Do you feel lead to do something but fearful feelings of inadequacy are holding you back? Are your dreams stagnated by the voices that tell you, you will fail, or you do not have what it takes?
Me, too. I am not sure why I let my heart become burdened because God has shown Himself faithful to me time and again.
Anytime I go into a situation feeling fully prepared; the outcome is usually not prosperous.
It is the times when I am desperate because I know I alone have nothing to give except needy cries for help to be filled and equipped by The Redeemer that my journeys have yielded the best outcomes.
A few months ago I was going to meet a friend who needed encouragement. I was just three weeks out from an expected surgery that had unexpected outcomes. Not only was I physically depleted, but I was also emotionally flat as well.
It was my first time to drive or get out in three weeks, and I knew I had nothing to give. Nothing. On the fifteen minute drive I prayed, persistently petitioned, and childishly begged for The Spirit to fill my empty tank. “Speak through me, Lord.” “Let me listen to understand and not feel pressured to respond.” “Give me the discernment to know when to speak and when to be silent.” “I cannot do this in without you.” These were the weepings of my weary heart.
My confidence became compromised because ultimately, there was a slow, elusive leak of unbelief hidden in my heart, and the safety valve had given way to the pressure and ruptured.
The lie was, it was all up to me. I was going at it all alone. But guess what, despite my “orphandom,” God still showed up! Not only did He show up but His presence was palpable.
There I was feeling debilitated and deficient, yet strengthened and supplied and I had done nothing but ask from a place of total surrender. No preparation. No planning. No striving. Complete resignation to the competence of Christ instead of the illusion of security in my “skill.”
I want to say I approach every circumstance in humble, self-resignation but that would be deceitful because I often forget this fundamental tenant:
It is a calling of the Savior, not confidence in self that is the qualifier for the task set before me. Knowledge of my inadequacy is healthy because it positions me to work from a place of faithful dependence rather than fearful desperation.
What is holding you back today, friend? Maybe you need to hear this; you are off the hook. It is not up to you. If you are a child of God, He promises to go before you, strengthen you and sustain you where He leads.
But be sure of this, though, is it His calling to a place or position, not you’re coercing towards a platform He never commissioned?
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you.~ Psalm 37:5