump and roll in the green grass, particularly fresh cut, in wide open spaces, the crawdads and their homes were unwelcomed intruders. I can vividly remember ever day in the summer time I would kick those suckers over thinking I was reclaiming my territory. One by one, I would go through and clear my space for play. The frustrating thing about destroying the crawdad’s homes, however, was that it seemed that no sooner than I flattened them, I would return the next day to find them there again.

My attempts at creating a clean, green, grassy playground were endless. Day after day I would have to return to knock down the unsightly invaders to start with a clean slate for play.

This past week I was thinking about idols that set up home in my heart. Those thoughts are what rekindled my childhood memories of the crawdad mounds. I will think I have excavated an idol, feeling like I am ready to start anew, much like my play yard growing up. But the reality is, as soon as I rid myself of one, ten more crop up. Also, it is usually not very long before the “kicked out” idol resurfaces, and I have to deal with it yet again.

John Calvin said the human heart is a factory of idols. I will add to his observation that mine is no exception. Idols are the thieves of souls and confiscators of peace and joy. They are dressed up impostures that promise pleasure but ultimately never deliver the pacification they purport. They have an inferior half-life that leaves all partakers thirsty and still longing for more.

Tim Keller defines idols this way, “[An idol] is anything more important to you than God, anything that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, anything you seek to give you what only God can give.”

Idols are insidious. They can be occupying my heart and monopolizing my mind long before I realize it if I am not guarded. My heart and mind are permeable, and I have to be a good steward of them because our world is in pursuance of them on all fronts.

If you, like me, regularly find yourself having to expunge the idols that wedge themselves into your heart, do not be discouraged, friend. A wise person once told me that seeing more gaps in my life, is a sign of spiritual maturity.

Only what is acknowledged can be abolished. There is freedom in recognizing our sins because only what is seen can be surrendered. You are loved!

I Will Try Again Tomorrow

Yea, it is the end of one of those hard days when you feel beaten, battered and bruised, sometimes literally. Your heart has been spun up and wrung out.  Emotions have swirled through your body like a tidal wave leaving you feeling washed out, weak and worn.  You have been fighting all day for this person, praying like the persistent widow for that situation, enduring physical pain necessary for healing, and filtering waves of grief and gratitude that amidst it all, curiously still co-mingle.

There is finally a lull of silence with the parting of the sun; your soul settles slightly, and you know you must choose to either concede or conquer the day’s chaos.  Then comes a gentle reminder that you aren’t in this alone.  He’s in the midst of your pain.  He is present with your people, and he is bigger than that situation.

At the end of days like this, I am so grateful that the Psalms are in the Bible.  Many days I am living them as sure as I am breathing; crying out for relief, reassurance, direction, strength and forgiveness.  Then, when the commotion begins to settle slightly I reach deep within to find despite it all gratitude, thanksgiving, worship, and redemption slowly start marching along to the beat of my broken heart.  I take a breath, and each one becomes a little deeper, a little deeper, and finally I enter a state of ailing rest, remembering that tomorrow, should she come, holds new mercies, strength, grace and fuel for the road ahead.

Today must be released to the past, and it is then when I hear the soft but resolute roar;

I will try again tomorrow!

And you friend must courageously commit also to engage again tomorrow with a fresh mind and hopeful heart!  You are loved.

Perfectly Imperfect

934b04d9fe187fd8d1778cd86f80c3eb

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.  Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”  Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

Does this crush you?  It sure does me if I am using it as a motto to live instead of a model to learn!  I cannot measure up to this, and I cannot think of anyone who does.  This passage is not meant to condemn us, though, but rather point us to our need for Jesus.  Also, the last part is the concept we all need to grasp. A woman who fears The Lord will be greatly praised.  Fear in this sense does not have a negative connotation, but a positive one.  Do we live in reverence, of God, desiring to please Him and be obedient to His will?  Do we do this to make ourselves look good, or because we understand the sacrifice Jesus endured for us, and we want to honor Him out of an understanding of the deep love He has for us? A love so sincere and pure that he died for us.  If we try to be good out of our strength we will never measure up; we will be crushed by our failures.

Mom shame is one of the deadliest tools of the enemy that depletes our self-worth, peace,  joy and contentment.  We have all experienced it, and we have all felt the condemnation that accompanies it.

Yesterday morning was one of those less than stellar mom mornings for me.  I was feeling remnants of anger and frustration from an event the night before, and the scurry of the morning had further contributed to my agitation.

In my sinfulness, at a point along our drive during morning carpool, I pounded my hand hard on the steering wheel.  I spoke no words, but my action resounded loudly.

Immediately I felt shame and convicted by The Lord.  I had just modeled very ungodly behavior for my children. It threatened my “good mom righteousness,” (which is sinful in itself, but that is a whole other post!) and I felt condemned.

After the kids had gotten out of the car, I pulled over and prayed a prayer of repentance and then asked Jesus to help me rest under the warm, peaceful shade of the promise given in Isaiah 30:15~ In repentance and rest is your salvation.

After getting right with The Lord, I knew I had to apologize to my children.  Boy, that is a lot of fun! Humility is holy, but sometimes very hard.

I sent both kids a text that read: I modeled bad behavior for you this morning.  I am sorry I let the frustration in my heart show itself in my action this morning.  I have repented and asked Jesus for forgiveness.  I am also asking for forgiveness from both of you.  I was wrong, and that is why I need Jesus every day!  Love you both, Mom.

The Lord was merciful as He showed me there is good that comes even from my goof ups if I am seeking Him.  After repenting, I felt at peace.  God can bring redemption to every story in our book of life.  He showed me that sometimes my biggest mess ups are my best means to teach my children lessons of eternal value; such as repentance, prayer, and most importantly how much we all need a Savior!

Moms, give yourself a break.  Nowhere does it say we should be perfect, just progressing.  When your brokenness comes knocking, and it will, model for your children how to restore it in a way that redeems and glorifies the Lord.  Sometimes it is our biggest mistakes that convey our best messages when we frame them in the context of the gospel!

Perfectly imperfect,
D’Anna

Let It Be You, Jesus

 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Jesus let it be your heart not headlines that capture us.  Some days discouragement seems the easier option.  Remind us you are in the business of deliverance despite destruction.  Your mercy and grace reach the biggest of mess ups, the deepest of deceptions and the grandest of griefs.  I ask you to encourage us in our brokenness today, Father.  Amen.

ALL THINGS

IMG_9494

Dear friends,

Remember every situation that comes your way today, tomorrow, and beyond, God has a promise for it that is ALL encompassing for those who love Him.  There are no exclusions, and it is so steadfast that it is substantial enough to console, energize, revitalize and sustain us through every valley we walk.  Romans 8:28.  ALL THINGS.  That one little, three letter word, ALL, makes my life so much lighter when I keep my gaze focused there.  It is not a promise of instant relief, but infallible redemption.  May you find rest there today.