Tag: relationships

You Already Are Accepted

- dannalundstrom

My selfish desire is for everyone to be pleased with me, because of this, the relationships in my life that I am insecure about cause me to be anxious.  I never know if I am enough or am doing enough to be loved and accepted by the other person.  I begin to believe the lie that I have to perform in a way that pleases that person to gain their acceptance.  That is bad news and not a healthy or peaceful way to live.

A relationship we have to earn will always end in our hearts getting burned.  

Here is the good news of the gospel of Jesus; we do not have to do good works to be loved and accepted; we do good works because we already are loved and accepted.  Isn’t that a breath of fresh air?!  A relationship we have to earn is one that will always end in our hearts getting burned.

Give Me Presence Not Plans, Lord

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

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We are a world of Martha’s, Lord.  May I serve with and be surrounded by hearts like Mary.  Let me not be captive to responsibilities but concerned by relationships.  May I be present with people and not preoccupied with plans because if today never matures into tomorrow, it will not be productivity but presence that mattered.  Amen.

Our Father Is Bigger

- dannalundstrom 1 Comment

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The last month The LORD has been working a lot in my heart.   Specifically in two ways I am aware of and probably in others that I am unconsciously aware, too.   Life is hard!   Parenting is hard.   Marriage is hard.   Relationships are hard.   Life is hard!

Recently we have been dealing with a difficult issue that broke my heart for all parties involved that arose from gossip.   I think we all forget, gossip is a sin.   I know I have to be very mindful of it.   A very knowledgeable friend gave me the best advice I have ever received regarding gossip; ”If you are not part of the problem or the solution, then you should not be talking.”   That is very sound counsel that I try to use as a filter for my words before I speak. I am imperfect.   I am also vulnerable to the devastation of gossip, as is everyone breathing.  

As I have been reeling in pain lately, an older, wiser friend reminded me, “D’Anna, God your Father is much greater than you a mother, spouse, daughter, friend…”   At that moment, her words were the balm for my aching soul.   Although I was deeply affected by what happened, I was reminded I was not, and never am fully in charge of anyone’s well-being, even my children.   God is in charge, and His ways are always perfect, although sometimes very painful!  

The second way the Lord has been refining me is that I did not realize how much responsibility I was carrying for people’s actions around me.   I am quick to forget that I am only responsible for myself, and while I may play a role in how people act, I am not responsible.   They are!   Taking responsibility has been a tremendous amount of weight I have been bearing.  

Recently when I was sitting in quiet reflection, these words became audible in my head.   “No matter how someone acts, it should not affect how you are called to react.”   Does that mean I do not respond at all?   No. It simply means God originally designed me to react in a manner that is pleasing to Him, not me.   Also, I am not responsible for the actions of others–they are.   Friends, starting to understand that concept is the beginning of a large dose of freedom.   Practicing this has allowed me to love better and live bolder.   It is like getting a haircut, having a thorough house cleaning or getting all the laundry done. You just feel lighter!

Taking on the responsibility for the actions of others crushes us and allows the enemy to win.   He does not want us delivered; he wants us defeated.   Taking the liability for your prodigal child, your struggling spouse, your suffering friend or whomever in your life that you are enmeshed with creates insanity.   We definitely have a role in the lives and circumstances of the people we love, but NOT ultimate responsibility.   God The Father is much bigger than we the (fill in the blank.)   Who are you bearing responsibility for today?   Lay them at the feet of Jesus and pray for them because YOU cannot perfect them.   May you all be free to let your Father be in charge today and every day.

The Rescue is in the Relationship

- dannalundstrom

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I know a lot of you are facing some very difficult circumstances. Trails and hardships that threaten your desire to wake up, to get dressed, to smile, and carry on. I can confidently say I am familiar with that place. A few years ago, I went through a trial that positioned me in such despair that I gained a new identity-victim. Life alternates between numbness, crying, anger and fear there. I was drowning in a set of circumstances with no life preserver.

Why? I had plenty of friends for support. I went to a good church, and had all my life. I had a supportive family. I had every provision I needed. I had…I had…I had so much, yet none of it was enough to save me from my own despair. It was there, broken and helpless, that God found me.

It’s a perplexing thing to understand. I had been in church all my life. He hadn’t found me, or I him before? No! I had found a religion, not a relationship. I had found a lot of laws, not a lot of grace. I had found a lot of truth and not a lot of freedom. I had found a book called the Bible, but not the gospel. I had heard but I didn’t really hear. I saw, but didn’t really see, and I knew, but didn’t really know, didn’t really know-HIM.

It was not until I entered the darkest place that I began to find the light. For when things are always bright we cannot see, and when we cannot see we will eventually stumble. I say all this to encourage you that when life feels overwhelming, unbearable and hopeless, we can choose hope and peace, because it is in the darkness that we see the light, and it is only by the light that we find our way.

Rescue comes in the Relationship, and I did very little on my own to initiate that. All I did was start showing up, and some days it was a battle to do that! I can tell you, though, once you have been dragged through a dense forest, once you have been redeemed from victim to victor, subsequent trails, which are no doubt inevitable, become such a different experience! If for no other reason they draw us into compete lack of self-sufficiency, and into complete dependance upon a Savior. The more you need someone, the more you get to know them. Then a curious thing happens, the more you get to know Jesus, the more you want to spend time with him, and it only gets sweeter from there.

I’m not going to lie, some circumstances are outright unthinkable, but you can choose to find one positive thing in the midst of them, and that is an invitation…come broken, come messy, come weary, come over burdened-just come! I will personally testify-HE will meet you there. Trust me, I am there a lot, and I do know!