Tag: suffering

A Hard and Holy Christmas

- dannalundstrom 2 Comments

A Hard and Holy Christmas

I wish for life to be like a Hallmark movie where love and contentment always win. The ending is tidy and sealed in a pretty package accentuated with a red bow, but that is entertainment and far removed from reality. These movies lead me off course every year around the holidays. They provide a magical escape from the tender truths that are indigenous to what many profess to be the happiest time of the year. There is a not-so-jolly presence that we cannot escape, though. Suffering. The Christmas season is prone to hold a magnifying glass up to an unfair world.

The shattered fragments of people’s pain wear many faces, hold no prejudices, and do not adhere to calendars or circumstances. Maybe the agony shows up in the loss of health, a job, a relationship; a loved one, or the incredible heartache that settles in when we hear someone has to bury their child. Broken people, broken families, broken worlds; may all present differently, but fractured hearts are inherent to us all. The holidays, as merry and bright as they are for many, are equally melancholy for others.

Life is incongruent with my desire for everyone to be happy, but I have learned this difficult lesson: happiness is a circumstantial frailty, not a gospel actuality. Without the assurance of our eternal inheritance, we stand here poor, hopeless, and lost.

Hope is hard and holy, yet both were the backdrop for the birth of our Savior. Nothing in this world lacks the melodic marriage of beauty and brutality. That is not easy, but when we focus on the tenants of the first, it fosters gratitude despite the latter.

In his last words, a 1700s French writer captured something very tragic yet significant. “And so I leave this world, where the heart must either break or turn to lead.” ~ Nicolas Chamfort

Sometimes our greatest challenge as we go about living in this world that is remarkable one moment and ruthless the next is continuing to engage. It is tempting to check out, but we are called to check-in. Numbing our hearts feels like safety, but it dims love and light in a world that desperately needs them. Is leaning into life straightforward in our climate of unparalleled death, destruction, and hatred? No, it is not effortless, but it is essential.

I know many of you are facing unspeakable burdens. My heart aches for you. Right now, pressing in may feel overwhelming. That is understandable. Take the next smallest step in the right direction, and your stamina will increase over time if you keep your hand to the plow. We, unfortunately, have to drink from the cup of hurt before we can be quenched by the hand of The Healer; but God will not forsake His children. One way He manifests himself is through community. I pray wherever you find yourself today, the love of those around you warms, even if just slightly, the weeping heart inside you. Your internal song may never be the same, but I know your soul will sing again. The lessons grief teaches will remain with you and be the balm for the next hurting heart that crosses your path. At the intersection of someone else’s pain, yours will find purpose, and that makes all the difference!

He Already Knew

- dannalundstrom
Last week I was apologizing to a friend, and she kindly said to me, “I had my mind made up about you a long time ago.” Those words gently landed on my heart leaving an imprint that I don’t think I will soon forget. They have clothed my mind like a warm hug every day since.This morning when I walked out onto my porch, I was marveling at the beautiful sky, and those words softly sang to me again, I had my mind made up about you a long time ago. I think God must want us, His children, to know that. No matter how far we fall, where we stray, how dark the depression or crushing the anxiety; God already knew, and He loves us anyway. ‪Abba‬ Father knew every word of our story because His hands authored each plot, twist, turn, comma, period and question mark. Through the highs and the lows, our sins and sufferings, redemption and renewal God was there; He saw us and had His mind made up.For a long time I was a passively, complacent child, but sometimes great loss pushes us out of our places of unexamined comfort to positions of challenging questions. Questions force me to dig deeper, searching for answers, understanding, and acceptance. But God’s ways are not predicated on my approval, rather His assurance.

Some questions, especially spiritual ones, have no clear answers and the Bible tells me that in Deuteronomy 29:29~ “The secret things belong to the LORD our God…God does not want or expect me to understand everything. He asks that I trust His faithfulness not my feelings. Still, God knows that like the persistent child I am, I will circle back to wrestling and striving to comprehend that which is not for me to realize. Because He made up His mind about me a long time ago, despite it all, He still calls me His beloved.

Sometimes in the midst of life’s chaos, one of my biggest challenges is as one writer put it, “living loved.” I think one key to “loved living” is to remember that God made His mind up a long time ago, and I have little power to make myself unloveable to Him. The same is true for you, friend. May we live loved today-God’s Day.

The Light

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It appears there are two, but there are four.

Darkness skews our vision.

Deceives us.

Lies.

It masks reality.

When it feels like there is only darkness around you and before you, remember the light is always behind you.

Shining.

Guiding.

Supporting.

Lighting the way.

Leading to paths of rest, redemption and righteousness.

Don’t give up.

The darkness, no matter how deceptive it is, will never extinguish the hope that is exclusive to the Light.

Standing In The Storm

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To be alive is to know pain and heartache. Life gives us many trials, and often they are more significant than our mind and bodies can endure. If we spend too much time looking at the storms, we will drown. We do have to acknowledge them, and sometimes even stand in the very vortex of them, but we do not have to be swallowed up by them. We can choose to fix our attention on something higher.

As an ice skater must set her sight on an unchanging, reliable point when she is spinning to maintain stability; we too must set our eyes on a never-changing rock that anchors us amidst the battering waves of life’s adversity. It is where we fix our gaze that is the determining factor for our level of peace.

Sometimes if we are honest, there can be comfort in the storms, and we find it much easier to reside there.

Impostures thrive in darkness.

We must fight to keep our eyes locked on The Light. Fight for eternal not earthly sight, friends.

Our vision shapes our perspective and our perspective, our thoughts. It is so crucial that we are good managers of our minds, for as the mind regards, the man responds.

For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. ~2 Corinthians 4:18

This hope is a secure and trustworthy anchor for our souls. ~ Hebrews 6:19

Not If, But What, When

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The act of being saved is a one-time event, but for me, the act of living saved is a daily commitment.

I was listening to John Piper this morning, and he said, “for believers, it is not a question of if we will face anxiety, but what we will do about it when we do.”

I can dress myself up on the outside, all the while there is a storm churning on the inside. I am in a difficult season of battling the anxieties that strike like a thief in the night without warning, leaving me fighting for breath and feeling like the weight of the world is on my chest with a hold around my neck. It is not fun, but as I have come to know, hard and holy walk hand in hand. Enduring the droughts of affliction are strenuous, but the presence of my Savior in their midst is always sacred. I am very thankful that when we drink from the cup of suffering it is two-sided, a battle and a blessing.

Anxiety is a taboo subject in our society, especially in Christian circles. We live and love in a fallen world. Therefore, it should be no surprise that even the most faithful disciples are vulnerable to anxious hearts and minds. What I was reminded of this morning as John Piper said is that it is not the if but the what that is important. What are you, am I, going to do about it?

Like any trial, we have a choice to cave or to conquer. I am not suggesting that there is a magic wand that can be waved and poof, anxiety or any other problem is gone. That would be nice, I suppose, but we would miss the fruits of refinement. What I am saying is that we are not powerless to any attack the enemy launches.

Many days in my effort to survive, I have been rendered helpless in the face of the fire. You see, when I am busy fencing God’s battles, I forget to be still and let Him do the fighting for me. Dealing with anxiety does not have to be a place of passive punishment, but it also should not be a place of polluted panic either. We have divinely designed tools available to us. Jesus knew we would need weapons for warfare, and thus supplied them. Think of one of His most tormenting times in The Garden of Gethsemane. He went to pray and took a few of the disciples with Him and said, “stay here and watch with me.” Matthew 26:38. It seems that He was leaning on His friends to unite with Him and provide support. Why should we be any different?

Looking back, it has been on the days I have reached out to a friend and asked for prayer, laid my bible on my chest, turned on worship music and actively sought the Lord and His helpers that I found the most relief. It isn’t that all anxiousness disappeared, but there was a noticeable easing of intensity and peace that paved the way for perseverance.

I have been resting a lot lately in the words of Psalm 91. The first verse is a poignant picture of the mercy God offers us in the presence of peril. He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. ~ Psalm 91:1

The word dwell in this verse means to sit. It is a depiction of peaceful rest. Also, abide means to lodge or live, speaking to those who make The Lord their home.

When God is our place of repose, there are blessings, grace, and mercies available to us that I otherwise miss when I put myself, or worse, the enemy in charge. It is so easy to forget where my sanctuary is. The world offers many imitators who make a lot more noise, commanding my attention and sometimes my affection. Impostures are short-term, addictive and only leave us rattled, never restored.

Friend, I do not know what you may be walking through today. Maybe you are enjoying streams of abundance, or perhaps you are riding the rapids. Either way, we all face times when we must choose to fight or fall. As I need to remember so many days, our best defense, Our God and His abundant provisions, is a place of peace but not always passivity. Jesus invites us to Him, Matthew 11:28, come to me all you who are weary. This verse implies action on our part, and we cannot retreat to His asylum if we have relented to assaults.

I know it is easy to become a weary warrior, but Jesus ransomed us more for endurance through the difficult times than enjoyment through the delightful times. Sometimes we forget to ask for that which was secured for us. Don’t give up. Lean on the prayers of a friend. Live under the provisions of your Father.

Lord God, it is you who leads us to that is best equipped to see us through. I know that in all the hard places you maintain holy purposes. Give us eyes to see your eternal possibilities, not our earthly problems. Amen.

Prayer

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It is prayer through things, not out of them that moves mountains. Sometimes my prayers are not answered the way I desire. When they are bound to my expectations, not my evolution the disappointment can lead to despair.

It is right and natural to pray for circumstances, especially difficult ones, to change. Jesus demonstrated that for us when He asked, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.” But we cannot miss what He says next, “Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”

Jesus was facing the most unimaginable circumstances, and He did ask for a different way, but ultimately His heart’s desire was the will of His Father not the way of His flesh.

It was not until I came to understand and trust the character of God and the location of my final destination that I could afford to pray with a boldness that says, Lord, here is my earnest plea, but it does not trump my longing for your eternal plan. My prayers shifted from being less about relief to more about refinement. If this cannot change, God, change me.

When I desire self-modification more than circumstantial transformation, my communion with The Father is lighter, and I am free to risk more because it is not about a particular outcome but a positive income. Praise seeps in when personal comfort steps out, and God is glorified. That is the objective of prayer. God’s glory. Not mine.

When we pray through the valley of suffering ourselves or with a friend, and we see God’s faithfulness and ever-present provisions in pain, it affords us patient perseverance because we know that He is good and His ways are sometimes hard, but always holy.

How can I pray for you today, friend?

A Pilar of Comfort

- dannalundstrom

When Carter was in the intensive care unit in Oregon after his traumatic brain injury, he was struggling with pain and double vision. In the early morning hours after an arduous night, he asked me to come and lay beside him because he saw two of me and he would feel better if the real one was close to him. As I laid there, my heart ached because I could not take the pain away. I wanted to be his substitute but had to settle as his soother instead.

Friend, God must see you, His child, like I saw mine in those wrenching moments. He looks down and knows you are struggling, in pain and hurting. For reasons you do not understand, He cannot take the pain away, but He does desire for you to invite him to come and lay down beside you so that He may be a pillar of comforter and peace.

The love of God does not negate our suffering, but it gives us what we need to get through and beyond it.

I pray you welcome Him into your circumstances tonight and that His peace is perceivable in your weary heart and pacifying to your worn out hands.

Be watchful. His steadfast faithfulness manifests in many ways.

You are loved.❤️

Purpose Amidst Imperfection 

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Nestled amidst the sunrise of a fresh week and all the promise it holds is an ever faithful reminder of my inadequacy. I am presently, but peacefully aware that I got more wrong than right last week, and that will surely be my truth this week as well.

My keen sense of insufficiency poses a different purpose for me now, though. Growing in grace teaches me that it is no longer about striving for perfection only to be frustrated, but seeking purpose amidst my imperfection only to be furthered.

 It is an incongruent truth that on the other side of our failures is an intention designed for our prosperity. 

Understanding that falling down is not a shameful thing, but a sacred tool is the genesis of praise. Praise opens the door and welcomes gratitude right into our hearts.

When gratitude is our guest, we see through all the heavy right into the heart of the holy, and joy becomes a source of our strength. 

This week, friend, I pray you have eyes to see and ears to hear all the beauty that your brokenness beholds, and your heart will sing, it is good and it is well with my soul.
You are loved.❤️

His Promises Endure

- dannalundstrom

I am a tremendously deep feeler in a terribly fallen world. I experience your success and your suffering, your communication, verbal and non-verbal, your actions and your inactions. I endure all your raw edges and finely buffed emotions. I sense your masks because I have worn them as well, but I long to see your soul. I carry your praises and your pain, and that is why I laugh a lot but frequently lament, too. Some people would say I am a mess. Some days I say, I am a mess. That is ok because it is in the sediment of tribulation that I discover significance when I have anchored my eyes, ears, and heart towards the eternal message that I know is always there. Right now the world sits raw and heavy upon my heart. I feel like I am in a tug of war between the desire to surrender to the sadness or continue standing despite its presence. There is only one choice for me; I know that. But, the fight is real! Thank you, Father, for your promises that endure all storms, whether we are standing well or weary.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

“I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

 

Tears

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Large trees in snowy climates are designed to drop their branches when the weight of falling snow gets too heavy for them to bear. It is like a dance planned by a Director that is out of the trees control. The Choreographer knows exactly when the branches need to release pressure so they don’t break. Our tears are a lot like that, also. They are not on our timetable, and that can be both frustrating and sometimes awkward. Like the beautiful tree branches, though, we were designed by God in such a way to let go of building burdens so we may bend but not break. Isn’t it amazing that our Father was so attentive to every little detail, even the timing of our tears? He crafts exactly when they will fall so He will be there to capture them all. He is holding you amidst your burdens today, friends. He is the Creator and the Caretaker of every last tear. Rest in His arms today. You are loved.❤️