Hey you, hey me, the thirsty, the desperate, the depleted, the exhausted…those barriers, wounds and struggles in our lives are not present by accident. They are there by assignment. Things that challenge us to our core either create or crush us. They are available for our gain and God’s glory. The difference in destroying us or defining us is our resolve to find the meaning and mission in our messes.
Trials do not always come from God‘s hands, but they come through them. We can rest in that. He has touched every tragedy and challenge before we endured it.
Our tears are sifted by God before they are shed by us. He has held them, and He will heal them in His time and according to His purpose.
The new year is sometimes more of the old, the hard and the worn out. You are not alone. Let your perspective be colored by God’s purpose, not your pain. He is working on our behalf. Believe it, look for it, expect it and never lose hope! We can give rest to our resolving, riddled souls, because one thing is for sure, relief will come through God’s strength, not our striving. It will be in His timing not our tweaking. Father, give us all the grace to REST in your sovereign authority today and all days. When we forget, gently turn us away from our struggles and back to your safe shelter. Amen.
Sewn within every great struggle, and branded into every thread of brokenness are immense possibilities. Ministry, connection, growth and healing grant our greatest grievances capabilities to be molded into our most priceless gifts.
Father give us a vision for a world where our “to bless list” is longer and more urgent than our “to do list.” Equip us with a grace that not only enables us to be hearers and doers of your word, but also seekers of your sheep. In the midst of our schedules, commitments and responsibilities, we often look at your people but do not authentically see them. We are all broken brothers Father. Where brokenness is present, pain and struggle pervasively reside in hearts. We know that you record every hurt and collect every tear from above, but down here, let us be good stewards of Your love and compassion. May we not only be present with our intentions but persistent with our actions. Train us to recognize and react to opportunity for blessing in every situation we encounter. May we love and bless with humble and surrendered hearts, as to minimize us and maximize You. Amen.
I do not see, but I will follow.
I do not hear, but I will listen.
I do not comprehend, but I will fight to believe. Heavenly Father help all those who are struggling through pain, suffering and unthinkable trials today to trust and rest in you. May we all walk not by our senses or understanding, but guided by faith that although sometimes is shaken, it is never shattered!
Amen
For weary souls and feeble hearts, remember this today:
It isn’t in the midst of great times and a carefree life that God comes after hearts. Nor is it within the paramaters of easy that souls become dehydrated enough to thirst after Him, and the living water that only Jesus can offer.
No matter how much you are hurting, or whatever circumstances you are enduring, God is working much more in and through your pain and frustration than He ever could your happiness.
Fight to believe that, and speak that truth to yourself repeatedly until it gives you rest!
We are having a good number of windows replaced around our house the next few days. As I am sitting here watching these guys rip away the old; it occurred to me I am watching a picture of life.
These windows needed caulked and painted a long time ago, and because they were not, that lapse of care allowed for environmental elements to compromise not only the windows, but their surrounding support structures, too. The more they take out; the more decomposition years of neglect exposes.
Disregard transitions the process of restoration from superficial to deep rooted.
I am a lot like those windows. Whether it be my health, my relationships, nourishment of my soul…neglect creates a threshold for degeneration in all those realms. Once rot sets in, over time it runs deeper and deeper through those areas, just like my windows.I can unknowingly arrive at a place of deep disintegration simply from a failure to consistently maintain.
The demands of life can keep me distracted and busy. It becomes easy to disregard soul maintenance above all things. When I become negligent in my time spent with The Lord, unwanted impostures take root in my heart. You may know some of them? Anxiety, worry, and fear are a few of the familiar ones.
My mind and heart require daily nourishment and cleansing to protected me from destructive paths. Proverbs 4:23 illustrates this so beautifully ~Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Part of guarding my heart requires consistent, fruitful nourishment. It is not an efficient process, but it is highly effective.
When I neglect my spiritual well being, days become exhausting. Life is already difficult. It is essential to be intentional so that I may weather storms without the threat of deep-rooted destruction.
I picked up my Bible this morning feeling weary. World events, daily challenges, people I love that are hurting; it all takes a toll. I asked God before opening his word, to let my eyes fall on what I needed to see this morning. Also, that He would equip me with the grace to not just see, but to understand and subsequently live.
With one providentially designed flip of my Bible, my eyes landed on 2 Corinthians 4:10~ Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.
Wow, I love that! It is in no other place than our suffering that the glory, power, faithfulness and love of Jesus can be illuminated so profoundly and with such clarity. This may sound counterintuitive to you, but I find honor in the fact that we have the opportunity through or tribulations to reflect the image of Jesus to others.
His reflection does not mean pasting on a fake smile every day, and saying God is in control. It does not mean we say to our friends, “I’m doing fine;” when that is not the case. Sometimes it means remembering life is hard, and I am human, but I have hope in a Savior who shares in my struggles. He collects every tear and gently stores them in a bottle. He sees scars inside us that only are visible to Him, and soothes them with a balm that He singularly possesses.
Living as I say I believe means remembering that although God may appear quiet at times, I trust His understanding, not mine. God answers every prayer the moment we voice them with one of three answers; yes, no or wait. Remembering that and being open to His wisdom, and not bound to my expectations is an ingredient to peace.
Life may lead us down many dirt roads, but with Jesus we never travel those dusty roads alone. It is on those very paths He reveals Himself to us, and our faith and trust in Him become stronger and real.
Oh, how He loves us! His love is too deep for us to know easy all the time. That would only give us a strong foothold in self-sufficiency.
He loves us enough that He wants us to seek and know him in an intimate relationship. I would never arrive there if everything were always easy. I don’t enjoy trials. When my mind is redirected to their primary purpose, though; how can I not be grateful?
This life is not eternal. It is just our prelude to Heaven. It is our warm up, our training camp, our one and only run through before we enter Heaven’s gates. If we are lucky; at some point in this life we authentically mature to a degree where our soul’s deepest desire is nothing this life can afford us. Our deepest longing becomes to know a Savior with such a thirst that our hearts song is; come Lord Jesus come so that I may see your face. My journey is teaching me that we arrive at this destination through the experential character of a loving Father whose faithfulness and glory shine brightest through our darkest days.
And the angel of the LORD appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed.~Exodus 3:2
This is a beautiful illustration of the hope we all have in this life. When situations are searing our hearts, they do not have to saturate our souls. When circumstances are tough and trials are heavy; we may feel shaken, but we do not have to be shattered. Because the bush was burning, but not consumed, we can face the fires of our days with inextinguishable confidence and experience the beauty and affliction of the fire without forever being burned. #preachingtoself
We just got home from a day of doctor appointments that started at 8:30 AM. I am not going to tell you I’m not tired. I’m not going to tell you I’m not a little weary or sad. I am all those things. I don’t have it all together, but I know I don’t have to. I have a Savior who has completed me in all the spaces I am weak, and they are many…I am weak but He is strong… I don’t need to know anything beyond the next right thing to do in this moment because after today, everything feels a little overwhelming to stare at too long. Looking anywhere beyond the present only offers me an unsettled mind and unbelieving heart.
When things are hard, when our expectations are threatened or overturned, it is easy to turn our life over to the wrong trinity-fear, anxiety and worry. I have been under that authority before, but I will not go there again. Being intentional about facing challenges, but not focusing on them will be essential for all of us during Carter’s recovery.
I am, however, mourning a few things today, but I am standing under God’s grace, and mourning is ok for a time. Psalm 30:5~ weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning. It is hard as a mom to sit and watch your child’s face when he is hearing some of the things he heard today. It is hard to watch him absorb the reality of likely loosing activities he loves, and that bring him joy. I know there are many parents who are, or have experienced this feeling, and much worse. My heart goes out to you!
Because of Carter’s head injury, he does not understand a lot of this process, and his insight into his deficits is limited. At my age, I can reason and realize that life is pinned on so much more than starting school as a “normal” kid with a normal schedule. I can understand that when God redirects my plans or takes away something that brings me great joy, he has a better path in mind. Carter cannot at this point, and as I watched his face today, my heart broke. There is so much to be grateful for, but there is also a lot that he will have to adapt to.
Physically he is doing great, but there are implications from the head trauma he sustained internally that are going to present challenges ahead, and possibly limit activities that bring him great pleasure. I need to mourn this for a short time, and help him to as well, but then I hope to help him redirect his hope and focus to not what is lost, but what is to be gained.
I have heard it said that we should not only ask what would Jesus do, but equally as important, WHAT IS JESUS DOING? This question affords me such hopeful anticipation because I know He is good and He is steadfast. Lamentations 3:22-23 ~Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
In God’s economy, doors do not close accidentally. I do not believe any of this came from God, but it did come through him. That gives me great hope that he has plans our insufficient minds cannot perceive for Carter. There is such relief and hope in that perspective. ~For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.!Isaiah 43:19
There are so many positives that came out of today. Carter continues to improve. His headaches are better. His balance is good, and his vision has improved significantly. He can walk, talk, smile, laugh, see and hear normally-praise The Lord. We met with Dr Joe Ackerson today who provided balm for this messy mom’s soul. He did some cognitive testing with Carter today, but will need to do much more in two weeks. Today he is writing a plan for school that he will have to us by the days end. This will detail what his school days will look like for now. They will be limited and Carter will have a lot of modifications and restrictions. Dr. Ackerson was wonderful with Carter, and he was wonderful with us as parents. He assured us confidently that he is here to walk this road with us and be Carter’s advocate.
Carter will be assigned a case worker from Children’s who will also help us work with the school to ensure he is getting everything he needs. Trevor and I stopped at the high school between appointments today, and we have a meeting tomorrow with a team who will be working with us on all school related logistics. We were very grateful that a meeting was arranged by the school so quickly. Since school starts Monday, having a plan initiated is a great relief for us and Carter.
When things look dark, there is always light to be found. I am going to be having Carter around a lot more for now. In looking at the positive of that, I am so thankful! I enjoy his company. He is funny and we laugh a lot. I feel so blessed that he will be keeping me company for awhile.
Today we also saw the neurosurgeon, and he has set Carter up in the traumatic brain injury clinic at Children’s Hospital. Dr Davis will manage his care there, and he and Dr. Ackerson will collaborate together. He too, will be joining with us as we navigate this current state of “normal.” The presence of these two advocates feels like such an immense weight lifted off my heart. Carter will continue PT twice a week for his shoulder as well. He is not using that arm very well, and still has a good bit of pain. It will eventually recover fully, but it is going to take some time.
There is no way to determine the recovery of the loss of cognitive function, but we stand firmly confident that Carter will be restored to his pre-accident status. Regardless, our hope does not hinge on the degree of his recovery, but on the sovereignty of The Author of his life. God is in the midst of writing this story, and has been since the moment Carter sat on that bike. We stand fully confident in His plans, and less in His provisions, because we have experienced and know His character. Thank you all from the deepest places of my heart for the continued outpouring of prayer, love and support.
Life is about enjoying, but as Christians, more than we are comfortable admitting, it is often more about enduring…enduring the diagnosis, enduring the loss of a job, broken relationships, the addiction, the absence of a prodigal child or spouse who likely may never return home. Life is about enduring the daily news, which everyday seems to stir anxiety and summon fear. It’s about enduring the loss of a parent, a sibling and even a child. The unthinkable, the horrific, the unfair, none of these are strangers to this life we inhabit, and all of them are cloaked around someone who often does not deserve such pain.
Jesus did not deserve such pain.
Pain is not partial in this life, but perseverance is. Perseverance is reserved only for those who are fueled by a joy that cannot be bought or manufactured, but given by a relationship with a God who is the only one that can sustain us through extinguishable trials.
This life is full of moments that bring us joy, but equally those that challenge the depth of our faith in a God whose perceived silence feels deafening in the darkest of circumstances. It is those circumstances, the dark ones, the ones that threaten our identity as a believer, and reveal the fundamental theology that we are living off of. Sometimes this revelation is not what we would expect, especially to “believers.”
“You are an unbelieving believer.”
These painful, piercing words were spoken to define me three years ago, by someone who had my best interest at heart. Like a ball of fire that wold burn my soul, they seared me to my core. It made me mad, it made me cry, and for a short time, I did not like her. I did not like her until I realized she was absolutely right!
I was going through a hard time. I was stumbling, struggling and sometimes stalling life down a very unstable road. Worry, anxiety and fear were my friends. They were the trinity that were ruling my life. I was an unbelieving believer, because I was not living off of the truths of the gospel. I was living off of the fears of an opportunistic, fallen world that can easily overtake those who are not deeply anchored to the rock of life-Jesus.
If we believe God is sovereign, if we believe He works all things for the good, if we believe He will not abandon us…how is there room for excessive worry, anxiety and fear in our lives? There was in mine three years ago, because saying you believe and even thinking you believe are not the same as living as you believe.
Belief is a very active, ongoing, moment to moment renewal to fight to live that which we say we know. It is not enough to know, we have to fight to really know. It is not enough to hear, we have to fully engage to really hear. It is not even enough to see, we have to seek to really see for ourselves, otherwise, how can we really believe?
It is not that we should strive to go through this life worry free, anxiety free and fear free. That is not possible, I know! The goal is to live this life reflecting the goodness, faithfulness and character of a God who is carrying us well through all those difficult times.
We are allowed to be afraid, Jesus was afraid to the point of what was described in Luke as sweating blood. We are allowed to have worry and anxiety, but none of these things will have us if God completely has our hearts, our minds and our beliefs surrendered and anchored to His promises.
A life of surrender looks a lot different, and it feels a lot different. It feels light and free and it looks not always smooth, but definitely safe.
May we all fight the good fight of belief, even when it makes no sense. May we fight to believe when we don’t want to, and worry and fear seem like a more appealing choice. May we fight hardest when God seems quietest. May we all remember that although HE sometimes is seemingly silent, HE is never still. You never endure alone. Spend a little time with Jesus today and allow him to engage you in your endurance. He will give you rest.
Hey you, hey me, the thirsty, the desperate, the depleted, the exhausted…those barriers, wounds and struggles in our lives are not present by accident. They are there by assignment. Things that challenge us to our core either create or crush us. They are available for our gain and God’s glory. The difference in destroying us or defining us is our resolve to find the meaning and mission in our messes.
Sewn within every great struggle, and branded into every thread of brokenness are immense possibilities. Ministry, connection, growth and healing grant our greatest grievances capabilities to be molded into our most priceless gifts.
I picked up my Bible this morning feeling weary. World events, daily challenges, people I love that are hurting; it all takes a toll. I asked God before opening his word, to let my eyes fall on what I needed to see this morning. Also, that He would equip me with the grace to not just see, but to understand and subsequently live.
